


set fire to my atmosphere

by tria19



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, idk why i can't stop writing fics for them, they're so cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 54,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23550187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tria19/pseuds/tria19
Summary: "Allie, he got to spend every day with you for years. And he took it for granted! After all that, he still didn’t realize how goddamn special you are!" Allie paused, confused at the turn in the conversation."He did think I was special, we're bestfri-" she started, but Harry interrupted."If he knew how special you were, he would have done this a long time ago," Harry said resolutely. And then his hands cupped her face and his lips pressed into hers.--or a friends to lovers highschool au
Relationships: Cassandra Pressman/Gordie, Harry Bingham/Allie Pressman, Kelly Aldrich/Harry Bingham, Kelly Aldrich/Will LeClair, Sam Eliot/Gareth "Grizz" Visser
Comments: 97
Kudos: 310





	1. bad decisions

**Author's Note:**

> another hallie fic bc apparently they're the only thing i can write anymore!!! 
> 
> the name is from wake up by eden (pls listen to it, it always makes me wanna write angst)
> 
> enjoy!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie makes poor choices and gets accused of being a spy.

Allie never expected to find herself drunk, with a random boy shoving his tongue down her throat in a very unpleasant fashion but here she is. Well, the drunk part is definitely not new, but the random boy is. As he groped her butt through her too-tight jeans, she thought this probably was her new low. And it was all _his_ fault. 

Let’s backtrack a bit:

Allie lives a happy, albeit pretty standard life. She's close to her family, including her overachiever-in-every-possible way sister, and she’s been living in that shadow since the day she was born. She felt guilty whenever she was resentful because her sister wasn’t a bad person or anything. Cassandra was kind and giving, smart and helpful, and almost always right about things. But that last part is what really grated Allie’s nerves. Allie naturally was the rebellious child, maybe just to be different than her sister. But her rebellion led to frequent groundings and talking to’s by Cassandra, not even her parents. But then Will came into her life. 

He moved into town freshmen year and looked at Allie with no preconceived notions. He didn’t care that she wasn’t perfect, that she always rolled out of bed with only 10 minutes to spare to get to school on time, or that she sometimes spoke strictly in The Office references (Cassandra especially hated this). Will gave Allie his undivided attention and made her feel a way no one else has: like she was special. They became best friends, inseparable, and it got Allie’s family off her back because they loved him. He had dinner with them at least 4 nights a week, usually ending the night by watching movies with Allie on the couch. They always picked themes for the week, like 80’s movie week, or bad horror movies week. It was perfect. 

But this summer it finally hit Allie like a ton of bricks: she liked Will, a lot. She had no intention of doing anything about it because the other constant about Will was his undying affection for Kelly Aldrich. It was painfully ironic and felt like a Taylor Swift song: Will in love with the unavailable girl (she dated a walking stereotype: the rich, popular, (and of course, hot) Harry Bingham) and completely unaware of the fact that his best friend had hopelessly fallen for him. 

Cassandra set it all in motion - the events that ruined everything. One of Cassandra’s many qualities is her ability to read people painstakingly well. It was the last day of school this past May and Allie was on the floor in front of her locker, laughing to the point of tears. Will had given her a piggyback ride across the school, and once at her locker, chucked her off his back (by her request) and she landed on her butt so hard it made her vaguely wonder if her tailbone broke. The two of them were wiping tears from their eyes, Will swearing he heard her bone crack. Cassandra walked over and greeted Will, and held out a hand for Allie. Rather than the disapproving look Allie thought she was going to get, Cassandra was smiling, a sly smile. She lifted Allie and leaned into her, whispering: “You should tell Will how you feel”. Allie was taken aback, not having expressed a word of her feelings to anyone. Allie spent the next three nights talking over the pros and cons with Cass. Cassandra assured Allie that if she told Will, he would realize his crush on Kelly was pointless, and nothing compared to what he and Allie had. She said she felt it in her gut, that she and Will were meant to be. And Cassandra was never wrong.

So Allie told him, a week later. And lo and behold, Cassandra was wrong for the first time ever. He didn’t feel that way about Allie at all, and he said he didn’t think he ever could. He wanted Kelly, and she and Harry broke up, and he was sorry and he didn’t want things to change between them, but it was too late. Everything changed. Their friendship became all awkward jokes, fake smiles, uncomfortable silences, and canceled plans. And within a month, Allie hadn’t seen or spoken to Will in two weeks, and it was like their friendship was never anything at all, just a little blip in the timeline of her life. And that hurt her more than the deep purple contusion that sat right on top of her bruised tailbone ever could. 

So Allie went back to what she did before Will: having rebellious, careless, sometimes verging on dangerous, fun (the exact kind of fun that broke her arm and ankle at the same time in fifth grade). Becca was Allie's good friend, and lucky for Allie, always down to party. Becca got them fake ID’s and they sometimes (not often) got into bars where hot college boys hit on them until they realized they were in high school, but most of the time found house parties to crash. Allie was vaguely aware of the fact that she was using alcohol and parties to numb her pain of losing Will, but she didn’t think too deeply. Cassandra initially tried to help Allie, apologizing for the bad advice and trying to have themed movie nights like Allie and Will’s. But Allie blamed Cassandra for this, and she froze her out. Then a few weeks later, Cassandra retaliated: she told her parents about the partying. 

That was two weeks ago and Allie is fully adjusted to her new lifestyle of pretending her sister does not exist. Allie’s punishment for the partying officially ended and she plans to celebrate with, you guessed it, partying. It’s the last Saturday before the school year starts and Harry Bingham is hosting his annual end of the summer rager in his absurdly large mansion. So Allie got dressed up, told her parents she was going to see her cousin Sam (which isn’t a complete lie; he’s coming to the party too) and left. Cassandra knew where she was going, the whole school is going. Except for Cassandra of course, because she is above that. 

So now we’re basically caught up. 

Twenty minutes ago, Allie was having a blast. Her, Becca, and Sam were dancing, swaying their hips to the music, drinks in hand. The night was fun so far - Allie and Becca were queens of the beer pong table, winning 7 games straight. Allie had a nice buzz going, feeling warm and tingly all over. And then in the blink of an eye, Allie felt cold and sober. Will and Kelly walked into the living room, hand in hand, Kelly leaning into his shoulder. Allie watched as they said hi to people, giving small hugs and high fives, laughing lightly. Then Will looked down at Kelly, adoration in his eyes, and planted a small kiss on her lips. Kelly smiled wide at him, and Allie felt her heart break into a thousand pieces. She walked to the keg and filled up her cup and then downed it. A boy she had never seen before who was decently attractive raised an eyebrow as he watched her chug the cup and the lightbulb went off in her head. What a perfect solution. 

Allie flinched as he squeezed her butt and began brainstorming ways to get out of this predicament. She peeked her eyes open to look for Becca or Sam but she couldn’t see either of them. After another minute or so of sloppy kisses and weird butt squeezes, Allie decided to she needed to end this. She pushed him off of her and he looked immediately confused. 

“I can’t do this, sorry.” She said, slowly backing away. 

“What, why?” He demanded, taking a step towards her. Allie considered how she should answer this for a second, before deciding honesty is the best policy. 

“Honestly, you aren’t a great kisser. And you were squeezing my butt in a really weird, awkward way. And also, I was using you to get over someone else.” She shrugged at the last part. The stranger looked offended, but thankfully shook his head and walked off. Allie glanced around the party, hoping she would spot her friends, but they were both still MIA. Allie suddenly felt very exposed and alone. A chill ran up her neck and she rubbed her arms, not sure where it was coming from. But then she caught his eye. Will was staring at Allie, a sympathetic look on his face. It made her stomach churn. She pushed through the crowd in the living room and out of the glass doors that lead to the massive backyard. It was packed here too, and Allie felt trapped. All she could see was the pity in Will’s eyes, and it made her throat burn. Fuck his pity and fuck him. 

Allie finally spotted an escape from the party. There was a path through the trees that lead down to the beach. Hopefully, fewer people were there, which had to be the case since the party was packed up here. Allie walked quickly, arms wrapped around herself from the chill that only was affecting her. When she got to the beach, she whispered “thank god” to find it almost empty. On the far side of the beach, she saw what looked like a couple having sex. Allie cringed at the thought of sand getting stuck everywhere. Directly in front of her, standing by the water, was another couple. The moon was hitting them in such a way that they were just black silhouettes, no discernable features for Allie to make out. Allie quietly walked into the dunes and took a seat amongst the tall grass, hoping it would hide her so she didn’t have to interact with anyone else for a few minutes. 

She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on them. She couldn’t help but watch the couple by the water, talking animatedly with arms flying and tension in their postures. She wondered who they were and what they were arguing about. Wanting to give them their privacy, she shut her eyes and listened to the waves crash loudly against the shore, letting them lull her into a sense of calm. 

She was disturbed from her meditative state by footsteps walking towards her. She peeked open an eye to see one half of the arguing couple walking back towards the party. It was the girl, long hair flowing down her back. Allie still couldn’t make out who it was in the darkness, but she swore she saw the girl lift a hand to wipe what Allie thought was probably tears from her eyes. Apparently she wasn’t the only one having a bad night. Allie ducked a little lower in her position to make sure she wasn’t seen, but the girl walked by without taking a glance in her direction. She closed her eyes again, basking in the peace of the water and warm breeze tickling her skin. But then a voice cut through it all and Allie snapped her head up. 

The boy was now alone, sitting on the sand and leaning back on his hands, legs splayed out in front of him. It looked like his head was tilted in Allie’s direction. She couldn’t make out any words, but she swore she heard something. She waited a few seconds to see if she was crazy or he was really talking to her. Then it came again. 

“I know you’re over there,” he said. 

Allie froze, feeling caught even though she wasn’t doing anything wrong. Half of her wanted to head back to the party and completely avoid this likely stupid interaction, but the other half of her wanted to defend herself. She wasn’t spying on him and for all she knew this guy was going to go and start telling people she was a creeper or something. She walked closer to him and stopped about five feet away. She talked to the back of his head, a mess of curls moving in the breeze. 

“I wasn’t listening or anything. I just needed a break from the party.” She stood there for a second or two to see if he’d respond, but he was silent. Allie bit her lip and turned to head back to the party. She still wasn’t sure who he was, but he wasn’t her problem. 

“I never thought I’d find Allie Pressman spying on me in the dunes.” Allie snapped back around at her name, her semi-drunk brain slowly piecing together who was sitting in front of her. Harry Bingham was now turned towards her, signature smirk painted on his face. He was staring at her with mischief and teasing behind his eyes. Allie regained her composure with this new info and rolled her eyes dramatically. 

“Shutup, Harry.” She said, before turning to leave. 

“Sit with me for a second,” he said, his voice lacking its arrogance from a second ago. Something about the missing arrogance pulled at her. She bit her lip as she considered and then plopped down in the sand next to him, sitting cross-legged. He didn’t say anything, just glanced at her with a small smile then looked out onto the water. Allie stole a sideways glance at him. His skin was tan, probably from a summer of sailing and swimming, and the moonlight reflected on it making him look ethereal. He had long, pretty eyelashes, which Allie remembered from the one time she had to stand in for Cassandra during a play rehearsal of Romeo and Juliet.

It was the past school year, and Cassandra was sick with the flu. She would recover in time for the show, but for that day Harry wanted to practice and needed a partner. Cassandra’s understudy was at tutoring, and in a strange turn of events, Harry looked to Allie (who was the lowly assistant stage manager) and asked her to stand in for a few scenes so he could practice. The two of them were close enough that Allie could smell his minty breath and pine-scented body wash. She was so nervous her hands were shaking. She was never the one on the stage, always behind the curtains handling things. Harry must have sensed this because he grabbed her hand as he monologued to her, even though it wasn’t in the script. He gave her a reassuring nod when it was her turn to speak and squeezed her hand lightly. She remembered feeling confused by his kindness, the way he gave her a small hug and told her good job with a genuine smile when they finished. But she chalked it up to Harry feeling bad for her, especially since she was a terrible actress. 

“Sorry about you and Kelly,” Allie decided to say after a few minutes of silence. He gave a small chuckle. 

“Thanks, I guess.” Allie bit her lip, not sure if she offended him. Before she could say more he spoke again. 

“Sorry about you and that Will guy.” Allie felt her heart stop.

“What are you talking about?” She asked immediately. 

“I just assumed you two were dating, you were always together. And obviously he’s with Kelly now, so…” his sentence faded away, needing no further explaining. 

“No, we weren’t dating. But I’m glad I’m not the only who thought we should be,” she said, in a random act of honesty she hasn’t had with anyone in a long time. Harry looked at her now, analyzing her. 

“I didn’t say you should have been with him. You dodged a bullet, that kid is an asshole.” Allie’s immediate reaction was to defend Will but she bit her tongue. What was the point? Just as she prepared to call Harry an asshole, he spoke again silencing her. 

“You’re too good for him anyway, Pressman,” Harry said. Allie looked at Harry fully now, confused by this statement. She knew he was just trying to be nice, but it threw her off. It seemed sincere. 

“You know, I was about to call you an asshole,” she said after a moment. He laughed out loud, a real laugh this time. 

“All it took was one compliment to stop you, huh?” He asked, his confident, teasing tone back in his voice. Allie sighed at the implications and turned away from him. She pushed herself to her feet, deciding to end this weird conversation. She felt like she was in some alternate universe, or maybe she was so drunk this was happening in her head. Harry Bingham was her sister’s biggest competition in many ways, and Cassandra might actually hate him. Allie and Harry haven’t interacted more than 5 times in her whole life. Late night conversations on the beach were not something that Harry and Allie partake in together. 

She brushed off her jeans and looked down at Harry, who was staring out at the water like in hypnosis. 

“Bye, Bingham,” Allie said, hoping the attitude was clear in her voice. She was already five feet away when the breeze carried his words to her. 

“I meant what I said before.” She looked back but he was still facing the water. There was no evidence those words were said at all, yet Allie was sure she didn’t imagine them. She continued her trek back to the party, wondering what Harry Bingham could possibly mean by that. 


	2. who doesn't like harry potter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie is beer-soaked and sad until a strange intervention and meeting a new friend.

Allie weaved her way through the crowds looking for Becca’s black lace dress and brown curls. Becca bought the dress at H&M the day before, positive that it would help her make a sexy mistake (her words). She ducked and pushed through the living room, occasionally making small jumps to get a look over the crowd. As she approached the kitchen, she finally spotted Sam’s head at the beer pong table by the fridge. A smile grew on her face, elated to find her friends. But as she neared, Becca’s eyes got wide and she started mouthing ‘abort’ to Allie. Allie raised an eyebrow back, confused by Becca’s message, but continued forward. And then Allie saw. 

Sam and some football player that Allie was pretty sure everyone calls Grizz were at the beer pong table and standing across from them was none other than Will and Kelly. She immediately froze in her spot, eyes stuck on Will. She felt like a deer caught in headlights. Her gut reaction was to go anywhere but here, but her brain was telling her she can’t run away from Will forever. Then Will glanced up at her, immediate apprehension clouding his face. Allie blinked once and put on her very best fake smile. Will looked relieved and gave her a small smile back before focusing his attention back to the game. 

Allie slinked over to Becca now, positive her face was stuck in a grimace. Becca poked her in the ribs and whispered, “Don’t let him win. Smile right now, and fake laugh with me.” Becca’s secret instructions put a real smile on Allie’s face and they both grabbed each other's hands and broke into laughter as if someone just said the funniest joke they ever heard. It was a well-practiced art the two of them used because it made ‘off-guard’ photos look cute (hint: none of their off-guard photos were ever actually caught off-guard). Allie could sense Will’s eyes on her, and she never felt more thankful for Becca than right then. 

Becca pulled Allie and Gwen into the living room so they could dance. The three of them jumped, sang, and spun around for what felt like hours. Gwen disappeared eventually, tired out from it, and Becca was dancing with a football player (maybe his name was Jason?). Allie went to the keg to get another beer (she definitely has lost count of how many she’s had now) and decided to get some fresh air. 

She plopped herself by the edge of the pool, running her fingers through the water and sipping her beer slowly. She couldn’t stop thinking about Will. The alcohol coursing through her veins dulled her anger and instead just left her with immense sadness. He had moved on with his life like their friendship was never anything to him, even though it was everything to Allie. As the sadness continued to engulf her, she brought her cup to her lips to take a long sip of the warm beer, hoping it would do something to make her brain quiet. Just as the liquid hit her tongue, someone aggressively bumped into her back causing the beer to pour down her neck and into her shirt. She knew immediately her bra was soaked. 

“What the fuck!” She yelled in the general direction of a tall kid wearing a lacrosse shirt walking by. He glanced back at her and chuckled before moving on as if nothing happened at all. 

“Fuck my life,” Allie said low. She pushed herself back to her feet. She wasn’t sure what to do now. She was drunk, wearing a soaked bra and shirt, and just by looking through the wide glass doors, Allie was pretty sure Becca was in the middle of her sexy mistake. She was pushed up against a wall with the kid she was dancing with earlier, his hands openly roaming around her body. She couldn’t spot Sam at the beer pong table anymore and she didn’t want to push through the crowd in wet clothes to find him. 

She sighed and decided her best bet was to call it a night. She grabbed her phone and started putting in her address for an Uber. Right before she hit enter, someone appeared at her side. 

“You reek of cheap beer.” Harry Bingham was next to her, smirking. 

“Buy better beer next time and maybe I’ll smell nicer.” Allie retorted. She almost forgot about her random interaction with him earlier in the night. She was too caught up in being sad about Will to give her brain any space to think about Harry. She wasn’t in the mood for his teasing, so she looked back down at her phone to get the Uber. 

“Why are you leaving?” He asked, also glancing at her open Uber app. 

“Because there’s beer all over me?” Allie replied sarcastically, knowing she was coming across as super-bitchy. Harry studied her for a second. 

“Come with me, Pressman.” He grabbed her hand and began dragging her through his house. Allie didn’t have any time to protest, her body jolted by his surprisingly strong pull. He navigated through the crowds quickly, and Allie was hyper-aware of the looks the two of them were getting. She decided to keep her head down to avoid all the judgmental stares being thrown at her. People probably assumed the two of them were about to hook up, even though Allie knew it was far from the truth. 

He led her up the stairs and into the last bedroom on the left. Was he actually trying to hook up? Everyone will definitely think so now. She tried not to dwell on the social implications of this, and instead find out what they were actually doing in his room. 

“Harry, I am not hooking up with you right now,” Allie stated immediately, crossing her arms over her chest. He glanced up at her and laughed loudly. Allie tried not to be offended by his reaction. 

He reached around her to close his door and then stalked across the room to his dresser. Allie paused to take it all in for a second. His room was huge, with its own en-suite, and painted a deep, navy blue. His furniture was modern, dark brown wood. His bed looked like it had to be queen size, at least. He had some certificates and awards framed by his desk, but other than that the walls were bare. 

The only part of the room that exuded any personality was his large floor-to-ceiling bookcase. Allie wandered over to it while he continued to rummage around his drawers. He had classics: Catcher in the Rye, Animal Farm, Pride and Prejudice, even Frankenstein. There was some Shakespeare: Othello, King Lear, A Midsummer Night's Dream. And he had some fun, random stuff: every Dan Brown book (Allie noted she needed to find out why he was reading so much Dan Brown), the Percy Jackson books, the Magicians trilogy, The Outsiders, some Stephen King books. Even a biography of Rosa Parks. His personal library was huge and varied. Allie wondered if he’s actually read most of the books. 

“Why don’t you have the Harry Potter books?” Allie asked, scanning the shelves for them. He was clearly into fantasy. The Harry Potter series was Allie's and Cassandra’s favorite growing up. Allie remembers sneaking into Cass’s room after her parents went to bed so the two of them could keep reading with a flashlight. Allie felt a pang of guilt at the memory. 

“Harry Potter is trash.” Allie gasped so loudly that Harry whipped his head around with alarm on his face. When he took in her faux shocked expression, he rolled his eyes at her. 

“Did you read the books?” Allie demanded. 

“No, I saw the movies and those were trash too,” he responded. 

“You can’t call it trash if you’ve never read it,” Allie said, moving to take a seat on his bed. He was taking forever to find whatever it was he was looking for. Harry didn’t reply, just continued to pick up and put down neatly folded clothes. After a few more minutes, he finally closed his drawers and presented Allie with a grey t-shirt that said Camp Fernwood in green font on the back. 

“Why did it take you like five minutes to find _this_?” Allie asked dubiously, emphasizing the 'this'.

“You really aren’t good at saying thank you, you know that?” He said with an exasperated voice. Allie gave him a sarcastic smile and grabbed the shirt from his hands. She walked into his en-suite and closed the door to change, before remembering her bra was soaked too. A new shirt was only solving half the problem. She opened the door and threw the shirt back at him. He looked at her confused. 

“My bra is soaked. If I put that on it’ll just get wet from my bra.” Harry dramatically sighed, but then ran his hands through his hair. His eyes looked far away like he was thinking. 

“Hold on, I might have something else.” Allie was the confused one now. Did Harry have a bra to give her? She watched as he opened the bottom drawer of his dresser. He pulled out piles of clothes before getting to the back corner. Allie could hear trinkets being knocked around and she wondered what was in there. After a moment, he came up with a black Nike sports bra. 

“Whose bra is that Harry?” Allie said as he held it out to her. 

“Kelly’s, who else?” Allie scoffed immediately and shook her head. She couldn’t believe he was offering her his ex’s bra. 

“Harry, I’m not wearing your ex-girlfriend's bra.” 

“Why not? I don’t need it and she never asked for it back.” He replied back nonchalantly. 

“I don’t know it feels wrong,” Allie admitted truthfully. He considered for a second and then shrugged. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Pressman. Wear it or don’t, you’re the one with a beer-soaked bra on right now.” Allie narrowed her eyes at him and grabbed the sports bra and shirt. 

She re-entered his en-suite and took a minute to process her night. The Harry from the beach does not match the Harry right now. On the beach, he seemed reserved, quiet, maybe even a little sad. Now he is the Harry Allie has known: cocky, sarcastic, arrogant. It was weird that he was helping her considering before this they didn’t even acknowledge each other in the hallway. Things have changed so much this summer for her. Between her confession to Will (and now non-existent friendship), her freezing out Cassandra, and now apparently, her something (coincidence? charity? she didn’t know what to call it) with Harry, her head felt crowded and heavy. But that could also just be the beer. 

She changed her bra and shirt, washed her face with cold water to keep her alert, and finally exited his bathroom. Harry was laid out on his bed, head propped up by his arm, scrolling through his phone. He glanced up at her and nodded in acknowledgment before looking back down at his phone. She headed towards the door but hesitated, remembering she was still carrying her wet clothes. 

“Uh, Harry? Can I leave these somewhere? I’ll grab them before I leave,” she said, lifting the clothes in her hand to his eye level. He considered for a moment and then nodded. 

“Put them in my hamper, I’ll wash them for you.” He moved his head to the left to indicate the hamper next to his dresser. Allie didn’t move. The thought of Harry Bingham washing her bra was making her cheeks red. 

“You don’t have to do that, I just need to store them here for like an hour…” she started but he was already shaking his head. 

“Just put them in the hamper Pressman, stop being complicated.” He sounded slightly annoyed now, maybe because Allie had taken up too much of his time. She bit her lip but complied, dropping the shirt and bra onto Harry’s dirty clothes. She opened the door back to the party but figured she should say thanks. 

“Thanks for this, by the way,” she said, grabbing at the t-shirt. “I’ll give it back to you soon.” Harry again shook his head, but now a smirk was sneaking onto his face. 

“Keep it. I gave you a shirt I haven’t worn in years. That’s why it took five minutes.” His smirk was in full-force now. Allie rolled her eyes, almost forgetting who Harry Bingham was. Objectively, not the nicest guy. Allie shut the door behind her and set off to find her friends. 

  
  
Allie wandered around in Harry Bingham’s too-big-for-her shirt, painfully aware of the looks and whispers surrounding her. She couldn’t find Becca or Sam anywhere. They were likely off making bad decisions, but Allie already had hers for the night. She cringed thinking of the blonde boy and his sloppy kisses. She stood by the beer pong table watching Helena and Luke hit almost every shot in a row. She didn’t hang out with either of them, but Helena always said hi to her and seemed relatively nice. She and Luke always seemed like the perfect couple, two peas in a pod. Her cousin Campbell (Sam’s brother) was also playing, and being a sore loser about it. He was actively blaming his partner, a petite blonde girl Allie had never seen before. His voice was verging on yelling as she missed another shot. The poor girl looked terrified, and Allie wondered how she got involved with her shitty cousin. 

Allie may be rebellious, but Campbell is treacherous. He’s been giving his brother and parents endless amounts of stress and trouble for as long as Allie could remember. Allie doesn’t see him much anymore since he got suspended two years ago and now goes to some weird boarding school for ‘troubled’ kids up north. It was a big thing at her school, a student caught selling drugs. Apparently he gave the names of tons of students who were buying from him, but those names never got out as far as Allie knew. 

Luke and Helena beat Campbell and Campbell stormed off leaving the quiet girl alone at the table. She looked embarrassed and Allie’s heart clenched for her. So she walked over and extended her hand. 

“Sorry about my cousin. I would highly recommend you steer clear of him. I’m Allie, by the way” Allie said cheerfully. 

“I’m Elle.” She had a small voice but seemed thankful for the advice. 

“Wanna be my partner?” Allie asked, pointing to the table. Elle nodded happily and Allie challenged Helena and Luke to another match. Allie was exceptionally good at beer pong, but Elle definitely was not the best. Either way, Allie was enjoying her time getting to know the new girl. 

“Are you from around here?” Allie asked. 

“No, we just moved here from California. My dad got some big new job,” she replied. 

“Oh cool! I’m happy I’ll be seeing you around the hallways then. Did you play sports or anything back in Cali?” 

“I was a dancer actually. A ballerina.” Elle looked wistful thinking about dancing. The ballerina part made the whole image of Elle make sense. She seemed like she would be graceful and light. Unlike Allie. 

They lost the match but Allie introduced Elle to Helena and the three of them moved into the backyard to chat around the firepit. They talked about Elle’s time in California, what West Ham is like, the best places to eat, who to avoid at school. Eventually, Becca joined them, whispering in Allie’s ear that she just had sex in the bathroom. Allie scrunched her nose at her and mouthed the word “gross”, and Becca swatted her on the shoulder. Gwen took a seat around the fire next, and it was becoming a girl’s hang out session by the firepit. Allie was so caught up in the conversation she barely thought of Will or any of the other weird things that happened to her tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay for updates!!!! lmk your thoughts, i love feedback!


	3. why the hell not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie is the hot goss; Harry continues to surprise.

Allie spent Sunday lazing around her house. She volunteered to help her mom make pancakes which turned into Allie getting lectured about why she needs to stop ignoring her sister. Allie resisted every urge not to talk back or roll her eyes and was shocked at her success. By 10 pm, Allie was saddled next to her dad on the couch watching a new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Cassandra walked in front of the tv halfway through much to her dad’s dismay, demanding to talk to Allie in private. Allie was going to ignore her, but something on Cass’s face made her nervous. 

“What, Cass?” Allie said in a bored voice after they were in Cassandra’s room. 

“You slept with Harry? Did you really give up your virginity to Harry Bingham, Allie?” She asked in a harsh whisper. Allie could tell she was doing everything she could to keep her emotions in check. She probably was yelling internally. Allie almost laughed in her face at the absurd thought. She considered lying just to piss off her sister further, but she never lies to Cass, even when she’s mad at her. 

“No, I didn’t. Don’t believe everything you hear, Cass,” Allie replied back coolly. Cassandra looked taken aback for a second, clearly expecting the worst of Allie. 

“Oh, sorry. Well everyone is talking about it. This so Harry, to go around spreading rumors about sleeping with someone. You need to clear this up, Allie,” she demanded. Allie shrugged. 

“I could care less if the whole school thinks I slept with Harry Bingham.” Cassandra looked even more shocked as if that were possible. 

“Allie what about your reputation? You can’t let something like this ruin it.” Allie knew Cassandra was being logical, but she also didn’t care. Her anger at Cassandra boiled back to the surface. 

“What reputation Cass? Who the hell is walking around school worried about what I’m doing besides you? The only reputation you’re worried about right now is your own. Sorry, I’m not living up to your standard.” Cassandra's face immediately fell, guilt splashing across her features. 

“You know that’s not what I meant-“ she began, but Allie was already closing the door behind her. 

* * *

Cassandra wasn’t lying. From the minute Allie walked into school heads turned and whispers ensued. Allie was the new hot goss and it was literally day 1 of junior year. She went through the day avoiding eye contact, feeling lost in chem and calculus, and anticipating the very dramatic reaction Becca was guaranteed to have at the news. 

Allie would have told Becca herself, but on Sundays Becca's whole family came over and her mom made all the kids give up their phones until late Sunday night. Allie knew that by now Becca heard the rumor (due to the many OMG texts she sent Allie this morning), but they didn’t have any overlapping classes until lunch and Allie would rather tell her the real story in person. Just picturing Becca fidgeting in her seat in anticipation was enough to make Allie giggle to herself. 

When lunch finally came, it was worse than Allie thought. She walked over to her table with Becca and Sam, aware of eyes looking between her and Harry who was sitting across the cafeteria. She sighed and plopped down in her seat, blowing loose hair out of her face. Becca was about to burst at the seam. 

“Allie Pressman you better start talking right now.” Her voice was almost verging on angry, probably from being the last to know. Just as Allie opened her mouth to say it didn’t happen, Will and Kelly sat down across the table from her. Allie should have realized Will would still want to sit at this table since they shared the friend group. Seeing him made that burning in her chest flare up and before she knew it she was spilling out the opposite of the truth. 

“It’s true, we hooked up.” Allie watched as Will’s eyes went wide and he shook his head in disappointment. Becca's jaw was on the floor. “Let’s get online for lunch and I’ll fill you in.” Allie tilted her head away from the table, hoping Becca would get the message. The two of them walked towards the lunch line, arms linked, an endless stream of questions pouring out of Becca. As they waited to get served gross meatloaf, Allie prepared herself to tell the truth before she got too invested in the lie. 

“Becca, I need to tell you something,” Allie started, but she was interrupted by a shrill voice coming from the table next to her. 

“Why would he sleep with Allie? It literally makes no sense.”   
  
“Yeah, she’s like a five at best.”

Allie knew who it was before she even faced them. The infamous Ashley’s. They were two rich mean girls, both named Ashley, who thought they ran the school even though most people hated them and actively talked shit about them behind their backs. They threw good parties, so no one ever said how they really felt to their faces. Typically, Allie would have said nothing back. She is basically a nobody, just deemed ‘Cassandra’s sister’ by most, and she liked flying under the radar. But considering how strange life had been lately, Allie felt like it was maybe time to be bold. Everyone was already talking about her anyway.

“You know what you should really be asking yourself, Ashley’s? Why didn’t Harry Bingham sleep with either of you?” Allie bit back, loudly. The shocked look on their faces was enough vindication that Allie didn’t care if they ruined her life after this. 

“And we all know you aren’t natural blondes. We can see your roots.” Becca spit at them, pointing to the top of their heads and cringing. Allie smirked at Becca’s comment, knowing that would get under their skin more than anything. Their matching insta bios literally say ‘blondes have more fun’. 

Becca pulled Allie forward by her wrist, leaving before they could respond. Allie glanced around the lunchroom realizing everyone was silently staring. She caused a scene. Well if she hoped the gossip would die down soon, now it definitely wasn’t. Her eyes connected with the dark ones she was looking into two nights ago. Harry was staring at her, smirking. He raised an eyebrow before turning back to his table. 

“That was amazing! Who is this new Allie? You should have lost your virginity ages ago!” Becca teased. Allie knew now was the time to tell the truth, but for some reason she found herself changing the topic of conversation to how the Ashley’s would get back at her. 

The second half of the school day went arguably worse than first. Now people weren’t even whispering; they were talking about Allie like she wasn’t even in the room. On the upside, she had English Lit with Elle and they sat next to each other. If Elle had seen or heard what happened at lunch, she had the decency not to bring it up. 

At the end of the day, Sam gave Allie a ride home. Usually, Will would have driven her home, but that option was out the window now. And even if she wanted to trap herself in a car with Cassandra, Cass was, of course, hosting a meeting after school to discuss what play they’re going to run next. So Allie accepted Sam's offer gratefully. When they pulled up in front of Allie’s house, Sam put the car in park and Allie gulped. She knew what was coming. 

“You were really brave today.” He stated. Allie had hoped she’d be able to avoid the topic of her outburst completely, but no such luck. At least he brought it up when she was home so she could escape if needed. 

“I’m really not, Sam,” Allie replied honestly. 

“It takes a lot to stand up for yourself. A lot of people hide in the shadows most of their life,” he said thoughtfully. Allie’s first thought was that she lived in Cassandra’s shadow, not that she minded. It was weird to hear someone tell her she was living out in the open. 

“Coming out was way braver than me yelling at the Ashley’s.” Sam smiled at her warmly. 

“I got lucky. It’s a lot harder for other people.” Sam always sounded wise beyond his years. Allie knew he hadn't had a boyfriend ever, but she didn’t think it had anything to do with him. It was probably because nobody else was out at their school. Allie opened the car door and said bye to Sam, heading into her house, happy to leave the deep conversation behind. 

* * *

She was lying on her bed studying her chemistry textbook, but not really absorbing any of the information. It was almost 6:30 now and she heard Cassandra come in a few minutes earlier. As she took notes on covalent bonds, she felt eyes on her. Allie knew Cass would have questions for her. She intentionally did not look in the direction of her door hoping Cassandra would leave. 

“Are you okay?” Cassandra asked after a minute or so. Allie sighed and turned to face her now. Cass was leaning against her door frame, arms crossed over her chest, worry etched across her features. 

“I’m fine,” Allie replied curtly, looking back down at her textbook. 

“Why didn’t you stop the rumors?” She asked. Allie chewed on her pen cap for a second, considering ignoring Cass so she went away. But it felt pointless to ignore her completely, her mom would just keep lecturing her.

“What’s the point? No one would believe me anyway.” Allie had thought this since the minute she walked into school. People had already made up their minds about what happened, nothing Allie said would have changed that. She thinks it’s probably why she felt so bold during lunch. 

“I know what it’s like to have everyone talking about you,” Cassandra said. Allie remembered Cassandra’s freshmen year, when Allie was still in middle school. Cassandra was a bit pretentious when she was younger being the overachiever she was. She didn’t make a lot of friends with her nerdiness and constant i-can-do-it-all attitude. Her heart problems acted up in gym class one day and she had to get taken away in an ambulance. Although most people felt bad for her, there were jokes and rumors like people calling her a robot with a malfunctioning system, and the worst ones saying she deserved to get sick. It was pretty mean and Allie remembered Cassandra coming home for a week straight with tears in her eyes. As terrible as it was, Cassandra tried hard to get rid of any semblance of pretentiousness she had and be more understanding of those around her. Now, most people in the school loved her and it’s like those few weeks never happened. Her anger at Cass dampened with this memory, and Allie held back her sass for once. 

“Don’t worry about me, I’m okay,” she said looking at Cass who was biting her lip with anxiety. “Thank you though, for checking on me,” Allie finished. Cass smiled. 

“Always,” she replied and walked across the hall to her room. Allie’s heart clenched at the Harry Potter reference they’ve used since kids to say ‘I love you’ to each other. 

* * *

The next day at school was slightly better. People still watched her as she walked by but the whispers were less frequent. Lunch was stressful, with the Ashley’s shooting daggers at Allie the whole period. Becca assured her they wouldn’t do anything, but their angry energy was radiating off of them in waves. By the end of the day, Allie couldn’t wait to go home and nap. 

Allie was splayed out on the back steps of the school, soaking up the sunshine. Sam was giving her a ride home but he was tutoring for twenty more minutes. Becca had already left for her job at the frozen yogurt shop and Cass was doing one of her hundred extracurricular activities, so her only option was to wait. She was lost in thought, dreaming about what her mom was making for dinner (she hoped for tacos). Then Harry Bingham interrupted the peace. 

“So I heard you and I hooked up at my party last Saturday. Was I good?” He took a seat on the step next to her and ran his hands through his hair, not breaking eye contact or his annoying smirk the whole time. 

“Fuck off, Bingham,” she said easily, leaning her head back into the sunlight. She closed her eyes and waited for him to disappear, but she could feel his cocky presence hovering near her. After a few seconds, she snapped her eyes open and found him staring at her. Still freaking smirking. 

“What?” She asked exasperatedly. 

“Why are you sitting out here?” He asked. 

“Waiting for my ride home,” she replied back in a bored voice. 

“I’ll give you a ride,” he said. Allie watched as he got up and started walking towards the parking lot, keys swinging in his hands. She just stared, dumbfounded at the offer. 

“Well, are you coming?” He asked, now walking backward, mischief all over his face. Allie bit her lip and considered for a second.

“Sure, why the hell not." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for barely any hallie, but i love me some side characters!! hallie will return in full force next chapter 
> 
> hope u like it :)


	4. you're so annoying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie and Harry listen to One Direction.

Allie slid onto the smooth leather seat of Harry’s black Maserati, immediately impressed by the car. She was vaguely aware that she has probably never been in a car this expensive, and probably won’t ever be again. She quickly texted Sam that she found a ride and then put her hands in her lap and turned towards the window. After a minute or so she realized the car still wasn’t moving. She looked to Harry, who was staring at her like she just missed the punchline to an obvious joke. She felt her cheeks heat up. 

  
  


“Yes?” She asked, trying to hide the nerves from her voice. 

  
  


“Are you gonna give me your address or are we gonna sit in the parking lot all night?” Allie felt the tension release from her shoulders. At least this wasn’t some practical joke she wasn’t in on. 

  
  


“Is this just some weird way of you finding out where Cassandra lives so you can egg our house on Halloween?” Allie asked, half-joking, half-serious. He burst out laughing. 

  
  


“You Pressman’s are crazy,” he replied, still laughing a bit. 

  
  


“That’s not an answer,” Allie replied back, narrowing her eyes at him. Then in very Harry fashion, he gave Allie a wink and smile that made her heart flutter a little. She looked beyond him, out the window, to regain her focus. She told him her address and then sat back in her seat, enjoying the feeling of the fast car on the even pavement. 

After a few minutes, Harry picked up his phone at a red light and put on music. It was a trap song that was on the radio all the time. Allie hated it. Without thinking, she grabbed his phone from the middle console before it could lock. Harry looked like he was going to protest, but then just shook his head and looked back towards the road. Allie swore she almost saw him crack a smile. 

She scrolled through his Spotify, taking note of how many party playlists he had. Allie didn’t even have one. She wondered if that was reflective of her social standing. She navigated to his liked songs next finding a range of music, but mainly rap. Allie preferred rock music, but she could listen to most things. To Allie’s surprise, Harry had an insane amount of One Direction songs saved. She giggled out loud before putting on What Makes You Beautiful. Harry groaned. 

“It’s not my music, I-,” he started but Allie interrupted. 

“I’m not judging, to each their own,” she said back, stifling more giggles as the song flowed through his car speakers loudly. Harry was frowning now, clearly embarrassed. 

“It’s my little sister. I drive her around all the time and they’re her favorite.” He said, trying to turn his head to look at Allie. Allie pointed to the road and he rolled his eyes but faced forward. She didn’t say anything for a minute, letting the song play between them. 

“So are you Team Zayn or Harry?” She asked. Harry groaned even louder this time and rubbed his hand over his face. 

“You’re so annoying,” he stated. 

“Not an answer,” she chimed, pleased at his frustrated sigh. Bothering Harry was becoming quite enjoyable. Who knew Mr. Popular had so many buttons to push? 

After about five minutes of silence from Harry, she realized he was ignoring her. Allie adjusted and pulled one knee up to her chest, slinging her arm around it. She leaned her head back in her seat and watched the trees go by on the highway. They were close to her house now. Allie debated with herself, unsure of whether or not she should apologize. She was just joking around, but maybe he was more sensitive than she thought. She bit her lip as she considered, and decided an apology was necessary. He was driving her home, it was the least she could do. Right as she cleared her throat to speak, he cut the music and pulled up in front of her house. 

“I’m obviously Team Harry.” He was grinning now as he put the car in park. Allie laughed, thankful Harry Bingham was able to take a joke. 

“That’s the correct answer,” she approved. 

“So, we’re getting lunch off-campus tomorrow,” Harry stated matter-of-factly. Allie was confused. Who was Harry talking about? She looked at his phone to see if the screen was lit up with a call. It wasn’t. 

“Who?” Allie asked. 

“Get it together Pressman, me and you obviously.” His head was turned towards her but his body was leaning against his door with his left arm resting outside the window. 

“Why is this obvious?” Allie was still confused. 

“I owe you. For the rumors and that embarrassing scene you had at lunch.” He smirked as he said the last part and Allie wasn’t sure if he was implying that she was the embarrassing one. He really was such a dick. 

“It’s fine, you don’t owe me anything,” she said, starting to open the car door now. She didn’t want to be teased anymore, she was still trying to avoid reliving her outburst. Suddenly Harry’s hand was on her wrist, warm and firm. 

“I want to. It’s the least I can do for the trouble I caused. Please.” At ‘please’ he released her wrist and made a pleading sign with his hands, feigning a sad look. Allie couldn’t help but be entertained by the display. He was always acting. 

“Fine, but it better be good food. And you’re paying.” She stated her requirements, knowing Harry would get a kick out of them. 

“Do you really expect any less of me?” He replied, pretending to be offended. 

“Oh, I expect the absolute worst of you, Bingham,” she replied sarcastically, opening the car door fully and getting out. She walked towards her house and refused to look back as his Maserati sped down her street. 

* * *

The next day at school Allie was a ball of nerves. In the morning she avoided Sam’s question about who gave her a ride home and she knew Becca caught on to the avoidance. Becca looked at her with that analytical expression she does whenever things don’t add up. Becca’s suspicions knotted Allie’s stomach as she ran through what she could say to explain why she was ditching lunch now. 

In her class before lunch, she decided to take action. She sent Becca a short text:  _ getting lunch off campus, hw at the yogurt shop later??  _ She prayed Becca wouldn’t invite herself to the off-campus lunch, a very risky bet to take. After fifteen minutes her phone finally vibrated. 

_ Boo you suck.  _ Allie breathed a sigh of relief. Her prayers were heard. Then another text:  _ I’ll meet you by my car after school.  _ Perfect. She didn’t even seem suspicious either. 

When the bell rang to signal the end of chemistry, Allie moved quickly to get herself out of the school before any of her friends saw her. She didn’t know if Harry was trying to hide this lunch event, but she definitely was. She wasn’t prepared to get questions she didn’t have answers to because she wasn’t ready to tell her friends she lied to their faces. Lucky for her, chem class was on the opposite side of the school. Their school was shaped like a U, with the cafeteria at one end of the U by the faculty parking lot. Her chem class was on the other side of the U, also conveniently near the student parking lot. She leaned against the bike rack and waited for Harry Bingham to magically appear as he seemed to keep doing. 

“Pressman,” he said casually, walking past her. He tilted his head toward the parking lot, indicating for her to follow. Allie trailed behind him, observing his confident stride. He was wearing vans, jeans, and a sweatshirt. The outfit was casual, yet he somehow still carried a sense of pretentiousness with it. Allie slid back into his Maserati, just as impressed again as she was the first time. And in a surprising turn of events, he handed Allie his phone and told her to play something ‘good’. Allie sighed. 

“I don’t think our definitions of good music are the same,” she said, already brainstorming what song was ‘good’ enough for Harry Bingham. She thought about all the bands she liked: Wallows, Bleachers, the 1975. After another minute of deliberation, she decided to go with one of her current favorite songs by a smaller band. She put on Bodys by Car Seat Headrest. For some reason, the song always put her in an immediate good mood. Harry made a face when it began and Allie rolled her eyes. 

“Just listen to it Bingham,” she demanded. He put his hands up in defense and pulled out of the school parking lot. 

They drove wordlessly, only the song and breeze from Allie’s open window providing any sound. She had no idea where they were going but she trusted Harry probably picked the most expensive version of any normal food place. Like a sandwich shop that puts gold leaf on their bread or something. She was fighting every urge in her to sing the song at the top of her lungs and instead tapped her fingers to it against her thigh. Harry hadn’t shown any reaction yet, just focusing on the road ahead of him. He probably hated it, but Allie really wasn’t expecting to win him over. After it ended, Allie put one of his playlists on shuffle right away to make up for it. 

“Okay, that was kind of good,” he admitted. 

“Excuse me, please repeat that louder,” Allie replied, not believing him. 

“It wasn’t bad Pressman. I’m just as shocked as you.” He quickly glanced at her now, shooting her a teasing smile. “Who knew you had good taste?” 

“I knew,” she said back, leaning against her seat with a smirk. She picked a song he liked and it felt like an odd accomplishment. 

“So are you applying to be stage manager for the winter play?” He asked after a moment. 

“Nope, Lexi is gonna get it. No point wasting my time,” she replied back, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. She wanted a shot at stage manager but Lexi had enough of the theater committee and teachers on her side that she was picked automatically. Allie just kept waiting for her to graduate so she could at least get the opportunity to be in charge of a production in her senior year. 

“You figured Cassandra would vote for her own sister to get it,” Harry commented back. Allie was immediately annoyed by his dig at her sister, but it also wasn’t wrong. Cassandra refused to ever nominate Allie for the position because she said it showed favoritism. But even if Harry was right, he didn’t get to point it out to her. 

“Is that what this is about? Getting under Cassandra’s skin?” She asked in a slightly accusatory tone. She was still wondering why Harry took this sudden interest in her and getting back at Cassandra was definitely high on her list of reasons. 

“Believe it or not, my life doesn’t revolve around your sister,” he said flatly. 

“Alright, so why didn’t you just deny the rumors?” Allie could hear the bitchy tone in her voice, but his comment about her sister bothered her. And it was a question that needed an answer. 

“It seemed pointless. People believe what they want to believe.” Allie was reminded that she felt that way too. But it didn’t make sense for him to have that reason. 

“If you corrected them they would have believed you. The Ashley’s would have definitely believed you.” Allie said, her voice dripping with sarcasm at her mention of the Ashley's. He snickered at their names. 

“Fine, I thought the rumors might get Kelly jealous. And even if they didn’t, at least then people would think I was over her.” His tone didn’t change, but Allie could tell she was getting closer to the Harry from the beach. 

“Are you over her?” She asked softly, carefully. She knew he would probably shy away from emotion, but she figured it was worth trying. He was quiet. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. 

“I’m working on it.” Allie’s heart clenched at the confession. His voice had emotion creeping into it, but he quickly put himself back in check. 

“You know, it’s really not that unbelievable,” he said, his arrogant tone back. He pulled the car into a spot at a ’50s looking retro place named Earl’s Diner. Allie had never been here before, her go-to diner was Dotty’s near her house. She didn't imagine Harry Bingham eating at diners. 

“What isn’t?” She asked, unbuckling her seatbelt and gathering her bag. 

“The idea of the two of us hooking up.” His smirk was in full-force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love car rides, so you get two in this chapter, woo! 
> 
> the next update will be v soon!! hope u like it, pls leave thoughts and comments :) 
> 
> ps - stream car seat headrest, i literally love them and i guess that means Allie does too


	5. donuts and diners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie gets donuts and froyo in the same day.

Harry walked ahead of Allie and held open the door for her. A mouth-watering sweet smell hit her like a wave of happiness. 

“What is that?” Allie asked immediately. 

“Homemade donuts,” he replied, his face lit up like a kid in a candy store. They sat down in a booth overlooking a small river that ran behind the diner. 

“Let me order,” Harry said. Allie started to protest but he shook his head and took her menu away. An older woman with red cotton-candy hair walked over to their table with water and coffee. 

“Nice to see you, Harry. How’s Kelly doing?” Harry’s cheeks grew red at the question and he seemed to freeze, avoiding eye contact with the waitress and staring at Allie in silent embarrassment. Allie couldn’t help but feel bad for him and decided to take action. 

“They broke up. It really devastated him, Deb.” Allie intervened, reading the name tag placed on top of the red-striped uniform. Deb looked between Harry and Allie, then pouted. 

“Well, I am so sorry sweetie. You two seemed real great together. And are you, um, his new girlfriend?” Deb asked with hesitation. Harry was now beet red, staring at Allie with wide eyes. 

“No, his cousin. Just here to cheer him up!” Allie gave a brilliant smile and Deb looked relieved to be done with an awkward encounter. She asked for the order and Harry finally looked back in control, smoothly ordering a range of things. 

Allie was only half paying attention, instead thinking about how often Harry and Kelly must have sat in here placing their order with Deb. It gave her a pang of sadness. Her and Will were staples at Dotty’s Diner. Dotty herself told them they would make the cutest couple every time she saw them. At least Harry actually had Kelly. Allie never even had Will. 

Deb left and Harry was looking at Allie warily. Allie sensed he thought she was about to pester him about Kelly. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t ask,” she said to reassure him. Harry gave her a half-smile and ran his hands through his hair. He did it so often, Allie was starting to realize what it meant each time. Right now, he was sad but trying to hide it, she thought. 

“So what did you order?” She asked to change the topic and hopefully brighten the mood. 

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” he said devilishly. She sighed and brainstormed topics she could bring up to talk about. She never usually had to worry about what she was gonna say, but she’s also never hung out with Harry Bingham before. And then it hit her. 

“Why did you have like every Dan Brown book? I didn’t even know he wrote that many, I only know like the Da Vinci Code.” She tried to make sure her voice was neutral and that her typical teasing was muted. The look on Harry’s face changed from arrogant to somber in seconds. Allie felt like she somehow messed up but she didn’t know why. She was saved by Deb dropping off plates of donuts and fries between the two of them. 

Harry ordered at least six different kinds of donuts and two plates of disco fries. By the time Deb was done laying out the food, Harry was past whatever mistake Allie had made and smiling. 

“S’mores, Snickerdoodle, Black Forest, Lemon Meringue, Blueberry, and Old Fashioned.” Harry pointed to each donut as he named them. Allie was almost drooling. The Blueberry and S’mores looked insane. He grabbed a knife and cut them all into fourths. Allie tried the blueberry first and almost died. It was warm and filled with fresh blueberries that popped in her mouth. 

“I don’t need to eat any other ones. This is heaven.” Allie popped another fourth of the blueberry into her mouth and saw Harry smiling in her peripherals. 

“What?” She asked, mouth half-filled. He shook his head but kept smiling. 

“You’re easy to please,” he said, grabbing a piece of the s'mores donut. 

“Thanks, my parents say that's my best quality,” Allie joked. But her parents actually did say that, pretty often. All it took was the allure of food to get Allie to finish chores. 

“So, who is Allie? Besides the girl that's easy to please,” he joked. 

“What do you wanna know?” She asked back, grabbing a piece of snickerdoodle. 

“Give me the sparknotes.” Allie couldn’t help but laugh and roll her eyes at that. 

“Okay fine. Hmmm...I like books and plays, and theater as you know. I love foods, all types. I listen to music while doing most things and my Spotify discover weekly will make me go broke because I keep finding more bands to see in concert. I love chasing a good adrenaline rush, my family and friends describe me as reckless but I would call it fun. And my sister is basically the Ivy League version of me. I’m a state school at best.” She shrugged at the end and stuffed a few fries in her mouth. He laughed at the state school comment. 

“I bet you’re an Ivy League too.” He was being nice, but Allie wasn’t fishing for compliments. She liked being a state school. She got to live in her own world and meet her own expectations. Cassandra dealt with way more pressure and responsibility. 

“Nah, I’m not. But I like it that way.” With that comment, he frowned a little and Allie wasn’t sure why. 

“Are you always so open and honest?” Harry asked. 

“Yeah. Why be anything other than myself?” she replied and continued. “Enough about me. Give me the Harry Bingham sparknotes.” She gave him a challenging smile. Harry almost looked uncomfortable and ran his hands through his hair. Allie might need to start keeping count of how often he did that. 

“You already know all there is to know,” he said nonchalantly, picking at a few fries. Allie knew he was avoiding answering but she didn’t push. 

“I have a bone to pick with you.” Harry glanced up at her, confused. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

“You need to read the Harry Potter books-” she started but he immediately cut her off. 

“No, they’re corny. Not happening.” Allie crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Which movies have you seen?” she demanded, rather than asked. 

“One and two. I saw all I had to. Terrible.” He was trying to hide his smirk as he stuffed donut into his mouth, but Allie could sense it before she even saw it. 

“Three is where it really starts to pick up though! Harry, before I die you will at the very least, watch all eight Harry Potter movies. And if I’m really good, you’ll read all the books too.” He was shaking his head the whole time, picking at the Lemon Meringue donut. 

“No shot, Pressman.”

“If I have to get Principal Keene to make our lunch period a mandatory Harry Potter showing, I will. Don’t doubt me Bingham.” she raised an eyebrow, challenging him to argue back. He stole a sip of water from her cup since his was finished and waited to see if Allie would react. He popped an eyebrow at her and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. 

“I don’t doubt you one bit,” he finally replied. 

They finished the fries and donuts while debating which tv shows were best (they both loved The Office and hated Friends; but she liked Parks and Rec and he hated it. They both agreed on how good Brooklyn 99 was though). He even opened up a bit about how he found Earl’s Diner by accident late one night after a party. He was the designated driver and Clark, Jason, and Luke were demanding food. Harry was driving around aimlessly without GPS since all their phones were dead when Earl’s Diner just appeared like a mirage. From that night on, Harry would find any reason to pick up donuts. He even admitted how much Kelly loved the place, but that was all he said about her. 

They were in the car now and Harry told Allie to play whatever she wanted. Most of the time he was unresponsive, but occasionally she’d see him tap his fingers against the steering wheel or glance towards his dash to see the name of the song. If he did like any of her music, he didn’t admit it to her. As they got nearer to the school, she could sense he was on the verge of speaking but he still hadn’t. Allie almost held her breath, not wanting to scare him away from whatever he was thinking. Then he finally spoke. 

“My dad loved the Dan Brown books by the way. I always thought they were dumb but I read them so we had something to bond over.” Allie paused, realizing what the somber expression that clouded his face earlier was. She paused before replying, not wanting to say the wrong thing. Harry was being vulnerable with her. He wasn’t giving her the sparknotes, but he was giving her an excerpt. 

“I’m sorry about your dad. I can’t even imagine what that must feel like,” she said truthfully. During Allie’s freshman year, Harry’s dad died. He got into a car accident late one night. Rumors swirled around his death for weeks until the story finally came out: he was drunk driving, and to make it worse, he was on the way home from visiting his mistress. Most people took amusement in gossiping about the drama of a rich family torn apart, but Allie remembered just feeling heartbroken for Harry and his family. 

Harry missed school for at least three weeks after that and when he came back he pretended everything was fine. But Allie caught him once at his locker in between classes, standing so still Allie almost thought she was imagining him. But after a moment Harry glanced up at her, and she saw the distinct lines of tears staining his rosy cheeks. When their eyes locked, he immediately slammed his locker shut and walked in the opposite direction. 

“Which book was his favorite?” Allie asked after a few quiet moments. A small smile crossed Harry’s face as he remembered.

“The Lost Symbol. I even liked that one. It was the last one we read together before he died.” The urge to reach out and comfort him was so strong, but she wasn't sure if that was appropriate. They weren't even friends. 

“I didn’t mean to bring him up when I asked about the books. I didn’t know.” Allie felt guilt rising in her chest. 

“Everyone is so afraid to bring him up around me, but sometimes it's nice to remember-” he paused and his brow furrowed,“ -to remember the good things at least.” 

“You don’t love them because of their virtues, you love them in spite of their faults,” Allie said, loosely quoting William Faulkner. It was the first things that popped in her head and she said it before she could stop herself. Harry now brought his eyes to hers as they stopped at a red light. A storm of emotion brewed behind them. His eyes held a question and Allie knew what it was. 

“William Faulkner,” she said and he nodded solemnly. 

After another few minutes, they were back at school. They walked through the empty parking lot together and to their lockers. They stood about twenty feet apart now, opening their lockers and grabbing books for their respective classes. 

“Thanks, Bingham. I appreciate the donuts,” Allie said, closing her locker and zipping up her bag. He looked up and gave her his winning smile.

“No problem. See you around, 'state school'.” Allie groaned out loud right as the bell rang to end lunch. Harry walked away, and even though his back was turned, she could sense his cocky smirk. 

The rest of the school day dragged on and Allie’s mind couldn’t help but wander back to her time with Harry. He really was more complex than people made him out to be. He definitely was the cocky rich kid who threw great parties, but there was also a softness to him that lived in his love for books, theater, and his family. More than anything, she wanted to talk about her newfound whatever this was (maybe friendship?) with Harry. She decided it was time to come clean. 

Becca was behind the counter at Zo’s Fro-Yo making Allie her favorite: plain vanilla froyo, with chocolate chips and raspberries. Becca was off today, but she spent so much time here she could really do whatever she wanted. Allie was nervously biting her nails, trying to figure out how to break all this news to Becca. Justin, the young college kid currently working, was flirting with Becca and giving Allie ample time to plan. And then Becca rounded the corner and was holding two large pink cups of deliciousness. 

“Becks, I have good news and I have bad news.” Becca stopped walking a few feet from the table, brow furrowed. 

“Bad first, always,” she said. 

“So, I kind of lied to you? Wait don’t freak out!” Becca’s normally playful expression turned dark with anger as she waited to hear more. 

“Harry and I didn’t hook up that night. He just gave me his clothes because someone spilled beer on me.” Becca’s expression didn’t change. 

“You better explain why I am just hearing this now before I throw this vanilla froyo into the trash,” Becca threatened. 

“I was going to but then I snapped at the Ashley’s and you were so excited. I didn’t want to disappoint you. You seemed proud of me.” Becca’s expression finally softened and she sat down across from Allie, passing her the yogurt. 

“Al, you can stay a virgin until the day you die and I still wouldn’t be disappointed in you. You seemed happy, so I was happy for you.” 

“Thanks, Becks. I knew no one would believe me if I told the truth, especially since Harry wasn’t denying the rumors. People keep whispering about me in school and someone showed me that one of the Ashley’s was calling me a hoe bag on her finsta. I feel like I’m in over my head.” Allie was skilled at compartmentalization, and she had been convincing herself the rumors and whispers weren’t bothering her, but they were. 

“Fuck them all Allie! They don't know shit. They gossip because they have nothing better to do. Someone will throw a party this weekend and they’ll move onto the next thing.” Becca squeezed Allie’s hand, and Allie felt immediately better. Becca always exuded this certainty and confidence that made Allie believe her. 

“But especially fuck the Ashley’s and Harry Bingham,” Becca finished. Now Allie bit her lip, unsure of Becca’s reaction to the next set of news. 

“Well the good news is Harry Bingham and I are hanging out?” Allie said as a question, unsure of Becca's response. Becca’s eyes bulged and she dropped her spoon. 

“What!” she basically shouted. 

“Harry gave me a ride home yesterday and apologized. Then today we got lunch off-campus. He even admitted he didn’t deny the rumors in hopes it would get Kelly jealous. He’s actually really nice Becks.” Allie watched as Becca went through multiple emotions. She finally settled on surprise and then a little anger. 

“This all happened in two days and you didn’t tell me any of it! What’s wrong with you!” she was yelling again. If anyone knew how to cause a scene it was Becca. 

“I’m sorry, okay! As I already stated, I was and am, in over my head.” Becca’s anger was slowly dissipating off of her, and a smile finally appeared. 

“Alright bitch, give me all the details. Are you guys becoming like a thing?” Allie already knew the answer to that. 

“Are you crazy? Definitely not. But we are becoming friends.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone is having a nice sunday :) 
> 
> enjoy!!!


	6. team john or team peter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie has movie night and then gets a role she didn't even apply for.

The rest of the week went by uneventfully. Harry resumed the normal pattern of not associating with Allie, and the rumors slowed down. The Ashley’s were the only two people still talking about Allie. Gwen’s friend followed one of their finsta’s where they were still posting shady shit that sounded like it had to be about Allie. But it was the weekend now and Allie had convinced her friends to do one of her favorite things: watch sappy love movies. 

Becca, Allie, and Gwen were splayed out across Becca’s bedroom, face masks on, with To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before blaring in the background. Gwen was munching loudly on Doritos, Becca was swiping through one of her many dating apps, and Allie was looking through Becca’s photos. Becca loved photography and often wandered around taking random photos of places, people, or things she finds cool. Allie paused on a photo of herself, taken in what looks like her chemistry classroom. 

“When did you take this Becks?” She asked, moving to show Becca the photo. 

“Oh like yesterday. I left class to take some cool empty hallway photos. I walked by your classroom and saw you with that funny look on your face and had to snap it,” she teased, showing the photo to Gwen. Allie did look funny. Her expression was a mix of confusion, horror, and extreme focus. Chemistry was definitely not going to be Allie’s best subject. She sent the photo to her phone.

“Someone give me a caption for the photo, I’m putting it on my story,” Allie demanded. Allie stared at the ceiling, waiting for either girl to respond. 

“Ummm...this is my ‘i definitely understand this’ face,” Gwen suggested. Allie considered. 

“Becca?” Becca dramatically sighed, got up, and grabbed Allie’s phone. After a few seconds, she showed Allie her work. She wrote ‘chem + allie =’ with the equal sign leading to her confused face. Allie giggled. 

“Oh, Becca what would I do without you?” Allie said in a faux-dreamy voice, making Gwen smirk. “Sorry Gwen, as usual, Becks is the queen of social media.” 

“And don’t we all know it,” Gwen retorted, sticking her tongue out at Becca. Becca was obsessed with social media and she had way more followers than any of them. She made them take photos of their food, parties, and any other little thing Becca could force them to let her snap for her insta, vsco, twitter, or whatever other social media she used. Gwen and Allie always groaned at her constant updating. But, Becca’s photography insta account, on the other hand, was a well-curated beautiful feed of her personal shots from her professional camera. Allie always admired how multi-faceted Becca was. 

Allie posted the photo to her story. Her brain immediately wondered if Will would see it. And then she cursed herself internally for wondering that. To distract herself, she put on To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before 2 next, arguing over Peter or John Ambrose. Allie was Team John Ambrose, partly because Jordan Fisher was beyond handsome, but also because she read the books and John was so romantic in them. Becca and Gwen were both Team Peter. 

“You guys only like Peter because you’ve never read the books! In the movie they make it look like he didn’t do anything wrong. When I read the second book, Peter literally gave me my first heartbreak. I legit cried when he told Lara Jean he would have kissed Jen. I cried!” Becca rolled her eyes. 

“Allie you’ve cried over Petco commercials. Your argument is invalid.” 

“Becca, that commercial was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. That poor dog looked so sad!” Becca snickered and then looked at Allie sharply. Allie knew Becca was moments away from saying something she didn’t want to hear. 

“You know who else would be Team John Ambrose? Cassandra, who you are somehow still ignoring.” Allie groaned. 

“Why won’t you let me be petty?” She begged. 

“Because Cassandra texts me all the time to find out updates about you! You know how much she worries about you. Can’t you just let it go?” Gwen looked between Allie and Becca and then excused herself to get more snacks. 

“You didn’t let it go when I accidentally spilled soda on your favorite white dress in middle school! You ignored me for like three months,” Allie retorted. 

“OMG, will you ever let that go? Besides, my sister wasn’t texting you then asking who’s giving me rides home!” Allie paused. Cassandra wants to know who’s been driving Allie around? Maybe she had seen Harry drop her off but wanted confirmation. 

“Allie, she loves you so much, it’s almost unhealthy. Give the girl a break and stop being your typical stubborn self,” Becca finished her complaint. Allie pursed her lips and said nothing. Next thing she knew, she was being tickled mercilessly on the bottoms of her feet by Becca. 

“Becca-” she gasped for breath in between each word, “stop, stop!” Allie begged, kicking her legs out wildly. 

“Not until you promise you’ll stop ignoring your sister!” Becca demanded. Allie spotted Gwen through teary vision as her painful laughs continued. Gwen took out her phone to snap photos. 

“Okay!” Allie shouted. Becca crawled away from Allie and sat down with a satisfied smirk. Then Allie gave her a devilish look. 

“I never did say I promised.” Becca’s eyes grew wide at Allie’s comment and she jumped up. Allie anticipated this and was already running out the bedroom door, through Becca’s house. She dodged Becca’s little brother and said a fast hello to Becca’s mom who was watching tv on the couch. Becca was shouting after her, but Allie was abnormally fast for an unathletic girl. She ran back into Becca’s room and grabbed her phone. Becca came in a few seconds later and stared at her with a shocked expression. 

“Allie, give me my phone,” she said slowly. 

“Call a truce right now, and I won’t do anything crazy,” Allie said, laying out the terms of her escape. Becca knew she knew the passcode. 

“Gwen, grab the phone!” Becca shouted quickly, pointing to Gwen. Gwen was happily watching their antics from the side of the room. She just smiled and put another chip into her mouth. 

“This is not my problem,” she said after swallowing. Becca huffed and turned her attention back to Allie. Allie was putting in Becca’s passcode and opening up her text messages. She made sure the phone was turned at such an angle that Becca could see everything. She clicked on the second name down, Jason. 

“Aw Jason said you looked pretty today, which by the way, you did. Did he look hot today? I feel like you thought so,” Allie started typing a message to Jason and Becca stared, unbelieving Allie would hit send. Allie knew she finally had the leverage she needed.

“Okay, fine! I’ll drop it! Just give me my phone, you psychopath!” Becca said, desperation in her voice. Allie laughed and tossed the phone, collapsing onto Becca’s bed. 

“I can’t believe you’ve been this annoying your whole life,” Becca commented plopping down next to her. 

“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” Allie replied, tossing a pillow at Becca lightly. Gwen popped up from her position on the floor and smiled. 

“I think you’re both equally annoying if that helps,” she chided in. The three of them started laughing and then Becca and Allie grabbed multiple pillows to throw at Gwen. 

Allie slept over Becca’s that night, sprawled out on the floor underneath a heap of blankets and pillows. Gwen slept on the opposite side of the room, and Becca took her bed. As the two girls snored lightly, Allie scrolled through her twitter, then instagram. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she checked to see who viewed her story. She bit her lip as she scrolled down the names, deflating as she realized Will hadn’t viewed it. But the name at the very bottom made her do a double-take. It said  _ bingham  _ had viewed her story. She knew that was Harry, because her and Cassandra spent many hours theorizing how Harry possibly got the username bingham without paying for it, because they couldn’t believe it wasn’t already in use. It was very Harry-esque to even have his instagram name be pretentious. She clicked on the name and confirmed it was indeed Harry’s profile. He had way more followers than her, but she and Harry never followed each other. He just had photos of him and his friends at parties, on sailboats, or in front of pools. His insta reeked of a spoiled rich kid. Allie couldn't believe how different he seemed from his insta sometimes, even though most of the time he was a perfect reflection of it. She scrunched her nose as she considered Harry Bingham searching for her on instagram and choosing to view her story. As sleep threatened to pull her, she decided that it was very strange, but not worth thinking too hard about. 

In the morning the three of them got pancakes at Dotty’s. Becca confessed she really liked Jason and hoped he would ask her out again soon, but right now it was just casual. Gwen admitted she and Clark were officially not getting back together. They dated on and off for a year, constantly fighting. Gwen even said she wasn’t sure if she ever liked him that much. Allie didn’t add to the conversation, not wanting to go over her embarrassing rejection from Will and otherwise lack of romantic partners. Every time Gwen or Becca brought up Will they gave Allie this sympathetic look that made her stomach turn. Becca brought up Harry with a raised eyebrow, still convinced he might like Allie (this was news to Gwen, who demanded Allie go over the whole story again). Allie shrugged it off and chose not to bring up him viewing her story. She knew it would just fuel Becca’s theory that he liked her and that was not something Allie wanted to delve into. 

That night Allie attempted to study chemistry again to no avail and decided she would go to the library at some point next week to prepare for her first quiz. The rest of her Sunday was quiet, Cassandra busy with whatever new project she took on, and her parents turning in early for work the following day. When her alarm rang on Monday morning she internally groaned and hit it off. She had to beg Sam or Becca to pick her up last minute because she forgot Cassandra had some theater committee meeting before school even started. She threw on ripped mom jeans and oversized Harvard sweatshirt Cassandra bought her on her college tour. She laced up her white converse and trudged to Sam’s car. Becca had already left her house when Allie asked, so Sam agreed even though it was out of the way. 

“Morning,” she signed to Sam before plopping down into his passenger seat. He smiled at her and took off. They only got to school with a few minutes to spare before the first bell, so Allie hurriedly went to her locker. She was putting her history and english books back in her locker and grabbing her math notebook when a voice spoke on her right, hidden behind her locker door. 

“Congratulations Pressman.” Allie recognized it as Harry and confusion hit her in waves. She slowly closed her locker to find Harry standing there, hands in his pockets, smirk on his face. 

“What are you talking about?” She asked. He was looking over her shoulder at someone else, and then turned on his heel walking away in the opposite direction. Allie didn’t even have time to process. 

“Was that Harry?” Cassandra asked. Allie turned around to face her and nodded, saying nothing. 

“Oh. Well congrats Allie, you’re assistant stage manager for the play. We’re doing A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The first meeting is after school today to plan casting.” Cassandra didn’t sound upset, but rather reserved. Allie wondered why. 

“How did I get the position? I didn’t apply,” Allie asked. Cassandra slightly frowned at this. 

“Well only Lexie and her friend Stacy applied. Lexie got stage manager since she had a lot of experience-,” Allie rolled her eyes at this, so much of a reflex, she didn’t even realize she was doing it until Cassandra’s frown deepened. Cassandra continued, “-we were gonna just let Stacy be assistant, but Harry actually argued that you should get it. He had a pretty convincing argument because Ms. Holly agreed.” Ms. Holly was the drama teacher and head of the theater committee. Allie always liked her, and apparently she liked Allie too. But the bigger mystery here was Harry. Why did he argue for her? Clearly, Cassandra was wondering the same thing. 

“Are you and Harry friends or something?” She asked cautiously. Allie hesitated, stuck between honesty or annoying Cassandra. 

“I guess so?” Was the response she decided on. It was the truth for her at least. She had no idea why Harry Bingham was doing anything for her. Cass shrugged and left for her own first class before the bell rang. Allie did the same, trying to block out the hundreds of questions popping into her brain about what the hell was going on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, hope everyone is doing okay!!
> 
> here is another chapter lacking hallie, but again, love me some side characters 
> 
> enjoy! pls leave thoughts/comments i love reading them!


	7. fugitive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie finds out the library is the best place for gossip and ends up playing Fugitive.

Allie avoided telling Becca that Harry was the reason she no longer needed a ride home from school today. She just casually mentioned that she was part of the play and Becca shrugged because it wasn’t that out of ordinary for Allie to be involved with it. Now Allie was sitting towards the back of the auditorium making lists of supplies they’d need for the set and costumes, while half-heartedly listening to Ms. Holly and Cassandra go over casting and the rehearsal schedule. Auditions were beginning tomorrow but it was almost guaranteed Cassandra and Harry would end up as the leads. Allie quietly worked on her own, organizing everything in her small grey notebook she would start carrying around until this play was finally finished. She was so focused she didn’t notice the voice or body seated next to her. 

“Hey, Allie.” It was Elle, looking as dainty as ever in a light pink leotard and her hair in a tight bun. Allie felt her mood immediately brighten. 

“Are you part of the play?” Allie asked. 

“Yep! They’re auditioning dancers today after you guys finish.” Elle looked more excited than Allie had ever seen her. 

“Aw, that’s awesome. I’m sure you’ll make the cut,” Allie replied. 

“Crossing my fingers!” She beamed back. 

Allie and Elle sat together chatting idly for a while about classes they needed to catch up on and what they thought the play would look like. Elle admitted she’d been eating her lunch in the library every day since she felt awkward going into the lunchroom and Allie felt an immediate stab of guilt. She wondered why she hadn’t seen Elle in lunch but she should have been more proactive in finding out why. 

“I’m sorry Elle. You can sit with me at lunch, I feel dumb for not asking you days ago,” Allie said frowning. 

“No worries! I enjoy the library anyway. I can study or people watch. There’s a lot that goes on there,” she said thoughtfully. 

“The library? What interesting things could possibly be going on there?” 

“You’d be shocked. Secret relationships. Arguments between friends. The librarian gossips like it's her job. I know way too much about the algebra teacher and the biology teacher hooking up,” Allie giggled and pressed Elle for more info. For a quiet girl, Elle told her stories quite animatedly, even going as far as making up different voices for different people. She gave the librarian a nasal voice that had Allie clasping a hand over her mouth to stop from laughing too loud. 

“And that’s why the librarian stopped talking to the principal's secretary. To think they were best friends before all that.” Elle sighed, leaning back into her seat. She looked satisfied that Allie enjoyed the story. 

“The twist at the end really got me. Who knew our teachers would be on Tinder?” Allie replied back, still slightly giggling from that fact. Suddenly, Elle’s posture straightened and her easy grin faded. 

“I think I’ll go get ready for my audition,” she said quickly, grabbing her things and hurrying off. Allie had the question on the tip of her tongue but was given the answer before she could ask it. Harry Bingham had sneakily entered their row of seats and plopped down next to Allie with a wide grin. She rolled her eyes at him reflexively. 

“You scared off my friend, Bingham,” Allie commented, avoiding Harry’s gaze and looking back down to her notebook. 

“I have a proposal for you,” he responded, ignoring her comment. She said nothing, knowing he wouldn’t be able to keep quiet long. 

“Be my fugitive partner tonight.” Now Allie looked up, finally providing him the reaction he was waiting for. His ever-present smirk was giving him dimples in his cheeks, and his eyes were full of mischief. 

“How many girls said no before you came to me?” Allie asked, trying her best to sound bored and not jealous. She wasn’t jealous really, but she did believe she wasn’t his first choice. He threw his hand over his heart and made his eyes wide. 

“How dare you assume that of me!” He raised his voice just a bit to really sell the dramatics and Allie bit her lip to stop laughing. 

“You’re so dramatic,” she said, tearing her gaze away from him to hide her small smile. She looked up towards the stage feeling eyes on her. Cassandra was staring out across the auditorium at her with an unreadable expression. She also noticed Will and Kelly turned towards them, pretending to not listen.

“So are you in or are you in?” he asked, not looking towards the stage at all. She wondered if he knew people were watching them. If this was all part of his show he was putting on for Kelly and maybe even Cassandra too, to give them both a big ‘fuck you’. Allie found herself quickly drowning in her own thoughts of why Harry Bingham was interfering with her life, forgetting that he was sitting right in front of her waiting for an answer. 

“I’ll get back to you,” she said a bit frosty, looking up at him. She saw a flash of shock behind Harry’s eyes, likely because he wasn’t used to getting rejected. Allie couldn’t help but feel a bit of pride at surprising _the_ Harry Bingham. He quickly recovered and shrugged his shoulders. 

“Let me know, Pressman,” he said casually, rising and walking back towards the stage now. Allie looked around again. Cassandra was turned away from her, but Allie knew her sister well enough to sense the tension in her posture. She was paying close attention to Allie. Then she felt Will’s eyes burning holes into her. She met them angrily, taking in his frown. She could feel his condescending disappointment radiating off of him in waves. She could hear him in her head: _Why are you talking to Harry? Why are you so irresponsible?_ And the worst one: _Why aren’t you more like Kelly?_ Allie felt heat in her cheeks and she tore her eyes away from Will’s. If they wanted to be disappointed, she was going to give them something to be disappointed about. 

“Harry,” Allie called out. He was about ten feet away now. Harry turned on his heel and locked eyes with her, a question on his face. “I’m in,” she declared. Harry’s smile grew slowly like the sun peeking out on a cloudy day. But once it was there, it was in full force, lighting up his face with mischief and joy mixed together. 

“I knew it,” he said confidently. Then he turned around along with everybody else who was listening in. 

Allie leaned against the back wall of the auditorium waiting for Harry to pack up his things. Cassandra attempted to talk to Allie and offer her a ride home, pretending she had no idea Allie was leaving to play a game of Fugitive. She even had the nerve to give Allie a mini-lecture about how she shouldn't be playing games on a school night. Besides hating Harry academically, Cassandra also hated the things he did outside of school like get drunk, party, and play dangerous games. Allie always thought Fugitive looked fun but she had never been invited to play before. It was something the rich kids played since their part of the neighborhood was more desolate at night. Cassandra and Will were very vocal about how dangerous and stupid it was whenever they got wind that a game was planned, but Allie never said much because it sounded like the exact kind of adrenaline rush she enjoys. 

“Ready, Pressman?” Harry asked, leading her into the parking lot. Clarke, Jason, and other friends of Harry’s were gathered around their cars. Girls were slowly appearing, taking their place next to partners. Lexi stood next to a guy Allie had never met before but looked like he’d be bad news. Allie thought she would feel more out of place, but she oddly felt perfectly normal leaning against Harry’s Maserati while he went over the rules of the game. The sun was going down but the sky was still too light so everyone hung around for a few minutes, waiting for darkness to descend on the streets. Allie was mindlessly scrolling through her phone, not bothering to include herself in Harry’s conversations. She noticed him occasionally glancing back at her, but he stayed planted in his seat on top of Clark’s hood. 

When night finally came, Harry jogged over to his own car and the two of them slipped in. He was quiet at first as he drove around the neighborhood. Allie could sense he had something on his mind. 

“Why did you agree to be my partner?” he finally asked. 

“Why did you ask me to be your partner?” Allie replied back quickly. She knew why she said yes. Everything had been so different lately and rather than be sad about it she was rolling with whatever life threw her way. Even if that was Harry Bingham. But she wasn’t going to tell him that. 

She didn’t know what his answer would be and it looked like he wasn’t going to tell her. He didn’t respond but when Allie glanced at him she saw he had a small smile on his face. He was quiet again after that, focused on driving. Allie was trying her best to spot figures running in the dark. This game was harder than she thought it would be. After another few minutes, she finally saw something. A white shirt fluttering in the night. 

“Harry stop the car!” She shouted. Allie ran out of the car and across someone’s lawn, jumping over a small garden gnome. She could see a girl with dark hair ahead of her, crossing the street now. Allie felt light as her legs pushed her forward. She was running with a purpose, completely unaware of her surroundings. Then she was suddenly on the ground. 

“Allie! Allie! Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Harry’s face appeared in her vision, lines of worry around his eyes. His hands hovered above her body, almost as if he was scared to touch her. Allie took in her surroundings and realized she was on the pavement and a car was next to her. Her brain finally connected the dots. She burst out laughing. 

“Allie?” Harry asked, confusion replacing the worry. Allie couldn’t stop laughing. She just got hit by a car and she didn’t even realize it. She took a quick inventory of how she felt. Besides a little soreness in her side and right leg, she was fine. She popped herself up and saw the girl she was chasing was staring at her wide-eyed. 

“Let’s go!” She shouted in Harry’s direction and then ran towards the girl. The girl looked momentarily confused but started running. 

Allie never felt more alive. Her legs moved in long strides, arms pumping at her sides, the crisp fall air slightly burning her lungs as it entered. She felt the cold whipping against her skin, through her hair, and into her clothes. Whatever soreness she had from the car hitting her was gone, all she felt was adrenaline propelling her forward. She caught the girl she was originally chasing as well as three other people. At one point when she was back in the car, she stuck her upper body out of the window and let the wind rip across her face. Harry nervously tugged on her shirt to pull her back in, but she stayed there, relishing the freedom of the moment. 

After an hour or so of playing, people began calling it quits. Harry thought they must have won but Lexi caught two more people than them. They were stopped outside her house now since Harry offered to give her a ride home. She didn’t know how she would have got home otherwise, but she didn’t mention that to him when he offered. 

“Sorry, Pressman. We’ll get ‘em next time.” Harry grinned at her. He was leaning deep into his seat, one arm outstretched on top the wheel, his other hand resting on the clutch. The moonlight bled into the car, shadowing half of his face. It reminded Allie of when she found him on the beach just before school started. He looked happier now though, a content calm expression on his face. Allie couldn’t help but stare at him. He looked so handsome all the time, but there was a rawness to him at this moment, just like at the beach. The arrogance was missing, and sincere emotions played behind his eyes instead. It made Allie’s heartbeat too loudly, pounding in her ears. Then he turned his dark eyes to her. 

“I never really knew you, Allie,” he said. Allie couldn’t place the emotion in his voice and she was too flustered to try. He kept his gaze steady on her as if trying to unravel her with just a look. She swore his eyes flickered to her lips and it was beginning to feel like too much. 

“What do you mean?” she asked, hoping he didn’t sense how nervous she was under his view. This moment was feeling too intimate. She felt naked under his stare like all her emotions and thoughts were being laid bare in front of him. 

“I’ve known you since I was kid...but I never actually knew you,” he said slowly, like he was carefully picking each word. Now she was positive he was looking at her lips. Was she reading this all wrong? Allie looked away and considered her reply, finding it easier to think when his eyes weren’t locked on hers. 

“Well, what do you think so far? Now that you know me?” She asked, trying to keep her tone and the conversation light. A smile spread across his face. 

“You’re pretty cool for a Pressman.” Allie laughed at that, thankful that the intimacy seemed to have vanished away with her questions. He continued. “I feel like we’re gonna be really good friends.” Allie didn’t expect the words to twist her stomach. She didn’t even realize she was developing a crush on him until reality slapped her in the face. Obviously he wasn’t thinking about kissing her, why would he be?

She couldn’t keep up with her own conflicting emotions. She stopped the moment from being intimate because she was uncomfortable, but then she was crushed by him calling her a friend. She knew deep down that this was never going to be some love story between her and the hot, popular, rich kid; but between Becca and her own quiet, brewing emotions, she fooled herself a little bit. 

She took a breath and recovered her emotions, a skill she was getting fairly good at. 

“Yeah, maybe,” she said, giving him a sideways glance. His content expression had changed into something else, but Allie didn’t want to try and place it. She grabbed her bag and opened the door. 

“Thanks for tonight, it was fun. See you around Bingham.” She pulled herself out of his car and walked towards her front door, hoping the cover of night hid the open disappointment on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this story is all character development and no plot, apologies!!! I will try to move the plot along eventually, i am the worst 
> 
> thanks for reading and i hope you like it!!!! :)


	8. charity case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie has a charity dedicated to her.

Allie begrudgingly piled into Cassandra’s car the next morning, not having asked anyone else for a ride. She was still semi-ignoring her sister, and this morning it was even easier to do so. Her brain was muddled with thoughts and replays of her night with Harry. She cursed herself for developing a crush on another boy she would never have. Cassandra must have sensed her mood because she didn’t push Allie to talk like usual, just let her brood on her own. Allie texted Becca an SOS and they agreed to grab lunch at Allie’s favorite cafe so they could discuss. Allie learned her lesson the first time; she was not keeping this from Becca. 

Allie met Becca at her car right after chemistry, feeling worse than she did in the morning. She texted Elle that she wouldn’t be at lunch today, and Elle sent a photo of the librarian, her hands dramatically thrown in the air as she spoke into her cellphone. Allie chuckled and asked Elle to give her today’s story in English later. 

They got to Gossip Coffee (aptly named) in under ten minutes due to Becca’s speeding. After ordering a chai latte and banana bread, Allie plopped down into one of the comfy mismatched chairs scattered throughout the shop. 

“I am three seconds away from throwing my coffee at you,” Becca threatened. Allie knew Becca hated waiting, but she didn’t like to discuss her problems until she had food in her hand. 

“So I played Fugitive with Harry last night,” Allie began, Becca’s eyes widening. She opened her mouth to speak, and Allie gave her a look. She nodded and made the zip motion over her mouth. “It was fun, I got hit by a car, don’t make that face I’m fine, and Harry was really good company. He drove me home after and gave me some weird line about how he like ‘never really knew me’-” Allie used air quotations and put on a deep voice to mimic Harry and Becca let out a giggle, “-and he was giving me this intense stare, and I swear Becca, I swear to Ariana Grande, he was looking at my lips like he was gonna kiss me,” Becca’s stare intensified at the mention of Ariana Grande, who Becca called her own personal god. “Then I tried to lighten the moment with a question about what he thinks of me, and he told me we’re gonna be really good friends.” Allie sighed and took a sip of her latte. 

“I don’t see the problem here,” Becca said after taking in the story for a few moments. Allie sighed. 

“Well, you see, oddly enough, after he said that…” Allie trailed off, avoiding her confession. Becca tapped her fingers on the table, waiting for Allie to continue. Then the tapping stopped and Allie met her eyes and she knew Becca knew. 

“Oh my Jesus, you like Harry Bingham!” She whisper-yelled. Her mouth was in a perfect O-shape, as Allie nodded her head to confirm. 

“Wow...” was all Becca could manage. 

“I know, I’m disappointed in me.” Allie bit into her banana bread, only feeling semi-better at the sweet taste. 

“Do you wanna tell him?” Becca asked. 

“Definitely not.” 

“Do you like being his friend?” 

“I mean, yeah so far.” Allie finished her banana bread and clasped her latte between her hands, staring down into the mug. 

“I don’t think you’re gonna like my advice-,” Becca said nervously. Allie looked up at this, not sure what Becca was going to suggest, “-but I think you should put your feelings aside and be his friend. You’ve been so different since he barged into your life. In a good way,” she added reassuringly. 

“How do you mean?” Allie asked, curious. 

“You’ve been so happy...and bold! You literally embarrassed the Ashley’s. I think your friendship with Harry is good for you.” Allie took a sip of her warm drink to give herself more time to mull over Becca’s suggestion. Becca was right; she hasn’t been this happy since before the summer when she and Will were still friends. Thinking back to that time sent a stab of pain through her stomach. She had years of happy memories with Will, all clouded now by one stupid crush and confession. Becca must have sensed she was thinking about Will. 

“It’s like the opposite of your friendship with Will. You already have a crush, now you can let it go and just become good friends,” Becca suggested, sympathy laced in her words. 

“You make it sound easy,” Allie said back. 

“You were friends with Will for like almost two years before you developed a crush on him. You’ve only hung out with Harry like four times, I promise you his flaws will come out soon and you’ll laugh at the idea of ever crushing on him,” Becca stated confidently. Allie smiled at this sentiment, imagining what flaws might reveal themselves. 

“I bet he has like a weirdly specific obsession with something completely random like bobbleheads,” Allie said, grinning over her mug. Becca smirked. 

“One day you’re going to be hanging out all normal, and he’ll just be like: ‘Allie I need to show you the coolest thing ever!’ and it’ll be a room of just shelves and shelves of bobbleheads, all perfectly placed and sparkling.” Allie burst out laughing at the ridiculous image Becca planted in her mind. 

“Rich people are weird,” Allie stated after she contained her laughter. Becca nodded in agreement and then tilted her head upwards as if lost in thought. 

“I bet you’ll find out he wears Bath and Body Works body spray,” she said after a moment, shuddering. Allie tried to understand why that was weird but was pulling up nothing. 

“Why would that be weird?” She finally asked.

“Because he’s rich, Al! He should be wearing like Gucci or Tom Ford at the minimum,” Becca stated. Allie was never into name brands or anything like that but Becca definitely had expensive taste. 

“Well, he smelled woodsy last year when I ran lines with him. Like pine-scented body wash. I remember thinking it was a nice smell.” Allie said, ruminating back to that day. 

“That’s unexpected. Not the scent I would have chosen for Harry Bingham,” Becca said, biting into her cinnamon bread. 

“What should my scent be?” Allie asked, curious to get Becca’s analysis of her. 

“Hmm...you’re something floral, yet also dark and spicy. Like lily and sandalwood, or gardenia and patchouli. You’re kind and bright, but also stubborn, and often rude.” Becca said the last part with a smile, knowing the comment would make Allie roll her eyes. 

“I like it. Let’s get out of here, we’re gonna be late for our next class.” Allie left the cafe and spent the rest of the day thinking of Becca’s advice. Just get rid of her crush and have fun, that’s all she had to do. 

* * *

Casting auditions began after school and Allie didn’t have to do much during them. She leisurely watched, feet propped on the seat in front of her, grey notebook open in case she needed to jot anything down. Harry went first and aced his audition, even though she never doubted he wouldn’t. When he was on stage he commanded all the attention, his voice always strong and clear, emotions pouring out of him with each word. It was strange to watch him exude sadness, happiness, anger, and all the complex emotions in between when outside of acting he always seemed to just be arrogant. 

He was sitting in the row ahead of Allie now, watching each audition carefully. He was making his own notes, likely because Cassandra and Ms. Holly would discuss who they thought was best later on. Even if Harry and Cass didn’t get cast, Ms. Holly trusts their opinions so deeply that she always involves them in the plays. 

Two hours later all the auditions for that day were done and everyone was packing up to leave. Allie knew Cass would give her a ride, so she headed out of the auditorium and waited in the parking lot.

“Wanna ride?” Harry’s voice came from behind her, and Allie jumped.

“You’re like a freaking ghost. Stop sneaking up on me,” she said, facing him now. 

“You’re easy to scare,” he said with a smirk. Allie scowled at this. Ever since she was a kid, she was always easily frightened. Really, it all stemmed from the fact that she was rarely ever paying attention to her surroundings. Campbell used to take advantage of that often, screaming in Allie’s ear or aggressively throwing pillows at her head when she least expected it. 

“Is this like a thing now?” she asked, changing the subject. Harry gave her a quizzical look and she sighed at what his expression was implying. She clarified: “The Harry Bingham Charity for Giving Allie Pressman Rides Home?” Harry burst out laughing now, clearly unaffected by her heavy sarcasm. 

“Catchy name,” he commented after recovering. “I guess it is a charity since you literally give me nothing in return.”

“I give you my friendship and good taste in music,” she said back happily, grinning at him. “But I don’t need your charity today, Bingham. I’m gonna catch a ride with my sister.” Allie figured she shouldn’t keep burdening him with her rides home, he probably wanted space. Harry’s face passed between analytical, mischievous, and amused in a matter of seconds. Then he landed on a satisfied smug expression. Allie scrunched her face up. It’s like he knew something he wasn’t letting on. 

“Really? Because I’ve noticed something,” he said, a small smirk growing on his face. Allie thought maybe one day she would find his signature smirk endearing, but that day was not today. 

“Have you now?” she asked, upping her sarcasm and glancing away from him, trying to look bored or uninterested in his words. In reality, her stomach was twisting, wondering what Harry knew that made him so smug. 

“You’re mad at your sister. And from what I gather, you have been for a while.” Allie was shocked. How did Harry know that? She narrowed her eyes at him. 

“And how did you come to that conclusion?” 

“I pay attention,” he said back coolly. She tried hard to keep her expression neutral, but this was bringing up a lot of questions for her. Rather than prod, she decided it was best to pretend she didn’t care that he knew. She shrugged her shoulders and then painted a smirk on her own face. 

“Stalker,” she said back. Harry looked surprised by her non-reaction, but his easy arrogance returned quickly. 

“So are you coming with me or going with your sister?” He asked the question so confidently, so sure he knew Allie would agree. She was contrarian by nature and her gut reaction was to ride with Cassandra and stick her tongue out at him defiantly. But a small part of her, a stupid voice she was trying to drown out, wanted her to say yes so badly. As frustrating as he was, he was also funny, and cute, and interesting and Allie couldn’t but help but be drawn to him like a moth to a flame. 

So she swallowed her gut instinct. She crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes at him, trying to keep in character. “Sure, since you’re basically begging me to.” Harry scoffed at that, but Allie could see him trying to fight back a smile. She tried not to think about why he would smile at that at all. 

Allie adjusted herself in the Maserati right in time to catch Cassandra, who just walked out of the school. They locked eyes, a quizzical expression on Cassandra’s face. Before Allie could decide whether or not she should react, Harry was speeding out of the parking lot, Cass becoming a small figure in the rearview mirror. 

Harry controlled the music this time, teasing Allie that she would end up saving all his playlists to her phone one day. Allie pointed out sexist lyrics in his favorite rap songs, explaining exactly why she would never be saving any of his playlists, while Harry dramatically rolled his eyes at all her comments. The banter between the two of them always felt so easy, and it confused Allie how effortless it was to be Harry’s friend. She would never admit it out loud, but she was enjoying his company almost as much as she used to enjoy Will’s. 

When they pulled up in front of her house, Harry put the car in park and Allie sensed he was contemplating asking her something she didn’t want to answer. It seems people loved to park in front of Allie’s house and trap her whenever they wanted answers from her. Harry turned towards her now, curiosity clear in his eyes. 

“Just ask me already,” she sighed impatiently. She didn’t have to look up to know he smirked at her bluntness. 

“Why are you mad at your sister?” Allie inhaled a sharp breath, her mind racing. There didn’t seem to be malicious intent behind the question, but she still felt slightly paranoid that this was a ploy to piss off Cassandra. The competition between the two of them was so intense Allie sometimes wondered if they really did hate each other. On the other hand, Harry had been a good friend so far. He shared things with her occasionally, small snippets into his own emotional messes. Returning the favor seemed the right thing to do. She bit her lip as she contemplated, finally deciding to get reassurance first. 

“I know I’ve already asked this, but do you swear you aren’t using me to fuck with Cass? Like you’re not just trying to dig up dirt to piss her off later?” Allie said it in a rush, knowing that he would likely be offended if it wasn’t true, or get defensive if it was. But she was never one to shy away from speaking her mind. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. 

“You really don’t trust me at all,” he stated quietly. He was looking at her with an unreadable expression. Allie knew this indecipherable look would keep her tossing and turning later on tonight when she had time to analyze it. She said nothing, just staring back at him with what she hoped was a blank stare. She felt guilt crawling into her chest the longer she remained silent. She has continued to assume the worst of him even though he hasn’t given her a reason to. Yet. 

“Allie, I swear I’m not trying to use you to piss off Cassandra. I’m not using you for anything.” Allie searched his eyes for deceit but all she saw was sincerity. Now she felt like a jerk. “Technically, you’ve been the one using me.” Allie shot her eyes back to his, but relaxed when she saw his easy grin. He turned the charm back on. 

“What are you talking about, Bingham?” She said back with playful sarcasm. His smile grew. 

“Free rides home, free food, control of the music, my t-shirt. And what have I gotten in return?” He paused and she lazily raised an eyebrow at him, trying to hide her enjoyment of this show he was putting on. “Nothing except sarcasm and eye rolls.” Allie’s demeanor broke and she laughed. When he put it that way, he really was getting the shit end of a deal. If she was gonna be his friend, she had to give him something. She composed herself and turned to face him head-on. She hadn’t talked about what happened over the summer with anyone except Becca. Not even Sam. She just let Becca fill him in because reliving it again was too much for Allie. But now, in the passenger seat of Harry Bingham’s car, she felt oddly comfortable telling someone her embarrassing failure with love. 

“So as you already know, Will and I aren’t friends anymore. To make a long story short, I liked him but I wasn’t gonna act on it or anything, just keep it a small secret. I mean he was my best friend for like two years, we were inseparable. I was completely fine just harboring my crush and hoped it would just eventually fade away. Cass knows me too well and realized I was pining after him. She convinced me he liked me back, like really sold me on this whole plan of how I should tell him and everything. And as I’m sure you already know, Cassandra is usually always right. But she wasn’t about that.” Allie quieted and Harry studied her. It was making her nervous, so she just kept going trying to push past how exposed she felt under his gaze. 

“Oh, and she told my parents that I was out partying every weekend when I said I was visiting my friends,” Allie gave a smirk now and shrugged, happy to get rid of the slightly heavy mood that had come over the car just a few seconds ago. 

“Why did she snitch on you?” Allie’s face unintentionally scrunched as she remembered her anger over this particular detail. 

“Because I was ignoring her all summer after the Will thing.” Harry’s expression gave Allie a strong inkling he was going to tell her she was wrong. Something about his expression reminded her of when Cassandra lectured her. So she continued quickly before he could get a word in.

“Yeah I know, ignoring my sister is immature and blah, blah, blah. But guess what? So is snitching! She was just mad that I was going out and having fun instead of spending all my weekends reading books with her.” Allie knew she was verging on sounding like a bitch now, and the guilt from before was quickly returning. Cass was her sister and she shouldn’t be bashing her to Harry. That might be exactly what he was waiting for. 

“You are an enigma, Pressman.” Allie glanced up, and Harry’s soft smile had returned to his face. He definitely wasn’t going to lecture her and she released the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. 

“Why?” She asked. He mused on her question for a second, smile still putting dimples in his slightly rosy cheeks. 

“You just keep surprising me. You were partying every weekend? Who would have thought? I never saw you at any,” He said a slight tease in his voice. 

“Rich kid parties in West Ham aren’t the only ones that exist, Bingham. There’s a whole world out there: bars, other neighborhoods, other schools. You’d be shocked,” she said, animating her face and making her eyes go wide. He snorted. 

“You go to bars? Who would possibly think you’re 21?” He asked with disbelief. Allie took slight offense. 

“A lot more people than you think!” She retorted back. She cursed herself for not having a better comeback at the ready. He had a playful, yet smug look on his face and Allie slumped back in her seat in defeat. She hated not having a witty reply. She gathered her things and opened the door, illuminating the car. Harry’s dark eyes shone as he watched her and she looked away, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks. She stepped onto the sidewalk and then leaned over to poke her head back in the car and say goodbye. 

“Night, Bingham,” she said casually. 

“See you tomorrow, Pressman.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone's doing ok!!!
> 
> enjoy and pls let me know what you think :)


	9. you were never a caterpillar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie stands up for herself and finds out she's a butterfly.

Suddenly Harry Bingham had become Allie’s personal chauffeur. After driving her home the rest of the week, he agreed to start driving her to school in the mornings too. Cassandra was definitely concerned; Allie caught her taking sneaky glances from over her book or pausing in Allie’s doorway, words clearly ready to spill out. But to Allie’s surprise, Cass hadn’t asked a single question or chastised her at all yet. 

Hanging out with Harry was proving to be way more fun that Allie anticipated. Most of their car rides consisted of fighting over their music tastes, debating hot topics like the best foods, whether aliens were real, and why twitter was better than instagram (at least Allie thought so, but Harry vehemently disagreed). 

She still pestered him about Harry Potter and it seemed every day she got closer to breaking him into watching it. His hard ’no‘ had turned into a ‘maybe one day’ and that felt like progress.

They played stupid games during their drives, like counting how many colors of each car they saw, making up stories for the people crossing the street in front of them, and dumb word association games (anytime Allie said pizza Harry always responded with pineapple - she threatened to end the friendship every time it happened). 

While stuck in an endless traffic jam last Friday, Harry introduced Allie to ‘What Are The Odds?’. It was basically just playing dare, but with a twist. He asked her what are the odds she would get out of the car and run through the traffic yelling “I love Harry Bingham!” at the top of her lungs. She said 1000, so Harry counted down from 3, and then they both had to shout out a number between 1 and 1000. If they had yelled the same number, Allie would have to do it. Thankfully, she did not and was saved from the embarrassment. 

But Harry liked to play dangerous, of course. He would always give his range as 2 - which was killer. Allie had asked him what are the odds he walked to the car in front of him and took his shirt off and winked. Since Harry set the range as 2, if he didn’t pick Allie’s number, she had to do the dare. It was cruel. 

Allie had been so nervous but she couldn’t back out - she just prayed he’d pick 1 since that was what she was yelling. When he counted down, she yelled out ‘1’ and so did Harry. Allie was relieved, but then immediately stressed as she watched Harry leave the car. 

He took his shirt off and winked at the soccer mom that was stuck in front of them, and of course, the Harry Bingham charm lit the mom’s face up with a big smile. Allie had noticed his lightly lined abs and tight chest, but she forced her blush away before he could see. 

Her crush felt under control most of the time. She was just genuinely enjoying spending time with him. Every so often she found herself thinking about how good he smelled or how handsome he looked, but she was able to push those thoughts out. 

On rare occasions, little moments would get Allie’s heart racing. Like this past Monday morning when she got into the car and handed Harry his coffee (her own form of repayment to him). He beamed at her, making her heart flutter, and as he reached to grab it from her hand their fingers brushed sending electricity through her fingertips to her head. She quickly recoiled, almost spilling the coffee, but Harry managed to grip it. She had wondered if Harry felt it too, but based on his non-reaction, she knew it must be one-sided. 

But of all the strange things happening between Allie and Harry, the strangest happened this Wednesday. After a long rehearsal, Harry put his car in park outside of Allie's house and turned towards her (the locking Allie in cars to lecture her was becoming very annoying). In a very serious tone, he informed Allie that she should forgive Cassandra and let go of her grudge. 

Before Allie could even respond no, he said: “Appreciate your loved ones because you never know when they’ll be gone.” Allie felt a stab of guilt right through her chest, knowing Harry was thinking of his own dad. Rather than bite back and refuse, she agreed she would attempt to talk to Cassandra by the end of the week even though it was not high on her list of things she wanted to do. 

And now here she was at the end of the week, successfully surviving her first month of junior year. AIthough it had a rocky start, which was kind of Harry Bingham’s fault, he was also the reason it ended up turning out pretty fun. 

When he left Allie at her locker this morning, he moved close to her face and whispered, “it’s the end of the week you know.” Allie sighed, knowing exactly what he meant. Time to talk to her sister. She wasn’t going to break her promise because if she was one thing, it was trustworthy. 

She figured she’d ask Cassandra for a ride home after rehearsal, even though being trapped in a car with Cass having a conversation that would likely turn into a fight, seemed terrible at best. 

She was staring down the clock at rehearsal, watching the minutes tick by until she had to face her sister. The one thing keeping her going was the praise she just received from Ms.Holly. Allie asked if she could start recording some of the behind-the-scenes of the play and have everyone involved post it to their social media, as well as the schools. 

Ms. Holly loved the idea and was going to announce it after rehearsal finished. Allie couldn’t help but keep a small, satisfied smirk on her face at her good idea. 

Currently, the end of the rehearsal wasn’t in sight. The same group of people have been on stage repeating the same scene over and over again. Will wasn’t landing his line right, but neither was Clark or Gwen. Allie knew Ms. Holly pretty well by now, working shows for about two years as the assistant stage manager. Ms. Holly was continually rubbing her temples, a sign she was near the end of patience. She was generally pretty sweet, but when she was annoyed, she could get mean. 

As if sensing the waves of annoyance coming from Ms. Holly, Will, Gwen, and Clark finally nailed their scene. She popped up and clapped, praising them and announcing the end of rehearsal. Everyone sighed, relieved that the freak-out was avoided. Allie walked towards the stage where Cassandra was standing off to the side. 

“Can I catch a ride with you?” Cass looked at her, surprise obvious in her expression. 

“Yeah, of course. Harry isn’t taking you?” She asked back. Allie shook her head and threw Harry a smile, who was, of course, watching her as she anticipated. He gave her a thumbs-up, clearly satisfied that she was finally acting on his request. 

Allie sat on the stage waiting for Cass who was behind the curtains gathering her things when Ms. Holly clapped her hands, gathering everyone's attention. 

“I have one small announcement to make. Allie offered up the fantastic idea of running a behind-the-scenes social media campaign to promote the play. She will start snapping photos and videos of rehearsals and will post them to the school’s social media pages. All I ask is that you also volunteer to post some of the footage and photos on your social media to really get your peers excited.” Ms. Holly looked around, waiting for nods of approval. Most of the students nodded and Ms. Holly beamed. 

“Fantastic. And, of course, thank you to Allie for this brilliant idea. You’re doing a great job as always.” Allie felt her cheeks get hot at the public praise but tried to keep a neutral face. She saw Harry approaching her, probably ready to poke fun. She heard movement from the curtain behind her and then a voice. 

“It’s not even that good of an idea. I literally could have come up with it in my sleep.” Allie knew immediately it was Lexie. 

“Lexie who cares about her dumb idea? You’re doing great as stage manager. Allie on the other hand…” Allie couldn’t place the voice, but it was obviously one of Lexie’s friends. The group snickered at the comment. Allie was seconds away from popping up and walking away but she froze at the next words. 

“She only got the position because she fucked Harry Bingham. I actually value myself, so I don’t sleep my way into school plays.” Laughs echoed at Lexie’s words, but she wasn’t done. “Honestly, she’s pathetic.” 

Anger burned through Allie like wildfire. She felt heat rising from her toes to the crown of her head. She felt eyes watching her and she connected the dots. People heard Lexie. 

She pushed back the curtains revealing Lexie and her two friends. At first, Lexie’s eyes went wide with shock, but then she narrowed them and gave a twisted smile. 

“Maybe if you weren’t such a bitch all the time you’d come up with good ideas too,” Allie said, the words laced with venom. She didn't even realize they were leaving her mouth. She stared at Lexie a few seconds waiting for a rebuttal, but Lexie just looked stumped, her smile faded, and eyes dark with anger. 

Allie turned on her heel and aggressively tossed her bag over her shoulder. She jumped down from the stage to the floor and briskly walked to the exit of the auditorium and straight toward the parking lot. She stopped in front of Cassandra’s car and stared at her reflection in the window. 

Her eyes were glassy, tears threatening to spill any second. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting the air fill her every cell. She released the breath and unclenched her fists. She wiped away the loose water from her eyes and spotted a figure approaching her from the window reflection. 

“Allie,” Harry said her name with so much concern in his voice, it tugged at the crush she had buried deep. She faced him, not bothering to paste a fake smile on her face because he’d be able to tell. 

“I’m fine,” she stated. It was the semi-truth. He had guilt splashed across his face. 

“I’m sorry, Allie. This is all my fault, I should have told the truth about-”

“Stop, Harry. It’s not your fault Lexie’s a bitch.” She cut him off, not wanting his apology. He didn’t do anything wrong. His forehead was still wrinkled with worry so she cracked a smile. 

“Relax, Bingham. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.” She said the words with fake confidence, but she hoped he couldn’t tell. 

“I never said you couldn’t.” He smiled softly at her and her heart fluttered just a little. Although she put on a show of false confidence, she did have one insecurity playing at the back of her mind that she couldn’t help entertaining. 

“Harry, be honest. Does everyone think that? That I got assistant because we slept together?” She avoided his eyes, not wanting to give away the truth of how she felt. 

“No way. Anyone with half a brain can see you’re doing a good job. It’s just Lexie being a bitch, as you nicely pointed out to her.” Allie nodded and met his gaze. His smirk was back, pride in his eyes. She spotted Cassandra walking towards them and pushed off the car. 

“Gotta go. I have a promise to keep.” She raised an eyebrow at him and then nodded her head in Cassandra’s direction. Harry looked over his shoulder and spotted her. He glanced back at Allie looking hesitant like there was something he wanted to do or say. But then his expression lightened and his smile returned. 

“See you tonight, Pressman.” 

* * *

The car ride was silent for the first few minutes, Cassandra giving Allie sideways glances at every red light. 

“I’m fine, Cass,” Allie finally said, annoyed by the silent messages Cass was sending. 

“Okay,” was all she replied. Allie knew Cass didn’t believe her, but discussing Lexie’s comment was not why she was in the car. 

“I want to apologize to you. For the Will stuff and for ignoring you.” Allie said the words slowly, having thought about them all week. 

“Thank you, Allie. This whole thing has been so childish. I am sorry I was wrong about Will but this ignoring me stuff was over the top.” Allie bit her lip to stop from snapping at Cass. She wanted this to end well, so she couldn’t jump down Cass’s throat. 

“I wouldn’t have ignored you for so long if you didn’t rat me out to mom and dad. It made me feel like I couldn’t trust you anymore.” She really wanted to say that she wasn’t childish and Cass was the worst sometimes, but she was proud that she pulled together a rational reply. 

“You were acting crazy, Allie! Going out all the time, making out with random boys! I was worried about you. You were out of control.” Now Allie felt the anger from before return, heat burning through her skin. 

“Are you kidding, Cass? This is exactly why I was ignoring you, you’re so goddamn pretentious all the time! I was going out to parties before the Will incident Cass, I was just better at hiding it with Will as my alibi!” Allie was on the verge of shouting now, words spilling out of her mouth uncontrollably. Cass had pulled the car over on a random street, always responsible even during fights. 

“I always have your best interest at heart, Al. You make rash decisions sometimes and they often lead to mistakes. I was just trying to help you avoid them.” Her voice was so calm and reasonable, it only ignited Allie’s flame more. She took a deep breath to steady herself, knowing yelling would only prove Cassandra’s point. 

“That’s it right there. I am so lucky to have you, someone who loves me and cares for me so deeply. But, Cass, let me live my own life. I want to make my own mistakes! I want to learn life lessons by actually living them, not by you telling me what could have happened. This idea that you know best just comes off as so pretentious it drives me up a wall.” Allie saw hurt flash for a brief second in her sister’s eyes, but it was quickly replaced with something soft. Allie continued. 

‘We’re different people. Like polar opposites. I hate planning anything, I like not knowing what my days have in store. I like to get my adrenaline pumping and do something wild. I like to push boundaries just to see what happens. And yes, I like to go drink alcohol at parties and occasionally make out with a hot boy. Sue me, I’m a teenager with raging hormones.” Cass actually laughed at that and Allie felt her anger dissipate as quickly as it arrived. 

“I’m sorry. I just love you so much Al, you’re my baby sister and I always want to protect you. I didn’t mean to smother you.” She said the words with such sincerity, Allie felt a strong surge of love towards her sister. 

“Can I go transform into a butterfly now?” Allie asked, jokingly. Cass laughed as she turned the car back on and re-entered the traffic. 

“You were never a caterpillar, Allie. You've always been a butterfly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had trouble writing this in between part, but i hope it came out okay!! 
> 
> hopefully the next update will be soon :) 
> 
> enjoy!!


	10. second best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie attends a party.

After making-up with Cassandra, Allie had new pep in her step. She didn’t realize she was carrying a heaviness on her chest until it was finally lifted. She was dancing around her room, blasting 5 Seconds of Summer, picking out an outfit for the party tonight. 

She wasn’t going to go because it’s one of the Ashley’s parties, but Harry insisted she come and Becca, Sam, and Gwen were going to. There was safety in numbers. 

Allie even invited Cass, and after their talk in the car earlier, Cass seemed determined to try to see life from Allie’s point of view. She agreed to come, even offering to curl Allie’s hair just the way she liked (but she could never do herself). 

They all met at Allie’s house (except Harry who already lived near Ashley) and piled into an Uber. Sam showed up with Grizz, and Allie was finally connecting some dots that she had clearly been ignoring before. The two of them always looked at each other with heart eyes, Allie didn’t know how she missed it for so long. 

They walked across the sprawling courtyard of the mansion, loud bass thumping through the ground. Allie could sense Cassandra’s apprehension from ten feet away, so she moved to walk next to her. She squeezed her sister’s hand as they pushed open the large mahogany front doors. 

The party was packed, people everywhere dancing, kissing, laughing, or downing drinks. Their group squeezed through the crowd, Allie holding onto Cassandra’s hand until they made it into the kitchen. Various bottles of alcohol littered the marble island counter, a keg handily placed next to it. They all made different drinks: Becca threw coke and rum together, Allie had sprite and vodka and made the same for Cassandra, Gwen just took two straight shots of tequila, and Grizz and Sam got beer from the keg.

Slowly the group started to separate. Becca and Gwen moved into the living room to dance, Sam and Grizz disappeared off into their own world somewhere outside, and even Cassandra found a friend, almost jumping for joy when she spotted Gordie in the crowd. 

Allie sipped her drink slowly, scanning the room. She decided to make her way over the beer pong tables where she spotted a small blonde head bobbing up and down. 

“Elle!” Allie said excitedly, tapping her on the shoulder. Elle beamed at Allie, pulling her into a hug. 

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Allie commented. Elle said parties weren’t really her thing. 

“Sometimes you just need to let loose,” she replied back with a toothy grin. 

“Come on, play flip cup with me!” Elle grabbed Allie’s wrist dragging her further into the living room where a large table was set up. Lo and behold, there was Harry Bingham in all his glory. His arm was slung over a brunette girl’s shoulders, laughing into her hair. His cheeks were flushed, and Allie was sure it was from drinking too much. 

Allie watched as the girl (Allie was pretty sure her name was Natalie) ran her fingers through Harry’s hair. Harry gave her a quick wink before taking her cup out of her hand and sipping it. Natalie was friends with the Ashley’s, but didn’t participate in their bullying usually, instead just opting to be a silent bystander. That thought made Allie’s pangs of jealousy also mix with ones of slight annoyance. Harry shouldn’t be flirting with the girls that are actively mean to Allie, should he? 

Allie and Elle lined up across the flip cup table from Harry, who still hadn’t looked up from his love fest with Natalie. 

“Harry, I’m getting sick just watching you. Game is starting!” Clark bellowed from the opposite end of the table. Harry finally glanced up, giving Clark a smirk and then taking in his surroundings. His eyes landed on Allie and she felt a blush creep onto her cheeks as his eyes took in her appearance. 

She was wearing black skinny jeans and a mesh long sleeve crop top that exposed her black push-up bra underneath. Her hair was curled perfectly thanks to Cass, and she actually had makeup on for once, making her blue eyes look intense. 

“Pressman!” He half-shouted, shooting her a smile. “Ready to lose?” Allie rolled her eyes and stuck up her middle finger. Clark yelled go and suddenly the table broke out into a frenzy. 

Allie anxiously awaited her turn to drink and flip. The teams were neck and neck and Allie and Harry would be the last to go. Elle was shockingly speedy at chugging her beer and flipped her cup on the first try. 

Allie brought the cup to her lips, a small amount of beer falling down her neck and into her shirt. She placed her cup on the edge of the table and gave it a small flick but it didn’t land. She glanced up to see Harry had just finished downing his beer. 

She focused on her cup again, trying to expertly put just the right amount of force to get it to land perfectly. She flicked it with her index finger and it landed upright. She looked up to see Harry’s cup laying sideways on the table. And then, cheers erupted. 

Allie threw her hands in the air whooping alongside Elle and the rest of her team. Clark ran from his end of the table and wrapped his arms around Allie’s waist, pushing her high in the air and shouting ‘W _e are unstoppable!_ ’ before letting her down. She knew her cheeks had to be pink from the attention. 

Someone shouted rematch and everyone agreed, but then Clark furrowed his eyebrows. 

“We’re out of beer, someone go get some,” he said. At the exact same moment, Allie and Harry spoke up. 

“I’ll get it.” Allie looked at Harry and smirked at their twin moment. 

“I don’t care who gets it, but go to the keg in the backyard, the one in the kitchen is almost out.” Allie nodded, looking across the huge living room through the glass doors. The keg was right next to the pool, but she’d have to push through huge throngs of people to get there. 

“Let’s go get some beer,’ Harry said, beside her now. He handed her one of the pitchers and kept one in his hand. Allie looked out into the crowd and then back at Harry. She had an idea. 

“Wanna race?” She raised a challenging eyebrow at Harry and watched as his smile grew. 

“What’s the winner get?” He asked.

“Whatever they want,” she replied evilly. His lips curved even higher. 

“On 3...2...1!” Harry shouted. Allie sprinted forward, ducking beneath the outstretched arms of a couple dancing. She weaved her way through the crowd while semi-crouched down, feeling like it was helping her maneuver better. She didn’t try to look for Harry - it was too packed to know where he was. 

She was suddenly at the glass doors, shocked at how quick she arrived. She stood up as she ran through the less crowded backyard, jumping to avoid people walking, and spinning around those standing in her path. And then she was at the keg, Harry nowhere in sight. She couldn’t contain her grin. 

After fifteen seconds or so, Harry was pummeling towards the keg until he saw Allie already there. His steps slowed and he shook his head in disappointment, though his smile remained. 

“You cheated,” he stated, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“How dare you! You’re gonna regret that accusation,” she replied back. Allie got on her tippy-toes and put the pitcher down. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, “Harry Bingham lost a race to a girl!” 

People in the backyard turned towards them, some whooping, another yelling ‘Harry sucks!’. Allie grinned victoriously and started pouring beer into her pitcher. Harry was staring at her, mischief written across his expression. 

“What?” she asked, unsure what he was thinking. 

“You’re gonna pay for that, Pressman.” Before Allie could respond, Harry’s arms were wrapped tightly around her waist and she was being thrust backward. The cool water of the pool hit her like a smack in the face. As they fell deeper into the pool, Allie pushed herself away from him and kicked towards the surface. Harry popped up a few seconds later grinning. 

“I am gonna kill you.” Allie reached towards him but he backed away, peddling further into the deep end of the pool. 

“Who you calling a loser now?” he teased. 

“Still you,” Allie replied back bluntly. She swam towards him, stopping just short of where he was floating. She kicked her feet lightly to keep herself up. 

“My phone is probably broken,” she commented lamely. She had the iPhone X so she would probably be fine, but he didn't know that. 

“I’ll buy you a new one.” He responded back easily. Allie splashed him, resulting in him splashing back, and then it evolved into Allie pushing down on his shoulders until his head was back under the water. As he struggled against her surprising force, Allie felt his hands grip her waist and start to pull her under too. 

Not wanting water up her nose, she released his shoulders and watched as he quickly broke through the surface. Droplets hung onto his eyelashes, magnifying his eyes. 

The atmosphere changed and suddenly Allie noticed how close they were, faces only inches apart. His hands were still lightly grasping her waist, sending electricity through her. He was staring at her in such a way, making Allie’s heart do somersaults. 

Reality hit hard and her brain reminded her: _you’re just friends._ She regretfully swam out of his grip and to the edge of the pool where she pulled herself out. Harry remained in the pool, eyes on her. Allie noticed someone blonde watching them from the keg, but they were mostly blocked by the pool house. 

“I would offer you dry clothes but this isn’t my house,” he joked from the water. 

“Your clothes suck anyway,” Allie quipped, sticking her tongue out at him. 

“You’re just leaving me here?” He asked as she started back towards the house. 

“Yup. But don’t forget Bingham - you owe me now.” Allie threw him a wicked grin and left him floating in the pool alone. 

* * *

Allie texted Becca a hundred times before the girl finally appeared in the backyard. 

“Why are you soaked?” She asked incredulously. 

“Harry Bingham,” Allie said with a slight grimace. Becca smirked. 

“Let’s find a blow dryer. Although I doubt we’ll get your jeans fully dry.” She followed Becca into the house trying her best not to bump into anyone. They found an empty bathroom on the second floor that was huge and contained not just one, but three blow dryers. 

After a good twenty minutes of directing hot air across Allie’s clothes, hair, and phone, she was almost as good as new. They rejoined the party, Allie opting to take two shots with Grizz and Sam. She danced with Becca, Gwen, and Elle enjoying the looseness the alcohol provided her. Cassandra had been with Gordie all night, and he even convinced her to play beer pong with him. Allie was majorly impressed and high-fived Gordie, causing Cass to roll her eyes. 

She only saw snippets of Harry since the pool. He had magically found new clothes and rejoined the flip cup table with Natalie. Then she watched him make himself a drink with a very heavy-handed pour of vodka. Last she saw him, he was grabbing a lemon out of Natalie’s mouth with his own mouth to chase his shot. Allie swallowed her jealousy with the help of alcohol, never letting her eyes stay on him for too long. 

The universe was doing double-duty to screw with Allie, because not only did Will and Kelly show up to the party, but Will was making a beeline towards her. She tried to move through the crowd and put distance between them but Will was fast and grabbed her wrist. In his very serious tone of voice he informed Allie they needed to talk. She reluctantly followed him into the quieter hallway off the kitchen. 

“What is it Will?” she asked the minute he stood still. He rubbed his forehead like she was already stressing him out. 

“Al, I’m sorry about what’s happened between us.” She studied his face, trying to decipher if he meant it or not. Riding on her recent wave of letting-go of grudges, she decided it was time to forgive and forget. 

“Me too. I’ve missed you, Will,’ she said truthfully. Will gave her a small smile, checking over his shoulder for Kelly (or at least Allie assumed). 

“Can we both agree to go back to normal? I’ve missed watching b-horror movies with someone,” he said. Allie almost replied back snarkily ‘ _so I guess Kelly doesn’t share that in common with you huh?_ ‘, but she internally cursed herself for her childish thought. 

“Agreed. Let’s go back to normal. Maybe we can do a movie night next Friday?” Allie asked, providing a peace offering. Will nodded and they started walking back towards the party. Becca was watching cautiously but Allie slipped her a thumbs-up. 

“So now that we’re going back to normal, you can finally drop the weird Harry act?” Allie froze. Will walked ahead a few more steps before realizing her absence. 

“What?” She asked back after a few seconds, aware of her sharp tone. Will look confused. 

“You were obviously only hanging out with Harry to get back at me and Kelly. You don’t have to hang out with that jerk anymore, you can just chill with us.” Allie was shocked into silence. Her brain was racing a million miles a minute but no words formed together to make a logical statement. She was dumbfounded. 

“Believe it or not Will, my life doesn’t revolve around you,” she finally replied. 

“Al, come on. You were obsessed with me and Harry was one of the few people you could use to spite me. You hooked up with him to get back at me. But it’s fine, I don’t care anymore. You don’t need to pretend.” He said this like it was a simple fact of life. Like he knew this to be the absolute truth. Allie seethed. 

“I was obsessed with you? Are you fucking kidding me?” She asked back, anger bubbling through her violently. 

“You literally admitted to being in love with me, Allie,” Will said with an exasperated sigh, like he was conversing with a child who wouldn’t listen. 

“Biggest fucking lie I ever told,” she spit back. 

“Allie, we just agreed to go back to normal, can we drop this?” His pretentiousness and condescending tone was back. She felt tears stinging behind her eyes. 

“Fuck you, Will. And honestly, fuck me for ever thinking you were some caring, nice guy. You’re just a fucking asshole.” Allie shoved past Will, walking into the packed living room. She needed to get away before her emotions spilled through her facade. 

“Wow real mature, walking away from this. Just like the Allie I remember, running away when things don’t go the way she wants!” His voice carried to her through the music, talking, and noise of the party. A few people glanced back between the two of them but most weren’t paying attention. But Allie could see Becca, Sam, Gwen, and Grizz staring with wide eyes. Allie quickly turned on her heel and beelined back towards Will. She pushed back her tears and made sure her voice came out clear. 

“You know what’s funny, Will? I actually like being friends with Harry. He’s ten times more a friend and a man than you’ve ever been. And if I were you, I’d be careful to hold onto Kelly. It won’t be long before she realizes that too.” Allie knew the words were mean, but she didn’t care. She said them purposefully, making sure to inject each word with the hatred she felt. 

She left before Will could reply. She pushed through the crowd roughly, needing to escape. She already had her phone out and the Uber app open. 

“Allie!” She heard Becca call after her, but she didn’t slow. Her anger fueled her every step, moving her swiftly through the people and into the backyard. She made her way around the house until she was by herself in the front courtyard, typing her address furiously into the app. 

When her ride finally connected, she put her phone down and let her shoulders finally untense. A sob escaped her lips, and she clasped her hand over her mouth as hot tears poured down her cheeks. She sat on the brick-paved driveway, pulling her knees to her chest as her body slightly shook with every new wave of pain. She didn’t hear the footsteps moving towards her until the warmth of another body was radiating heat onto her own. 

“What did he do?” Harry’s eyes were a storm of anger, worry, and kindness battling each other for control as he kneeled beside her. He reached out and pushed her hair behind her ear. Allie immediately brought her hands to her face, wiping away the tears she was letting freely flow. She took a deep breath. 

“Nothing,” she lied. As close as she and Harry had become, something about this felt too personal to confess so soon. She hadn’t even processed the whole thing herself yet. 

“Tell me, Allie.” The words had force behind them, but his voice was soft. She shook her head. 

“Please, leave it, Harry.” She met his eyes, hoping he’d see the pleading within them. He held her gaze and then reluctantly sighed. He sat back now, putting a bit of space between them. 

“I’m gonna kill him,” Harry said after a minute. Allie said nothing, just watched as Harry clenched his fist and looked into the distance. “He fucking walks around acting like he’s some saint when he’s really a piece of shit. He’s already hurt you and it’s gonna be Kelly next, I know it. And everyone thinks he’s so-” 

Harry was drowned out by the sound of Allie’s heart thumping hard in her own ears. There it was again: Kelly. She lost Will to her, and in reality, she would lose Harry in a minute if Kelly wanted him back. Harry wasn’t angry for Allie, he was angry for Kelly. Allie was always second-best. 

She felt a new wave of tears prickling behind her eyes at this realization. She was saved by her phone’s vibration: the Uber was here. She stood up abruptly and Harry stopped ranting, looking towards her. She didn’t meet his eyes, just walked down the driveway towards the car. 

He called after her, but she didn’t look back. She rested her head on the smooth leather seat, staring at the blur outside her window. Her phone jolted with phone calls and texts until she decisively shut it off. 

When she got home she went straight into bed, not bothering to wash her makeup away. She cried into her pillow, letting herself feel the anguish of the night fully. After some time, her bedroom door creaked open and Cassandra slid next to Allie under the comforter. She said nothing, just methodically caressing Allie’s hair until her eyes finally fluttered shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter goes from happy to sad real quick!! 
> 
> pls lmk if you like it :)


	11. chicken scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie goes to a concert.

“Allie.” She heard her name, disembodied. She was at the weird sleep stage between being semi-awake, aware of her surroundings, but still stuck in her dream. She heard her name repeated again and she slowly blinked her eyes open. 

Becca’s face crowded her vision. “Wake up you lazy bum,” she grinned. 

Allie groaned and rolled away from Becca. She spotted Cass leaning against her doorway, mug in hand. 

“Want tea?” Cass asked. Allie nodded and sat up, taking the mug from her. The two girls sat on either side of Allie’s bed facing her. 

“Soooo, what do we wanna talk about? The weather maybe?” Allie offered after a few seconds. Becca snickered. 

“The Fuck Will LeClair council has convened. Allie, please give us the list of reasons why this council exists?” Becca said in a stately voice. The three girls laughed and Allie felt the knot in her stomach loosen a bit. 

“Are you okay?” Cass asked. Allie considered the question. Technically yes. She was alive and well. But her stomach was in shambles and her heart was jumpy, still recovering from the pain of last night. Will’s words hurt, but more because they injured her pride and shocked her. Not too long ago she thought he put the stars in the sky, and now he seemed like any other high school dick. 

But what really worried Allie was how much Harry’s words hurt. His concern for Kelly was a punch in the gut Allie didn’t see coming. She didn’t realize how badly she wanted Harry to have those feelings for her until it was obvious he didn’t. Allie took a breath to organize her thoughts and responded. 

“Will fucking sucks and I don’t plan on talking to him again for the rest of my life. But, yes, I am okay.” The two girls smiled back at her, relief washing over Cassandra’s features. 

“What did Harry say?” Cassandra asked. 

“He saw you and Will fighting and then asked me what happened when you stormed out. He looked like he was ready to murder someone,” Becca added. Allie hesitated. She had hoped to avoid talking about Harry completely. 

“He was pissed...he mainly seemed worried that Will would end up hurting Kelly too,” Allie said quietly. Becca immediately grasped what Allie was implying, but Cassandra looked slightly confused. Allie nodded at Becca, giving her the okay to explain. 

“Cass...your sister has a crush on Harry. We thought she had it under control but it’s not looking good.” Allie’s lips tilted up at Becca’s ease of explanation. Cassandra said nothing, just nodded. Allie knew she was holding herself back so she didn’t insult Harry in front of Allie. 

“You know the best way to get over a crush, right?” Becca asked, suddenly chipper. Allie and Cassandra both raised their eyebrows at her. 

“Go out, get drunk, and make out with a hot boy!” 

“That is probably not the solution-” Cassandra started, but it was too late. 

“Let’s do it!” Allie replied back, high-fiving Becca. 

By 9:00 pm the two girls had taken shots and caught the train into the city to watch one of their favorite local bands perform. It was at a bar named Charlie’s, and since Becca’s cousin knew the owner, they always got in with their terrible fake IDs. 

Becca tried to convince the rest of the friend group to come but everyone was partied out from the night before. Cassandra was vocally not on-board with the plan, but she let Allie go, even helping her lie to her parents about what she was doing. 

Allie held Becca's hand as they weaved through the crowd to get closer to the stage. The band performing tonight was Chicken Scratch. Allie and Becca always hung out with them whenever they performed at Charlie’s. They were relatively young, only seniors in high school, and the first time they met Allie and Becca they all bonded over how bad all their fake IDs were. 

The bar was dark and hot, but Allie danced and sang the night away. She always loved concerts; there was nothing better than hearing the music you love live, surrounded by other people who also love it. She didn’t think about Will or Harry once, just letting herself enjoy the heavy beat that vibrated through her. 

After their set was done, Allie and Becca made their way to the bar to sit with half of Chicken Scratch. 

“Our favorite underage criminals!” Ryan, the lead singer shouted when he spotted them. 

“You barely look legal Ryan,” Becca shot back at him. He handed Allie and Becca beers. 

“I didn’t know you guys were coming tonight?” 

“Allie was in dire need of some fun,” Becca replied, nudging Allie. The drummer, Drew, frowned. 

“What happened, Allie?” Allie gave a big shrug. 

“Doesn’t matter now!” She said with a smile, clinking her cup against his. 

Allie always had a small crush on Drew. He had floppy dark blonde hair and deep green eyes that were surrounded by freckles. He was tall and strong, having played football up until he joined his band. Becca swore he was crushing on Allie too, but she found that hard to believe. He lived in the city, surrounded by gorgeous girls every day, why would he be into Allie? 

The four of them grabbed a booth by the front of the bar where they slowly downed a pitcher of beer and talked about everything and nothing. They laughed as they watched the guitar and bass player continuously get rejected by girls in the crowd. Becca was flirting with Ryan as usual, the two of them constantly picking on each other. Allie and Drew were engrossed in a conversation about how bananas should be peeled. 

After killing another two hours hanging out with Chicken Scratch, Allie and Becca regretfully got up to leave. The boys begged them to stay longer, but Allie knew she was already getting home too late. 

The cool night air felt nice against Allie’s skin. She was kind of sweaty from being the crowded bar all night and the breeze was refreshing. Becca was still saying bye to the boys, taking her sweet time. Allie felt a tap on her shoulder. 

Drew was standing right next to the entrance, hands tucked into his pocket. 

“What’s up Drew?” She asked. He looked nervous, kind of shifting his weight on his feet. 

“Um, I just..” he started but didn’t finish. He brought a hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it. Allie didn’t know what came over her, but she closed the distance between them.

She linked her fingers behind his neck and brought her lips up to meet his. Drew was clearly shocked, frozen and rigid at the start. But he quickly loosened, wrapping his arms around Allie’s waist and moving his lips in sync with hers. Before Allie could truly get lost in the kiss, she heard loud shrieks of joy. 

“Yes, girl get it!” Becca shouted. Allie swore she saw a flash from behind her closed lids, but she let the kiss last a few seconds longer before ending it. 

Becca had a grin so big it looked painful. “Finally,” she commented, as she grabbed Allie’s arm and pushed her towards the waiting cab. 

“Bye Drew!” Becca shouted back in his direction, waving her hand at him. Allie gave him a sheepish smile before ducking down into the yellow taxi. 

* * *

“So fun night, huh?” Becca asked, wiggling her eyebrows. They were on the train now heading back into West Ham. 

“It always is at Charlie’s,” Allie agreed. Becca showed Allie the photo of her and Drew and posted it on her Insta and Snapchat. Cassandra already replied back with an angry emoji, whereas Gwen sent the clapping hands. 

“Harry and Will have viewed my story, by the way,” Becca said, eyeing Allie for her reaction. She shrugged. 

“So does this mean you’re over Harry?” Becca asked, a hint of hopefulness in her voice. Allie bit her lip, not wanting to tell Becca about the sinking feeling she had in her stomach since she left Drew outside the bar. She shook her head and Becca frowned. 

“I guess Cass was right,” Becca sighed. 

“It’s bad Becks,” Allie finally admitted. Becca rubbed her hand and gave her a sad smile. 

“The whole time I was kissing Drew...I was wishing it was Harry.” 

“We can’t help what we feel babes.” Allie nodded. 

“You’re like a wise, wrinkly, old woman Becks,” Allie replied, jumping across the row before Becca could swat her arm like she anticipated. Becca had a look in her eye and Allie knew she should run. She popped up and ran through the empty train cart, catapulting over seats, hanging from luggage bars, and laughing freely, forgetting about her feelings for just a little while. 

* * *

  
  


Allie awoke with a start on Monday morning, her alarm clock blaring. She quickly realized Harry wasn’t picking her up from school. He had texted her twice after the party on Friday but she didn’t reply and it’s been radio silence since. She bounded down the stairs taking two at a time, hoping to catch Cassandra before she left early for one of her many extracurriculars. 

“Cass!’ Allie yelled from the staircase. Her sister appeared at the bottom of it, arms crossed. 

“Let me guess, you need a ride?” Allie nodded. 

“You literally have three minutes, I can’t be late for my student council meeting.” Allie grumbled under her breath but sprinted back to her room. She was dressed and ready in five minutes, a new record for her. She didn’t exactly look great, but it was good enough to show her face in public. 

They got into Cassandra’s car and Allie quietly ate a banana, hoping Cass wouldn’t ask the question she was thinking. She, of course, was never that lucky. 

“So why isn’t Harry picking you up?” Allie made a concerted effort to eat the rest of her banana painstakingly slow. Cassandra sighed. 

“Allie,” she said in her _“I’m about to lecture you”_ voice. 

“I never texted him back after the party. No more questions or I’m literally throwing myself out of the car.” Cassandra rolled her eyes at the dramatic threat but changed the topic. 

Allie couldn’t help but feel a little nervous walking into school. The thought of having to face Will, Kelly, or Harry was enough to make her consider skipping. The universe was finally cutting her some slack though and she managed to have no awkward run-ins with anyone. When it was time for lunch, Allie decided she’d be better off hiding in the library. 

She sat with Elle at a table right beneath a huge window, drowning them in golden light. Allie was attempting to teach herself chemistry, but it wasn’t going well. Elle was dutifully reading Wuthering Heights for an extra credit project. 

The librarian had caused a scene earlier, kicking out a couple that was making out behind the non-fiction shelf. Elle whispered to Allie that the librarian was in an extra bad mood because the principal’s secretary stole her parking spot. The drama going between the adults in the school rivaled the students. 

Ten minutes into lunch Allie felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She ignored it, but then it went off again a minute later. Annoyed, she grabbed her phone out of her sweatshirt. She had two unread messages from Harry Bingham. 

_where are you?_

_stop ignoring me Pressman_

Allie hesitated but decided she couldn’t avoid Harry forever. Kissing Drew might not have helped her get over him, but she was positive she could be better at controlling her feelings. 

_relax stalker_

_i’m in the library_

Harry didn’t reply back to that. Allie stuffed her phone in her bag, determined not to be distracted anymore. She glued her eyes to her textbook, taking notes, and trying her best to answer practice questions. She finally got into the zone, feeling completely absorbed in her work. 

“Uhh, I can go,” she heard Elle say. Allie looked up. Harry Bingham was standing opposite their table. 

“No, stay. Just here to join the study session if you’ll have me?” He directed the question at Elle and she looked flustered by being asked at all. She nodded silently and Harry rounded the table and pulled out the chair next to Allie. 

“Pressman,” he said as he sat. Allie tried to ignore how close he was and focused on the equation she was writing out. She could feel his eyes on her paper. 

“You’re doing it wrong.” Allie exhaled loudly and peered sideways at him. 

“No I’m not,” she bit back defensively. Harry was quiet for a moment. 

“Sure,” he finally responded. Allie studied her equation. It looked right, but now she was doubting herself. She wasn’t good at this to begin with, and Harry was generally smarter than her. She sighed in frustration and turned to him. 

“Okay fine, just tell me what I did wrong.” Allie watched as Harry’s blank face transformed into one of victory. It made her want to throw something at him. 

“You turned water into hydrogen peroxide. The two goes in front of the H, not as a subscript.” Allie wrote out his correction then compared her original answer to his. She checked the textbook. He was, of course, right. 

“I feel like I’m gonna regret asking this…” Allie started. A wide grin appeared on his face and Allie rolled her eyes. “Can you tutor me in chem, Harry?” 

“Anything for you, Pressman.” 

Harry was much more bearable as a tutor. There was way less arrogance and a lot more focus. Ends up he had been a tutor for the school for two years but quit at the start of his senior year. Allie was just thankful he was willing to come out of retirement to help her pass chem. 

As the lunch period dwindled to an end, Elle parted ways with them heading off to dance class, and Allie and Harry walked to their lockers together. Plastered on all the grey lockers were flyers for the homecoming dance, happening this Saturday. 

Allie put in her combination and switched out her chem textbook for English Literature books. Harry was leaning against the locker next to hers, scrolling through his phone. 

“So it looked like you had a good time on Saturday.” Allie did a double-take, unsure if Harry had actually said that, or if her brain was playing tricks on her. He was still looking down at his phone, but Allie could see his finger hovering over the screen, unmoving. 

“Yeah, Becca and I love going to Charlie’s. There’s nothing better than seeing bands perform live.” Allie wasn’t sure if Harry was just making conversation or hinting at something, so she figured playing it safe was her best bet. Harry tucked his phone into his pocket. 

“Nothing better huh?” His eyes finally landed on hers. She couldn’t interpret the meaning behind his words, but for some reason she felt her cheeks getting hot. Before Allie could reply, he spoke again.

“I came to pick you up this morning.” Allie felt her stomach drop.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I just assumed you wouldn’t after…” Her voice trailed off. She couldn’t complete the thought, but she knew Harry would understand. 

“It’s all good. Do you want a ride home today?” He gave her a warm smile, and she nodded. As Allie stuffed her last books into her bag, Harry ripped the flyer off of the locker in front of him. 

“So you going to homecoming on Saturday?” His voice was casual, but Allie couldn’t help but wonder if he would follow up with an invitation. She knew in her gut he wasn’t about to ask her to the dance, but she was always an optimist. 

“Yup,” she replied, popping the p a bit too loudly. 

“Who you going with?” He asked. Her heart raced immediately, unprepared for the question. 

“Just with Becca and Gwen.” Harry nodded, no emotion peeking through his handsome features. “What about you?” 

“Don’t know yet, but probably alone.” Allie released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. A smile threatened to reveal itself on her face. He didn't ask her, but he also didn't ask anyone else. 

“Well if you don’t wanna look like a loser, feel free to come hang out at our table,” Allie said, knowing it’d rile him up. He scoffed. 

“Pressman, we all know you’re the loser here. Do we really need to go over your terrible taste in music again?” He teased. Allie shut her locker and shoved his hip with her own. 

“Harry open up Spotify right now so we can look at all the new songs you’ve saved that you got from…wait let me think...oh yeah, from me!” Harry took out his phone, threatening to open the app and prove Allie wrong. They walked to class continuing this debate, Allie vaguely aware of the small spark of hope blossoming in her heart.

* * *

The week went by in a blur. She decided to skip out on lunch every day because she was a coward. Facing Will and Kelly was not on her list of things to do. During play rehearsals it was easy to avoid them, finding tasks to do that didn’t overlap either of them. 

Since Allie snapped at Lexi, play rehearsals had been drama-free. Everyone was doing their part, and no one was talking shit behind curtains. It was coming along nicely so far. Costumes and sets were almost completely done and the acting was improving every rehearsal. The play wasn’t until early December, so they still had a lot of time to perfect everything. 

The social media campaign Allie thought of was turning out to be quite entertaining. People were actively recording and taking photos almost all the time. They’d post them on their social media and send them to Allie so she could compile a behind-the-scenes video to release after the show. 

It was Friday and rehearsals were short and easy, so Allie perched herself in the back of the auditorium and looked through the behind-the-scenes footage from this week. There was a funny video of Gordie ‘making himself disappear’ by angling the camera perfectly so you can’t tell he’s just jumping off the stage. Someone recorded Clark and Will doing their best animal impressions backstage (Clark’s horse was scarily convincing). Kelly and Helena always sing while they sew the costumes and someone snuck in right on time to record their rendition of the Spice Girls _Wannabe._ Cassandra even made it into the bloopers with photos Gordie snapped of her making silly faces on stage when no one was looking. 

Allie’s favorite video though is one Elle recorded of her and Harry. It was from Wednesday, when Allie was directing actors to their places on stage and Harry was standing behind her. He started crumpling up paper balls and throwing them at her. Allie remembered trying so hard not to turn around and hit him. He kept at it though, and when she was finally done with what she was doing, she lunged at Harry. 

He knew it was coming and ran, sprinting up the left aisle of the auditorium and out into the hallway. The video cuts off there, but Allie smiled, remembering what happened after. She chased Harry through the school hallways, finally catching up to him and grabbing his shirt. He tripped over his feet and dragged Allie down with him. 

They tumbled to the ground and Allie immediately started tickling his sides where he stupidly revealed he was insanely ticklish. Then she got up and ran, hoping she could escape before he retaliated. But he caught her quickly, grasping her by her waist and pulling her into his chest. For a second they paused, out of breath and staring at each other. Allie really thought he might kiss her, even though she knew that was crazy. They were interrupted just in time by an annoyed Lexi calling Harry back to be on stage. 

Allie sighed, closing the video. Her crush for Harry hadn’t lessened in the past six days but felt like she was becoming an expert at hiding it (from him at least). Cassandra had already given her a disapproving speech about how she was setting herself up to get hurt again, but Allie rolled her eyes and kicked Cass out of her room. She knew Cass was right, but this time she had no intention of ever admitting her feelings to Harry unlike with Will. She had way too much fun with him to risk losing him. 

After rehearsal ended Allie met up with Becca, Gwen, and Cassandra. They went straight to the mall to pick out new dresses for homecoming. Cassandra, being her highly rational self, didn’t want a new dress, claiming she had enough options in her closet. Gordie had asked Cass to be his date, and Allie used it as leverage to convince Cass a new dress was necessary. 

They made their way through H&M, Forever 21, and Zara. Becca found a curve-hugging bandage dress at H&M that she bought. Gwen and Cassandra found dresses at Forever 21. Gwen picked out a cute A-line dress, and Cass picked a tight black cami dress, shocking everyone. 

Allie still hadn’t found anything she loved. On a whim, she decided to go into Francesca’s even though she usually didn’t shop there. Right on the mannequin in the window was the dress she wanted. It was a blush-pink satin flare dress that would hug her chest and then flow out towards the bottom with a line of ruffles. She tried it on and confirmed it was exactly what she wanted. 

That night Allie hung her dress up behind her bedroom door, staring at with excitement. Tomorrow was gonna be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends!!! this is kind of a filler chapter?? or maybe it isn't, i can't tell anymore
> 
> i always say i wanna end this fic soon and then i just keep writing endlessly...so here's to hoping you're still into it!!
> 
> thnx for reading, enjoy :)


	12. homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie attends the homecoming dance.

The homecoming dance was in the school gym, but the space was decorated thoroughly. The ceiling was hidden beneath layers of white and pastel pink tulle fabric. Gold, pink, and white streamers hung from light fixtures, pretty lace decorated round tables, and fake (but moderately cute) candles were scattered throughout. The gym almost had a hazy glow to it, everything softened by the candles and decor.

Allie wandered in with her friends in tow, amazed by the magical ambiance. They picked two tables toward the back, near the edge of the dance floor. Grizz, Sam, Cassandra, and Gordie sat at one table with Gordie’s friend Bean and her date filling the final spots. Allie, Gwen, Elle, and Becca plopped down at the table next to them. 

“So who’s filling those empty seats, _Allie_?” Becca said her name with such strong sarcasm Allie could almost taste it. She rolled her eyes. 

“I don’t know Becca, did you invite any of your imaginary friends?” Allie snapped back. Becca smiled at the insult. 

“Isn’t Harry taking one of them?” Elle asked in her small voice. Allie forgot how observant Elle was sometimes. Becca and Gwen raised an eyebrow at Allie. 

“I offered him a seat at our table since he was coming alone. I was being a good friend, sue me," Allie said back at the two of them, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. 

“Ah yes, being a good friend. That’s what that was.” Allie ignored Becca’s comment and glanced towards the entrance. Allie had arrived twenty minutes late (as usual), but Harry still wasn’t here yet. She considered texting him, but she figured that was too much. 

They gathered fruit punch and mini hot dogs for the table, absent-mindedly snacking on them. The dance was still slow-going, as they tended to be in the beginning. Gwen sneakily whipped out her flask and poured a bit of vodka in everyone's drinks except Cassandra, Gordie, and Elle. 

Allie could tell from the minute Gwen poured she gave Allie way more than a shot worth. Allie drank it too fast, the bitterness almost making her spit it back up. After taking another small sip, she decided she might as well make the night a little more fun. She downed the spiked fruit punch and showed her empty cup to Becca and Gwen, indicating they do the same. Gwen frowned but Becca’s eyes glistened with trouble. They clinked their cups and chugged. 

“Oh no.” Allie heard Cassandra say. She looked over her shoulder at her sister. Cass was tense, anxiety clear in her features. Allie followed her gaze to the entrance of the gym. There he was.

  
Harry was in a crisp white button-down and navy blue slacks, his sleeves rolled up a bit. His waves were falling out of their gel already, some loose on his forehead. His cheeks were flushed, a lazy smile painted on his face. Allie knew immediately he had been drinking. His arm was slung over the delicate tanned shoulders of Natalie, who had Harry’s navy blazer on over her tight white dress. 

Allie’s heart was in a vice grip, physically aching in her chest. She dug her nails into her palms, trying to calm the storm of emotions threatening to break the surface. She knew she had no right to be upset - Harry and she were friends and nothing more. She should have expected that _the Harry Bingham_ wouldn’t show up to the homecoming dance alone, but she stupidly held onto that small flicker of hope. 

She watched as he greeted people, bumping fists and high-fiving those he passed. They stopped by the table the Ashley’s were sitting at and Allie expected them to stay, but Harry pulled Natalie along. It was too late before Allie realized he was walking straight towards her. Becca was staring at her with alarm but Allie was frozen, no idea what to do. 

“Pressman! Did you save me a seat?” Allie gave a forced smile and nodded. Harry sat in the seat next to her and Allie rose up immediately. She couldn’t be this close to him right now. She vaguely heard Natalie introducing herself but she couldn’t focus on the words. She grabbed her phone and finally allowed herself a glance at Harry. He was scrutinizing her, concern clear in his brown eyes. For some reason that made it worse. 

Allie fumbled over her words, spilling out some poor excuse of needing the bathroom. She controlled herself well, no tears in her eyes until she made it out of the gym doors and into the hallway. She made a beeline for the bathroom, wanting privacy. She hoped her friends didn’t chase after her, not wanting to bring attention to her abrupt exit. 

She sat on the cold toilet seat, resting her head in her hands. This was worse than her crush on Will. Seeing Will with Kelly made Allie angry, but it never made her feel like she was drowning. She was in the deep end and struggling to keep her head above water with Harry. After a few minutes the bathroom door squeaked open. 

“Allie?” She heard Elle’s quiet voice and felt a tiny bit better at her presence. She pushed the stall door and peeked her head out. 

“Hi,” was all Allie could manage. Elle gave her a sympathetic smile and walked towards her. 

“Harry is stupid,” Elle said. Allie gave a light chuckle.

“No, I’m stupid Elle. I know he doesn’t like me yet I keep letting this crush on him build up.” Allie put her head back in her hands, letting her hair block out the few tears that escaped. 

“Allie...we can’t help who we like-” she started. 

“Oh god, you sound just like Becca now,” Allie moaned. 

“I wasn’t done! We can’t help who we like, but this isn’t completely on you. I’m not saying I think Harry likes you or anything, but you aren’t pulling your feelings out of thin air. He’s to blame for this too.” Allie was startled by Elle’s words. 

“What do you mean?” she asked. 

“I don’t know him well, or at all really, but I observe people. He spends a lot of time with you, way more than other people, even Natalie. I just don’t think he even knows how he really feels.” Allie silently processed her words. She felt that hope flickering in her chest and cursed herself for it. 

“Allie, that doesn’t mean you should just keep going forward like this. You deserve someone who knows exactly how they feel about you and shows it. Don’t settle for less.” Allie moved towards Elle and wrapped her arms around her thin frame. 

“Thank you so much, Elle,” she mumbled into the girl’s hair. Elle rubbed her back soothingly in response. 

“How are you so mature and wise?” Allie asked after they broke apart. Elle gave her a sad smile. 

“Experience, unfortunately.” Allie frowned. Elle never talked about her past, but Allie always had a nagging sense that there was pain hidden behind her light eyes. She grabbed her hand and squeezed, hoping that would express the gratitude and love Allie felt towards her. 

They walked back towards the dance arms linked, Allie preparing herself. She pasted on a smile, swallowed her emotions, and made sure she still looked good. She paused outside the gym doors and took a deep breath. 

“You sure you’re okay?” Elle asked a hint of doubt in her voice. Allie flattened her dress. 

“No. But I’m ready to have some fun,” she said, grinning up at Elle. They pushed the double doors open together and re-entered the dimly lit room. 

Allie went to the punch bowl before returning to the table. She nodded at Gwen who passed her the flask and Allie poured some in. She felt eyes on her. 

“You’re trying to party Pressman?” Harry asked in a teasing voice. Allie gave a fake chuckle and then met his gaze. 

“Of course. Aren’t you?” She said back coolly. She didn’t mean for her words to have that slight sting behind them, but they did. Allie saw Becca, Gwen, and Elle exchange a look. Natalie glanced between Harry and Allie, confusion and unease on her face. But Harry, likely too drunk to notice, just gave her a goofy grin. He toasted her cup and took a swig of his own flask he had in his pocket. 

People were finally starting to dance so Allie took the opportunity to drag her friends onto the dance floor, wanting to escape her table. She swayed to the music, thankful to finally feel the buzz of the alcohol she was waiting for. Everything was going smoothly for at least an hour. Once she saw Harry and Natalie leave to go sit with the Ashley’s, she rested her feet and snacked some more. And when she saw Harry heading back towards her table, she got up and dragged her sister to the dance floor next. 

She played this game of chess most of the night, making sure she avoided crossing paths with Harry. She was actually having a bit of fun, shimmying with her friends, taking cute photos in the photo booth, and even hosting a game of who’s the best couple with Sam, Grizz, Cass, Gordie, Bean, and her date. Allie quizzed them all to find out who knew their date best. To no surprise, Sam and Grizz won, but Cassandra came in a shockingly close second. Maybe Allie wasn’t paying attention enough to her sister, because she didn’t realize Cass even liked Gordie that much. 

The moment Allie was dreading finally reared its ugly head, and a slow song began. Allie watched as couples came together, hands locked and body’s close, as they swayed to romantic music. Allie plopped down in her seat, stuffing a Cheeto in her mouth. All of her coupled-up friends were staring at each other adoringly on the dance floor, even Gwen who was asked to dance by a boy from her history class. Becca was sneaking around with Jason somewhere, so Allie was alone. Harry had moved back to the Ashley’s table, probably finally realizing he was being avoided. 

Allie brought her gaze to him across the room, watching curiously as Natalie looked at Harry, a longing expression on her face, but Harry sat turned away from her, staring out at the dance floor. Allie traced where he was looking and saw it. 

Will and Kelly, holding each other so tightly they almost looked like one. Kelly had her head resting in the crook of his neck, and Will had his eyes closed, leaning his cheek against the crown of her head. They looked beautifully content. For a second Allie felt a pang of sadness, not for herself, but for Harry who was still hopelessly longing after a girl who had moved on. Even when she didn’t want to care about him, it wasn’t possible. 

Allie was distracted by movement and faint whispering coming from the wall behind her. She glanced back to see Becca and Jason making out in the dark corner which was not shocking, but Clark was gripping Jason’s shoulder urgently, a comical expression on his face. Considering she had nothing else to do, she got up to investigate. 

“Hey Becks,” Allie said casually, smirking. Becca reddened at being caught but quickly pulled herself together. She left one hand slung around Jason’s neck and brought the other to pinch Allie’s cheek. 

“I’m glad you’re here Al, I need your help,” she said. Allie looked between Becca, Jason, and Clark, unsure what was going on. 

“Clark here won’t leave me and Jason alone to make out in peace. Please go help him complete this stupid secret mission he has?” Becca didn’t bother trying to hide the annoyance in her tone. Clark looked mad for a second, but then he turned to Allie with a big grin. 

“Are you in?” Allie bit her lip as if in deep consideration, but she knew the answer before Clark even asked. 

“I’m in.” 

* * *

“So what’s the mission?” Allie asked. Clark grabbed her hand and began pulling her. 

“No time, we’re already behind schedule,” he responded in a business-like tone. In all of high school, she had never seen Clark look so focused. He intertwined their fingers and walked quickly, weaving through tables and people to reach the gym doors. Allie couldn’t help but giggle as Clark ducked and dodged hands, feet, and drinks, all while pulling her steadily along with him. Just as they were steps away from the gym doors, someone blocked their path. 

“Where are you two going?” It was none other than the dramatic librarian. Allie almost laughed out loud at the chances of this. She and Elle discussed this woman on the daily, and now here she was with a disapproving look on her face, eyeing Clark and Allie like they were criminals. 

“We’re going to get some fresh air, I have asthma,” Allie lied. It helped that she was slightly out of breath from the semi-run she was just doing. She could have let Clark answer but she was getting caught up in this adventure, and she wanted to see where it went. The librarian stared down at them over the rims of her small rectangular glasses before finally nodding. 

“Okay, but no funny business!” She said pointing at them. Allie did laugh now, but Clark pulled her away before the librarian could say more. 

They exited into the bright hallway and Allie had to blink to adjust her eyes. Clark let go of her hand, and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out a big wrinkled paper that looked like blueprints of the school. Allie leaned in closer and confirmed: they were blueprints of the school. 

“Clark what do you have planned?” She asked, skeptical. He smirked. He walked a few feet down the hallway away from the doors and then pushed the map against the wall, tracing something with his finger. 

“The football team has a prank planned. After they announce homecoming king and queen, the music is gonna cut, and the fog is gonna roll out. Then bam, the music starts, confetti drops, and the football team comes out in our undies and does a dance we’ve all been practicing.” Allie tried to imagine this all in her head and burst out laughing. 

“Are you guys crazy? You’re gonna get in so much trouble,” she said through her laughter. Clark shook his head. 

“Nah, we won’t. This dance is basically for us, our homecoming game was yesterday, which we won. And it’s all in good fun, no ones getting hurt or anything.” He shrugged and grabbed her hand again. 

“But we have to set up the fog machines and confetti by the fan vents in the gym so they’re ready to go off. Come on,” he pulled her again and Allie followed easily. 

“Allie.” She heard her name from down the hallway, and paused to check over her shoulder. Harry was standing outside the gym doors, staring at them. He looked flustered and Allie couldn’t place what else. Maybe angry? She felt her stomach drop with concern. 

“Clark, wait a sec,” Allie said, turning to face Harry. 

“What’s wrong, Harry?” He stalked towards her, closing the distance quickly. 

“What are you doing Allie?” Allie was startled by his tone. It was accusatory. Before she could even respond he continued. 

“Clark? Of all people? I thought you were better than that.” Harry glanced down at Allie and Clark’s intertwined hands. Allie forgot she was even holding his hand and dropped it immediately. She had a thought gnawing in the back of her mind, blaring like an alarm, but she pushed it back thinking better of Harry. 

“Harry, what are you talking about?” She responded quietly, hoping her gut was wrong. 

“I really thought you were a different person, but apparently not. Between the guy from last weekend and Clark now, you’re really just going through ‘em.” Allie felt rage burn through her veins. Her gut was right. How fucking dare he. 

“Are you slut-shaming me right now?” she spit at him. Harry’s eyes widened at her words, but then he got his resolve back and gave her a menacing stare. 

“Are you really hooking up with Clark right now?” He fired back. Allie laughed. A hollow, empty laugh. Harry shrunk away slightly. 

“I wasn’t actually. But I might as well, gotta live up to my reputation!” Harry’s mouth dropped open at her words. She grabbed Clark’s hand again and stared fiercely back at Harry.  
  


“Excuse us Harry, we have business to attend to.” She pulled Clark further down the hallway refusing to look back. 

“Allie, wait I-” Harry started from behind her. Allie whipped her head around so fast it almost hurt. 

“To think you almost fooled me into believing you were better than Will. You’re so much fucking worse.” Allie sputtered each word with malice, hoping it cut him deep. She was vaguely aware that she was wrong for wanting to inflict pain, but she was seeing red. If Harry answered she didn’t hear, because Clark forced her into the empty classroom in front of them. 

“So that was, uh, weird,” he said after a few moments. He was staring at her awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable. Allie nodded, staring at the floor. She felt her adrenaline pumping still, anger coursing through her veins. “Are you okay?” Clark asked meekly. 

“Everyone is always asking me that,” Allie said to herself. “I’m fine, Clark. You gotta go finish your plan, sorry I can’t come with you,” she said remembering the whole reason she was with Clark. 

“Are you sure? What he said was pretty fucked up, even for Harry standards.” Allie grimaced at that. At least she had confirmation that she didn’t overreact. 

“I swear. Go get your prank set up.” She gave him a weak smile. Clark moved nearer and put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. 

“I’m not good at stuff like this. But I promise our prank will put a real smile on your face. I’ll make sure of it.” Allie felt a slight ease at his words. Who knew Clark had the ability to make her feel better?

“Thanks, Clark, I’m holding you to it.” He grinned and then let himself out of the classroom. Allie sighed loudly. She pressed her fingers to her temple, massaging them. She thought tears would come, but none did. She thought she’d feel excruciating pain, but she just felt vacant.

She pushed herself off the desk and walked back into the deserted hallway. Allie headed for the gym, the click of her heels the only sound in the silence. She made it back to her table and sat down. Harry was nowhere in sight. 

Becca was next to her minutes later, beaming. 

“So what was Clark’s secret plan?” She asked. 

“The football team is putting on a prank any minute now,” Allie replied dully. They were getting ready to announce the king and queen. Allie could feel Becca scrutinizing her. 

“What happened?” She finally asked. Allie tilted her head in Becca’s direction. 

“Harry slut-shamed me. Just the usual.” Becca’s eyes went wide and she furiously searched the room for Harry. He must have ducked out after the fight. 

“Why the fuck would he do that?” Becca asked angrily. 

“I don’t know Becks. And I don’t care. This is my fault.”

“It most definitely is not your fault! He’s such an asshole, I swear I’m gonna kill him,” Becca was ranting but Allie stopped her. 

"I'm noticing a trend, Becca," Allie said. Becca looked perplexed, but Allie continued. 

“Losing Will hurt a lot. Then I met Harry and it was so easy to replace those hurt feelings with happy ones like Harry was just filling in that hole for me. But you can’t just not deal with pain, it’ll always come back to haunt you. This is all like deja vu, minus the confessing my feelings part. I set myself up for this. I need to start over. I need to work on myself.” This realization dawned on Allie when she was tearless in the classroom. She was so dependent on other people to bring her happiness, she didn’t know how to give it to herself. 

“I don’t know what to say, Al. I agree you should focus on you. But Harry was still very wrong and I am going to tell him that when I see him.” Allie couldn’t help but smile at Becca’s insistence to defend her.

“He was wrong, but not completely. I use other people, particularly guys, to find happiness all the time. I need to find it on my own.” Becca’s lips tilted downwards. 

“No you don’t, you haven’t even lost your virginity yet. Don’t listen to his stupid ass.” She said, putting emphasis on the 'stupid ass'. 

“He was wrong about the slut part. But even you have to admit, I do use guys in my own weird way. When I’m sad my go-to is taking a shot and kissing a boy. And for all of high school, I’ve depended on Will and now Harry to provide my daily dose of happiness.” Becca was quiet, mulling over Allie’s words. 

“I’m with you all the way, Al. Let’s find you some real happiness.” Becca pinched both her cheeks and then kissed one. She snaked an arm around Allie’s shoulders and rested their heads together. 

* * *

Will and Kelly were announced as homecoming king and queen, but ironically enough, before Will could even start his speech, the music cut out, and fog spread across the gym floor. Some people were panicked, but most people looked entertained. Just then, the gym doors swung open and the football team stormed in wearing their button-downs, socks, and boxers. Confetti blasted somewhere from the ceiling, raining down on the dance floor. 

I’m Bringing Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake blasted over the speakers as the guys grinded their hips and twerked. It was quite a comical display. The principal was beet red, desperately trying to find a way to cut the music and scold them. Clark sashayed over to Allie’s table holding a hot pink feather boa. He looped it around her neck and then turned around, shaking his butt in her face. Becca reached over and smacked it, and Clarke looked back, putting a hand over his lips and making a ‘shh’ sound. Allie and Becca lost it at that, falling into a fit of laughter that lasted through the rest of their performance, and the rest of the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda sad, but it sets us up for the start of the end! i hope Allie's development makes sense and doesn't feel random
> 
> let me know what you think and enjoy!! :)


	13. self reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie does some self-reflecting.

Allie tiptoed out of bed on Sunday morning, trying hard not to wake up Becca slumbering beside her. She quietly crept downstairs into her kitchen making two mugs of tea. She brought them back up to her room and left one next to her bed, and took the other with her to the desk. 

She sipped the chamomile tea and took out a piece of blank paper, aimlessly sketching shapes on it. Her mind felt full and knew she had to sort through all these complex thoughts and feelings, but she just wanted to give herself a few minutes of peace before diving into that. She watched a bird perched on the branch outside her window, chirping rapidly. She tried her best to draw it but it flew away before Allie could finish, leaving her with only a head and half a body. 

“Hey, bitch.” Allie almost spilled her tea, startled by Becca’s voice. 

“You’re so nice in the mornings,” Allie replied. “I left tea by the bed for you.” Becca grabbed her mug and sat cross-legged on the bed. Allie spun around in her desk chair to face her. 

“How are you feeling after last night?” She asked. Allie weighed her words, taking a sip of her tea to think. 

“I don’t know. My head feels full,” Allie admitted. 

“Of course it does. I’ll be honest, Al, since the fallout with you and Will over the summer, you’ve definitely been caught up in a whirlwind of drama.” Allie nodded. 

“But you know, I don’t think you nailed down the problem last night,” Becca continued, looking at Allie thoughtfully. 

“What do you mean?” Allie asked. 

“Allie, you’re happy almost all the time. Whether you're with boys or not, you’re just an optimistic person, always running towards the next big adventure.” Allie smiled into her mug, appreciating Becca’s description of her. 

“So why do I feel so emotionally exhausted?” Allie asked grimly. Becca furrowed her brows. 

“I don’t know...but we’ll figure it out. Promise.” 

Becca stayed over for a while, braiding Allie’s hair while they watched The Notebook for the hundredth time. Eventually, her mom called, demanding Becca be home in time for Sunday dinner, so Allie sadly let her go. It was comforting to have Becca around when she felt so lost. 

Part of Allie was hopeful. Becca was right about one thing - Allie had been running a lot lately, jumping from one big life event to the next, with no stop in sight. Allie wanted just a second of calmness and stillness. She thought maybe if she could achieve that, she’d find some clarity behind her mental fatigue. 

When her mom called her down for dinner, she finally released herself from her dark room, where she spent the rest of her day after Becca left, curled up underneath blankets watching Netflix. She took her seat across from Cassandra and gave her parents a weak smile. 

“You look bad,” Cassandra stated. Allie rolled her eyes. 

“Thanks, Cass,” she replied sarcastically. Allie’s mom served roast chicken and potatoes onto everyone’s plates and the light dinner chatter began. Her parents gushed over Cassandra’s stories about the debate team and student council and discussed what college they would be visiting next. Allie silently ate, half-paying attention, trapped in her own cyclical thoughts. 

“Allie, tell us about being stage manager,” her father asked cheerily. Allie bitterly thought  _ ‘assistant stage manager’  _ but held her tongue rather than correct her dad. 

“It’s fine, I like it,” was all Allie could manage. Her mom looked slightly disappointed. 

“Allie had this great marketing idea for the show, Ms. Holly loved it. We really think it’s gonna help sell tickets,” Cass chimed in. Allie felt expectant eyes on her. 

“It’s just like a behind-the-scenes look at the show that we’ve been putting on social media. After the play is over, I’ll release a compiled video of all those moments,” Allie explained. Her parents nodded happily. 

“What a great idea, Allie! Maybe marketing or communications is something you’d want to study in college?” Her mom asked. Allie internally groaned. Her parents had been bringing up college at least once a day. They were worried, considering when Cassandra was a junior they were already planning college tours and helping Cassandra find career paths for her major in Political Science. 

Allie had shown little to no interest in college, not because she didn’t want to go, but because it scared her. She had no idea where she wanted to attend, what she wanted to study, or if she even had the grades for a good school. 

Allie nodded feebly, feeling her mom's gaze still on her. “Yeah, maybe,” she replied. 

Dinner continued with minimal input from Allie after that. She was thankful her parents let her eat in peace. After dinner, they moved into the living room where her father put on his favorite movie, Forrest Gump. Allie was on the floor, leaning against Cassandra’s legs with a bowl of popcorn situated in her lap. 

When the movie cut to commercial, Allie’s father sighed and said, “This movie always makes me think of my friend Bill. He was always helping people, achieving big things, wouldn’t hurt a fly. He was a good man.” Allie had heard her father talk about this friend before, but she couldn’t remember what happened to him. Cassandra must have had the same thought because she asked: “What happened to him, Dad?” 

A solemn look darkened her father's features but it passed quickly. “He got sick when he was young, died very suddenly.” Allie spotted her mother squeezing her father's hand out of the corner of her eye. A morbid thought crossed into Allie’s mind and before she could stop herself the question was spilling out. 

“How do you think people would describe me if I died?” The room was silent for a second as they all processed her question. 

“Allie, why are you talking about yourself dying! Enough of this sad talk, the movie is coming back on,” her mother exclaimed in an incredulous voice. Allie turned back towards the tv and didn’t bother poking for an answer. 

After the movie, Allie retreated back to her room to finish up her chemistry homework. She worked silently, focusing hard so her brain wouldn’t trail back into her personal issues. A single thought kept escaping and ruining her concentration. Will Harry reach out to her? She angrily cursed herself for wondering, knowing it was a futile thought to have. It didn’t matter if he did, because what he said was horrendous. And she should be focusing on her personal growth right now. 

So caught up in her own torrent of thoughts, she didn’t hear Cassandra sneak up behind her. 

“You’re writing that reaction incorrectly,” Cassandra stated over her shoulder. Allie rolled her eyes automatically and was reminded of how annoyingly similar Harry and Cassandra were. Two know-it-alls. 

Allie turned her chair to view Cassandra. She was now leaning over Allie’s dresser, looking at the pictures sticking out of her mirror. 

“We look so cute here,” Cassandra said, pulling off a picture of the two of them at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Allie stood up and hopped onto her dresser, taking the photo. They were standing in front of Hogwarts, one arm wrapped around each other’s shoulders, butterbeer in their other arm, grins plastered on their faces. It was from two years ago when they took a family vacation to Universal in Orlando. 

“Yeah, we do. That place was so fun,” Allie said. She placed the photo back in its spot. She felt Cassandra eyeing her and knew something was coming. 

“Why did you ask that question earlier? About what people would say after you died?” Cassandra asked. 

“It was just a question, Cass,” Allie said back quickly. 

“Al, I’m worried. Don’t take this the wrong way, but things have been rough for you lately. You’re not like...suicidal right? You know you can tell me anything.” Cassandra said the last part low so her voice wouldn’t carry. Allie almost laughed out loud at the question. 

“Oh my god, Cass no! I am not at all! I’m just confused, jeez. You don’t need to take it to the extreme,” Allie said exasperated. Cassandra looked visibly relieved. 

“I was just making sure! What are you confused about?” She asked, moving to sit on Allie’s bed. Allie dreaded letting out all of the emotions she had been bottling up since last night, but if anyone knew how to help Allie understand any of this, it would definitely be Cass. Sometimes her being a know-it-all came in handy. 

Allie walked her through everything she had been feeling from when the Will drama happened up until Harry slut-shaming her last night. She told Cass about the hollow feeling it gave her, how she was scared she was depending on boys to give her happiness that she couldn’t give herself, and what Becca suggested was the real problem this morning. Cass listened intently, never interrupting or changing her focused expression. Moments like this Allie appreciated how analytical Cass was. 

“Allie you should have come to me sooner,” were Cassandra’s first words. 

“Well, I was ignoring you up until recently, so…” Allie said trailing off. Cassandra gave her a look but moved on. 

“I actually agree with Becca on this. I don’t think you’ve been depending on boys for happiness. You really feel that way?” she asked. Allie bit her lip. 

“I don’t know, it just seemed like the logical conclusion since boys are also what keep making me feel unhappy and exhausted,” she answered after a few seconds. 

“Okay let’s test the theory. What makes you happy, other than Will, Harry, or making out with random boys from local bands?” Cassandra asked. Allie laughed at her simple breakdown of Allie’s life. She considered the question. 

“Listening to music makes me happy,” Allie offered up. 

“Yeah and then screaming it at the top of your lungs in my car,” Cass replied back with sarcasm. 

“That makes me very happy,” Allie said, smirking. 

“There’s more than that Al. What about hanging out with Becca, Sam, and Gwen? And your new friend Elle? And I know you love theater and Shakespeare.” 

“You’re right, they all do make me happy. So does watching Curb with dad and watching Legally Blonde with you. And I love bike riding, and playing fugitive, and curling up with a good book. Binging a Netflix series on a Sunday. Baking carrot cake with mom is always so fun. Ugh, baking reminds me of food, I love food. Froyo, pretzels, Nutella, tacos, pasta, and basically anything mom cooks.” Cassandra was smiling even though she frowned momentarily at the mention of fugitive. 

“You do love food more than most,” Cass commented. 

“I guess there is a lot that makes me happy outside of boys. But I felt so dependent on Will, and now I feel that way with Harry. Like I look more forward to seeing Harry than anyone else.” Allie jumped onto her bed and laid on her back. Cass was quiet and Allie knew she was thinking still. 

“You met Will when you were a freshman. Remember how quiet you were Allie? You were so shy you would barely raise your hand when they took attendance. You became attached to Will because he was the first person that brought you out of your shell. And maybe that did make you feel dependent on him, but look how much you’ve bloomed without him. You proudly offered that new idea to Ms. Holly without hesitation, you’ve stood up for yourself against bullies, and you’ve taken on this new adventure with Harry, playing fugitive and stepping out of your comfort zone.” Allie felt her heart warming at Cassandra’s words. 

“And as for Harry, I think the answer is very obvious Allie. You like the guy a lot, only god knows why, but that's probably why you look forward to seeing him. You're crushing hard.” 

“Ugh, you’re so annoying, Cass. Why are you always so logical?” Allie said, staring up at her ceiling. Cass laid down next to her, their hair mixing together on the comforter. 

“Are you ready for what I think your real problem is?” Allie glanced at her sister suspiciously. 

“I thought we just fixed me?” Cass laughed. 

“You keep running away from problems and pain, Allie. You did it with Will, you did it with me, and I would guess you’re about to do it with Harry.” Allie felt her stomach and chest loosen, the knots untying for the first time in a while. She knew Cass was right. 

“I know,” she whispered back. Cass pat her hand. 

“You know what you have to do. Talk to Will-” Allie groaned. 

“No, don’t make me,” Allie begged. Cass pinched her arm. 

“Allie, stop being a child. Like I said, talk to Will and sort it all out, and talk to Harry. Tell him everything, including how you feel, I don’t care if it scares you. It’s not healthy to harbor your feelings like this. And make sure he apologizes to you for homecoming or I might just punch him.” Allie giggled at the thought of Cass punching anyone. 

“Yeah, okay Cass. You probably can’t even make a fist,” Allie said through her laughter. Cass pinched her again and pushed off the bed. 

“Well now you have my two-cents, do what you want with it. I gotta finish my extra credit assignment for AP Gov. Please check your chem textbook because I am positive you’re doing everything wrong.” And with that, Cass left. 

Allie lay in bed that night stewing over Becca and Cass’s words, and analyzing herself. She hadn’t done any self-reflecting in a long time and it was long overdue. She had come to the conclusion that Cassandra was right, but that wasn’t surprising really. Allie was still pissed at Will, but she could never hate him. He helped her figure out who she was and let her grow into the person she is now. So yeah maybe he was a main source of happiness for her back then, but that doesn’t mean it’s true now. But their friendship did deserve at least one more chance. 

As for Harry, it scared Allie how much she liked him. He made her laugh all the time and understood her in a way no one else did besides Cassandra. He could anticipate her thoughts and moods and knew what buttons to push to get reactions out of her. When she compared her small month-long friendship with Harry to her two-year-long friendship with Will, they almost felt identical. 

Allie had been running from things that made her hurt since the summer, and it was time she slowed down and faced them. First, she’d deal with Will, and then she would need to build up an insane amount of courage to deal with Harry. But for now, she just needed some sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was so unsure of this chapter, but hopefully it works and makes sense to Allie's character 
> 
> as always, pls enjoy and let me know what you think :)


	14. minor mending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie tries to mend her relationships.

Allie spent most of school the next day building up the courage to talk to Harry or Will. She would go over scripts in her head but they always sounded dumb to her. She only prayed that she would be able to keep her cool and not explode on either of them. She was trying to make peace, not war. 

Allie sat next to Ms. Holly at rehearsals, head buried in her laptop as she edited the behind-the-scenes video, and ordered more items from Michaels for props. She didn’t catch on to the hurried whispers from students around her, or the very obvious absence of the show's male lead. But then she got up to stretch her back and noticed: Harry Bingham wasn’t there.

“Where’s Harry?” Allie asked. Ms. Holly didn’t look up from her notes and said, “out sick”. Allie felt her stomach drop but she wasn’t sure why. She busied herself with the tasks she needed to complete for this rehearsal and made a to-do list for the rest of the week. When she had finally exhausted her yellow post-it note, she let herself relax for a few minutes. 

Will was up on stage rehearsing a scene and Allie watched with deep concentration. She used to always do this, providing Will with critiques at her dining room table afterward over hot cocoa. Will was a good actor, but he lacked that magic Harry had. That indescribable pull that entranced you when Harry was on stage. 

She opened up a note on her phone and made bullet points of all the things she wanted to say to Will, trying to organize her brain better. She was so caught up in building the list she didn’t even realize rehearsals were over until Cass loomed over her with a hand on her hip and an expectant look on her face. 

Allie told Cass to wait a minute and walked towards where Will and Kelly were gathering their things. Both were facing away from her, and Allie quietly neared them, biting her lip with anxiousness and running her words over and over again in her mind. Just as she reached out to tap his shoulder, he broke out into shoulder-shuddering laughter over something Kelly said and turned to plant a kiss on her cheek. Something about this intimate moment took all of Allie’s courage away and she quickly retreated back to her sister who was staring at her with a disappointed frown. 

The next day was almost a replica of the previous - Harry remained absent, making the pit in Allie’s stomach grow further, and she chickened out at the last second when attempting to approach Will. The only added interaction was Cassandra’s lecture in the car ride home after school, where she said the phrase “it’s like ripping a band-aid off” at least six times. 

Now it was Wednesday and Allie had sworn to herself she would talk to Will today or she’d make herself volunteer to wash the dishes after dinner even though it was Cassandra’s night. She hoped this threat of unnecessary chores would be enough to keep her nerve when she approached Will again. 

Her eyes couldn’t help but wander to Harry’s locker or to his usual seat in the cafeteria, but both places remained void of him. Worry was blooming in her chest but she tried to remain level-headed. She was supposed to be mad at him anyway. 

When rehearsals finally concluded Allie took a big breath and planted herself directly in front of Will. He looked up at her with surprise, but she couldn’t gather any other emotions from his dark eyes. 

“Can we talk?” she asked, giving a quick smile to Kelly before bringing her eyes back to his. He nodded and then told Kelly to wait for him by his car. Allie and Will walked side by side to the auditorium exit and then into the empty hallway. They faced each other, but neither spoke a few moments. 

Allie exhaled loudly and broke into her well-practiced spiel. 

“Will, I’m sorry for the way things have gone between us. I meant what I said at the party, I really do miss my best friend and I want to just put the stupid shit we said behind us. And yes, what you said was very stupid, but I also should have held my tongue.” She said it all in one breath and then avoided looking at his eyes, scared to see what his reaction would be. 

Allie peeked an eye up after a second and Will was giving her a small smile. 

“I’ve really missed you too, Al. I’m sorry about what I said at the party, it was an asshole move to assume that of you. Kelly really drilled into me for that one and has been pushing me to come talk to you but I kept chickening out.” Allie felt a smile creeping onto her face. 

“You were always shit at apologizing first anyways,” Allie said, smile now in place. At first, she worried Will might not take to her teasing, but his dimples appeared and he shrugged. 

“I’m never wrong, so…” Allie grinned and pushed his shoulder. They walked to the parking lot together, not missing a beat of each other’s sarcasm, jokes, or teasing. Allie couldn’t believe how easily things fell back into place. She waved at Kelly as they approached his car and then let herself into Cassandra’s. 

“Well?” She asked knowingly. Allie flicked her but responded with a smile. 

“All good.” 

* * *

Allie slept well that night, partly due to the massive weight that felt lifted away from her, partly because she didn’t have to wash the dishes. Will texted her that night asking to come over and watch Curb with her and her dad on Sunday (just like he used to), and Allie replied with an enthusiastic ‘of course’. It felt good to be back to normal, and better yet, to not have any hidden feelings of attraction towards her best friend. Sadly, those were all reserved for the alarmingly handsome and highly cocky Harry Bingham who was still ‘out sick’. 

On Thursday Allie found herself in Ms. Holly’s office before the bell rang for first period, inquiring again about Harry’s absence. Ms. Holly seemed annoyed he had missed rehearsals for three days straight but knew nothing other than his mom called the school and said he wasn't feeling well. 

That did nothing to curb Allie’s worry and by the end of the day, she found herself going to an unlikely source for advice. She leaned against the faded truck in the parking lot, arms crossed over her chest, waiting for them to appear. The last bell rang three minutes ago and Allie sprinted out of the school to make sure they didn’t leave before her. After another few minutes, she spotted them. 

“Hey, do you need a ride?” Will asked. Allie shook her head and turned to Kelly. 

“I hope this isn’t awkward, but can I ask for help with Harry?” Allie asked meekly. She could sense Will tense up at his name, probably not too keen to hear about Kelly’s ex. 

“Is this about his absences?” She inquired. Allie nodded. Kelly looked troubled by this, biting her thumb nail and focusing at something in the distance. 

“I’m worried about him. We kinda had a fight and haven’t spoken since and now he’s out sick all week. Am I being overdramatic about this?” Kelly listened, a sympathetic look on her face. Allie wondered how often Kelly was in this same position, worrying about Harry. 

“I’ve been worried too, actually. I don’t know if you were aware, but the anniversary of his dad’s death was on Saturday.” Allie went numb at Kelly’s words. She had no idea the night of homecoming also marked two years since his father tragically passed away. Allie wondered if that was why he showed up hammered. She felt guilt in the form of stomach bile crawling up her throat for forgetting that important detail. 

“I don’t know how much he’s told you but he isn’t as strong as he seems. He has his demons too. I just hope that’s not what he’s dealing with right now,” Kelly said, continuing. Allie could tell by her tone that’s exactly what Kelly thought he was dealing with. 

“I was considering going by to see him, but it would probably be better if you went, Allie. You two seem close,” Kelly finished with a hopeful smile. Allie felt herself nodding even though she had no intention of seeing Harry yet. 

“Thanks, Kelly. I’ll go by and see him.” Kelly opened her arms and enveloped Allie, whispering a quiet ‘thank you’ in her ear. 

* * *

Allie was silent in her ride home with Sam, still processing the new information. She knew it didn’t excuse what Harry said, but Allie should have known he was hurting. They’d become friends, good friends, and she didn’t remember one of the most important dates in his life. She walked into her house in a zombie-like state, so caught up in her own thoughts. Her feet brought her straight to Cassandra’s room even though she vaguely remembered Cass had some meeting that would get her home later. 

She curled up at the bottom of Cass’s bed, holding a light blue fleece throw blanket over herself. She found herself on Harry’s Instagram page, studying his broad smiles and sometimes tanned freckled face. His photos only showed one side of Harry: the cocky, fun-loving, popular rich boy who did things like sail all summer, throw magnificent parties, and drive fast cars. That’s how almost everyone viewed him. Allie felt privileged to know there was more behind his brown eyes than just surface-level things. She knew he loved literature and philosophy; that he felt more himself when he was acting on stage than anywhere else; that he loved his sister so strongly he would do anything for her; and that he felt a host of complicated emotions that those photos never captured. 

“Allie?” Cassandra was standing by the door, giving Allie a quizzical look. Allie sat up and put her phone down, aware of the frown on her face. 

“I need help, as usual,” Allie said, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. Cass put her bag down, took her shoes off, and then settled on the bed by her headboard. 

“Okay, go,” she commanded. 

“Kelly thinks I should check on Harry. The night of homecoming was also the two-year anniversary of his dad’s death.” Cassandra’s mouth dropped open but she quickly closed it and put on an analytical stare. 

“So you’re scared to go see him because you’re mad at him, but also like him, but now on top of that, don’t know how to help him with his grief?” Cassandra summarized perfectly. Allie nodded feebly. Cassandra sighed and shook her head. 

“That’s a tough one,” was all she said for a while. Allie moved to cuddle up next to her sister. Cass turned on her tv and they absorbed themselves into an episode of Great News on Netflix. Allie had been properly engrossed in the show when Cassandra spoke again, and it took her a second to realize her sister had even said anything. 

“You need to go see him, and you should put your fight and your feelings aside. It’s important to just be there for him if he’s struggling with his grief.” Allie looked up at her sister who was still staring at the tv but with a thoughtful expression. 

“Okay, I’ll go tomorrow after school.” Cass pet Allie’s head in approval and the two girls stayed like that for a while. 

* * *

The next morning gave Allie hope. She woke up to sunshine streaming through her window, birds chirping happily outside, and a warm breeze caressing her golden locks. Rather than catch a ride with someone, she grabbed her bike out of the garage and set off. 

Halfway through her trip to school, something in her gut twisted and she made a sharp right turn. She made her way into town, stopping in the local bookstore, the Honeybee. She climbed back onto her bike and pedaled hard to an address she had only ever gone to for parties. 

She arrived outside of Harry Bingham’s mini-mansion and tossed her bike on the perfectly manicured lawn. She made her way to the tall front door and hesitated, unsure of herself suddenly. Swallowing her worries, she dug deep for some courage and rang the doorbell. 

A petite blonde woman answered the door. Her face was very pointed, all sharp angles with piercing blue eyes to match. Allie immediately felt threatened by this woman and she knew it must be Harry’s mom. 

“Can I help you?” the woman asked curtly. Allie fumbled over her words for a second but found her voice. 

“Hi, I’m here to see Harry,” Allie said with a sweet voice and identical smile. 

“Why?” Her tone had not changed at all and Allie felt herself shrinking under her gaze. 

“He’s been out all week and I’m here to bring him his homework and notes.” Allie shocked herself at how easily the lie came, but it worked well. The woman moved just an inch, indicating Allie enter the house. 

Allie took in the high ceilings, intricate chandelier, and rich mahogany furniture that she never saw in daylight, only in dim lighting and stuffed with people holding red cups. The house was equally as intimidating as the woman running it. 

“His room is upstairs, the last door on the left. I’m leaving for work now, please see yourself out when you’ve finished.” Allie nodded, watching as the woman grabbed her briefcase and shut the front door, the click of her heels still echoing in the grand hallway. 

She slowly climbed up the steps and found herself in front of a familiar white door. She knocked. 

“Go away mom,” she heard a small voice answer. She knew it had to be Harry but she barely recognized the disembodied throaty voice. Rather than knock again, she turned the handle and let herself in. 

She hadn’t been in his room since the party over the summer but it was nothing like she remembered. Clothes were strewn across the furniture, food wrappers and garbage was loose on the floor, and the room was dark, with no lights on and the shades drawn. 

“Harry?” she asked shyly. She saw his figure move underneath his covers. His head poked out and looked at her through bleary eyes. 

“Allie?” he asked incredulously. “What are you doing here?” Allie almost sensed anger in his tone, but she ignored it and proceeded further into his room until she reached his bed. He looked terrible. His hair was a mess, dark bags surrounded his eyes, and his skin looked pale and clammy. She tried hard not hide her concern as she took in his troubling features. 

“I was worried about you,” she admitted honestly. He snickered preposterously at her words and turned over. Allie bit her lip unsure of what to do. She stood by the edge of the bed and talked to his bare back that was exposed outside of his comforter. 

“Harry, tell me what’s going on. Are you sick?” She aimed for her words to sound authoritative, but they just sounded uneasy. 

“You don’t have to do this. Just leave.” He took his time making sure his words were pronounced clearly and had sting behind them. Allie saw through it. She decided to cut to the chase. 

“Harry...Kelly told me it was the two year anniversary last weekend. I’m so sorry.” Harry turned over after a few seconds and stared at her silently. She could see wetness forming at the corners of his eyes and she had to fight the urge to reach out and wipe the droplets away. Instead she reached for his outstretched hand and caressed it lightly with her own. Harry said nothing, staring at her with his somber expression. 

He slightly moved his body away and Allie took it as an invitation. She sat down in the empty space next to him and interlinked their fingers. He let her. They remained this way for some time until Allie felt her phone vibrate a few times in her pocket. It broke her out of her meditative state and she decided to try again. 

“You need to push through this Harry,” she said quietly, not wanting to scare him off. There was no vocal response, but she felt his fingers loosen in her hand. Not a good sign. 

“You can’t stay locked up in your room forever. You need to come back to school, to the play, to your friends...to me,” she finished timidly. 

“It’s too hard,” he said to the ceiling. Allie felt her heart clench. 

“I know...but your dad wouldn’t want this for you.” She heard an audible sigh from him and wondered if she crossed the line by saying that. But instead Harry turned on his side to look at her. He stared at her for a while with that same analytical expression she gets from Cassandra. 

“I’m sorry about-” he started but Allie put a hand up. 

“We’re not doing that right now. It’s not important.” He looked like he wanted to say more but didn’t have the energy. So instead, he nodded reluctantly. “Let's get you out of the house. Go take a shower, yeah?” He surprisingly nodded again, and slowly peeled himself from the bed. He walked into his en-suite and closed the door behind him. Allie sighed heavily, releasing the tension she had been holding in her shoulders. 

She cleaned his room while he showered, folding clothes and throwing dirty ones into his hamper. She collected the garbage, found some sheets in the hall closet and put new ones on his bed, and finally opened his window and blinds to let in fresh air and light. 

He emerged twenty minutes later looking significantly better. Wet curls were plastered to his forehead and a towel was tied tightly around his waist. Allie looked away feeling her cheeks flush. 

“You cleaned my room?” He asked quizzically. Allie walked towards his bookshelf as she heard him start opening drawers to get dressed. 

“Yeah, I just wanted to keep busy while I waited,” she replied, trying to play it down so he wouldn’t be upset. She pulled As I Lay Dying off his shelf and thumbed through it mindlessly, remembering when she read it in English the previous year. 

“Allie, why aren’t you at school?” He asked suddenly. There was a hint of concern in his voice that made Allie warm. She turned now to find him fully dressed, hair still dripping onto his forehead. 

“Like I said before, I was worried about you,” she stated plainly, shrugging her shoulders. She placed the book back into its spot and faced him with arms crossed over her chest. 

“You should go to school,” he said lamely. Allie could tell he was thankful for the company, but his guilt was making him say otherwise. 

“Nah, I don’t want to. Besides, I have big plans for us.” Allie smiled at Harry’s skeptical expression and walked nearer to him. “Come on Bingham, I’m getting you out of this house.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapters will be very hallie heavy so get ready!! 
> 
> as always, let me know what you think and i hope you like it!
> 
> ps- if anyone watched (or read) the magicians this chapter title was 100% inspired by it


	15. gut instincts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie listens to her gut.

They buckled into the Maserati which Harry agreed to let Allie drive with a very pained expression on his face. Allie wasn’t the best driver, but she knew how to operate a car at the very least. She set up her gps on the dash before pulling out of his long driveway. 

Even Allie had to admit driving a Maserati was much nicer than Cassandra’s Prius or her mom’s crossover. It drove smoothly, accelerating easily and reaching high speeds with barely any effort. Allie was careful to stick to the speed limit though, aware of the apprehensive energy Harry was giving off next to her. 

Harry let her put on whatever music she wanted so her driving playlist (which was rarely played) was bumping through the speakers. She couldn’t help but sneak glances at him, worried that he might demand to go back home very suddenly and return to his room forever. She didn’t really plan well for today so her destination wasn’t exactly novel. She pulled into Earl’s Diner after a while, parking slightly crooked between the white lines. She noticed Harry’s grimace but ignored it, gathering as much positivity as she could muster up. 

They seated themselves in the same booth they occupied last time they were here, Deb waving happily at them from behind the counter. Harry didn’t look entertained but rather confused about why this was their destination. 

“Donuts make everything feel better,” Allie said cheerily, taking his menu away so she could order for the two of them just as he did last time. Harry slumped back in his booth and stared out the window. 

Allie’s mind was working double-time trying to piece together what she should say or do to make him feel better. She should have planned better, but that wasn’t her strong suit. She often acted on her gut instincts, and this morning they told her to see Harry. 

She checked her phone quickly to see a few texts from Cassandra as she predicted. 

_ Allie why aren’t you in school?? _

_ Hello??? _

_ Allie!!! _

_ Omg you went to see Harry didn’t you _

_ I meant see him after school Allie! _

_ I’m not covering for you  _

Allie smirked at the panic texts, imagining her sister’s voice and expression. She quickly typed a reply. 

_ Please cover for me Cass, this is important  _

Allie had a feeling her sister would agree considering Allie was following her advice. Her phone vibrated moments later. 

_ Fine.  _

She smirked victoriously and answered a text from Becca before stuffing her phone in her bag, and pulling out her purchase from Honeybee instead. She kept it on the seat next to her, rather than put it on the table. She wasn’t sure if it even was a good idea to give it to him, but she would see how the conversation went. 

Harry was still gloomily looking into the distance when Deb came over. Allie made friendly small talk before ordering one of every donut on the menu. She wanted to try everything this time and that was a lot. There were twelve different specialty donuts. Harry had wide eyes at her order but didn’t interfere. After Deb walked off, Allie focused her attention on the melancholy boy in front of her. 

“So how are you feeling?” She asked. She knew it was a dumb question but she didn’t know where to start. 

“Great.” He delivered his sarcastic reply without removing his gaze away from the window overlooking the river. Allie bit her lip and decided she should just stop thinking, that’s usually when she was at her best. She let her small semblance of a plan go and spoke from her heart. 

“Harry I don’t know what you’re going through, but I want to help. Please let me.” The words hung in the air, Harry showing no immediate reaction. Finally, he tore his eyes from the glass and looked at Allie. 

“How are you gonna help me?” He said with bitterness. Allie involuntarily shrunk backward into her seat. 

“I don’t know…” she replied back in a small voice. His hard gaze felt threatening, just as his mom’s did. But she found courage somewhere and continued. “...but I am going to try, whether you want me to or not. You’re stuck with me, Harry.” Allie sensed a momentary break in his defenses and his eyes softened so she pushed forward. 

“So if you want to sit here and sulk alone, stuck in your own thoughts, be my guest. But if you’d like to talk about things I will be sitting here eating my donuts, ready to listen.” Harry’s wall broke and Allie could even glimpse a small smile hiding behind his hand. 

“You’re so annoying,” he stated. Allie smiled now, knowing she had gotten through. 

“So you keep telling me,” she said back. 

“What have I missed this week?” Harry asked in a casual tone. Allie happily filled him in on the lunchroom drama, updates to the play, and anything else she could think of to fill the silence and keep him engaged. She wanted to get to the root of his absence, but she knew with Harry that it took time. 

When the donuts arrived, Allie cut all of them into fourths and started with a piece of the S'mores and Lemon Poppyseed. Harry grabbed a Snickerdoodle piece. A silence had fallen between them as they ate and Allie thought her gift from the Honeybee might be well received. She wiped her fingers clean and cleared a spot on the table to place the identical books down. Harry looked puzzled. Allie felt her nerves bouncing as she cleared her throat to explain. 

“So um, I bought you something. Well I bought us both something. I hope this isn’t weird but I just thought you’d like it, maybe.” Allie took one of the books and handed it to Harry who wiped his own hands before grabbing it. Allie continued before he could react. 

“I know you said your dad loved Dan Brown and you used to read his books together. Well, this is his latest book, and I thought maybe you and I can read it together to kind of emulate your dad in a positive way. But we don’t have to obviously, like I get it if this was too much. Sorry.” She fumbled over her words, nerves making her feel tongue-tied. She stared down at the circular pattern on the book cover and avoided glancing up.

“Thank you,” Harry said after a few moments. Allie snuck a peek up at him but his eyes were glued to the book. She could see wetness forming by his inner corner but didn’t comment on it. After another second he wiped at his eyes and put the book down. 

“Why are you doing this for me?” Harry asked, voice open and emotional. Allie answered without any hesitation. 

“Because I care about you.” He quieted, staring deep into her eyes.

“I don’t deserve any of this...I fucked up Allie, at the dance. I’m sorry.” Allie’s heart clenched at his words, thankful to hear the honesty in his tone. 

“Harry, we don’t need to talk about that right now. There’s more important things.” The corners of his mouth turned downward. 

“We do. I was drunk and messed up and I took it out on you. It’s not my business who you talk to or hook up with. I crossed the line.” Allie popped another donut quarter into her mouth and chewed slowly. 

“It’s in the past. And I was never going to hook up with Clark, that goes against girl code,” Allie stated. Harry almost looked relieved, but it was easily replaced by a smirk. 

“So you would hook up with him if girl code didn’t exist?” He mocked. Allie rolled her eyes. 

“That would be what you got out of that.” Allie picked up a piece of oreo donut and lightly tossed it towards Harry so it would land on his plate. For the first time since she saw him today, he looked like his old self. A devilish grin broke out across his face, lighting up his eyes with mischief. He reached to the far end of the table and took a dollop of whipped cream off the strawberry shortcake donut and then leaned across the table to smear it on Allie’s cheek. 

“You’re gonna regret that Bingham,” Allie said right before grabbing a piece of cannoli donut and stuffing it onto his face. Harry looked shocked, but only momentarily. He picked up his cup of water and raised an eyebrow menacingly. Allie wasn’t courageous enough to call his bet. 

“Truce! Do not throw that water on me,” she said fast. He lowered it down and plastered a victorious look onto his face. They both wiped off their faces and continued to eat the donuts normally. Allie could sense whatever high Harry was just on fading away as his eyes became distant again. If he wasn’t gonna talk about things, the least she could do was distract him from them. She was good at that. 

She looked out towards the river running behind the diner and got an idea. She popped out of her seat and beckoned for Harry to follow. He gave her a quizzical look. 

“Come on, Bingham! We’re going on an adventure.” She put two twenties down on the table even though that was way more than bill required and ran outside. She knew Harry hadn’t immediately followed her but she had a feeling he would. 

She made her way behind the diner to get a better view of the slow-moving water. The river was narrow, only about ten feet wide, and water only went as deep as five or six feet. She took a second to appreciate the sun glistening off of it, creating rainbows on the surface. Small fish darted by heading downstream, and leaves floated merrily along. She turned around to check for Harry but he wasn’t there. 

She had doubt blooming in her chest but right as she decided to head back inside he turned the corner. His hands were in his pockets and his eyes stoic. The light breeze was pushing waves of his hair to and fro. Allie stared for a second too long, lost in her own fondness of his features. 

“What?” he asked, noticing her intense gaze on him. Allie robotically smiled and looked beyond Harry to the dumpsters behind the diner. She spotted her escape to his question and her plan for their adventure. 

“Come help me drag this towards the river,” she demanded, stalking towards a large wooden pallet that looked leftover from one of the diner’s deliveries. The wood slats were tight together and it had enough surface area to hold the two of them, maybe even a third person. 

Harry didn’t look convinced but reluctantly grabbed one end and dragged it to the river. They put it onto the water and Allie was pleased when it proved buoyant. She held it in place and carefully tested weight on it. First she placed her bag, then started with one foot. It bobbed, but didn’t show any indication of sinking. Allie then tried to gracefully dive onto the pallet but landed awkwardly on her side. 

“Ow,” she mumbled to herself while she adjusted and sat cross-legged. She then realized it was still floating. 

“Get on!” She encouraged happily, a triumphant smile on her face. Harry was still holding the pallet in place so it wouldn't float away. He looked at her tentatively. 

“Do I have to?” he asked. 

“Harry, it wasn’t a question,” Allie stated. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He clunkily plopped himself onto the pallet, almost sinking it. Allie unintentionally laughed at his lack of grace and he glowered at her. 

“What are we doing Allie? This seems unsafe and stupid,” he complained after they began to slowly float through the lightly wooded area. 

“I thought unsafe and stupid was right up your alley,” she said with a sarcastic smile. He smiled, but she saw a hint of genuine worry cross his face. She needed to provide some comfort to him. 

“This river is so shallow and narrow that we could literally jump back onto the grass if we need to. Don’t worry.” She gave an encouraging smile and he returned it with a nod. 

“So where does this river go?” He asked after a minute. 

“No clue,” Allie said, shrugging. Harry gawked at her but then something broke. He laughed, a real laugh. Allie’s pulse quickened at the pleasant sound. 

“You're something else.” He said it like a statement that required no clarification even though Allie wanted some. 

The river really was slow-moving, and they could just make out the parking lot of Earl’s Diner after sitting on the pallet for ten minutes. Allie had one hand in the water, enjoying the cool temperature and feel of water rushing past her hand. Birds were chirping overhead and Allie could even hear the ribbit of frogs nearby. Harry was silent, leaning back on his hands and looking through the carpet of green above them. Sunshine peeked through the thick branches illuminating him in gold. Allie had to look away. 

“Kelly said the same thing to me, you know,” he said very suddenly. Allie blinked through the sunlight and lifted a hand to see him better. He was still staring towards the sky. 

“What do you mean?” she asked back in a very delicate tone. She didn’t want to scare him away from the topic. 

“‘Your dad wouldn’t want this for you’. Those were her exact words when I got caught using. I ignored her for a week after she said that.” Allie inadvertently scrunched up her nose as she tried to fit in the pieces of what he was saying. She didn’t know Harry was ever using, or that he ignored Kelly for a week. She had so many questions but she didn’t want to push. She just chose to ask one. 

“You were using?” 

“Remember when Campbell got kicked out of school for dealing? Well, I was his biggest customer.” Allie had to remind herself not to audibly gasp at this news. 

“Campbell’s a piece of shit,” she said reactionarily. Harry snickered. 

“Yeah, he is. But he saved my life, not that he was trying to.” Harry had moved his gaze to hold Allie’s now and she raised an eyebrow rather than ask her question out loud. 

“He told the principal everything. How much I was buying, how often I needed more, how much I paid. How I would lie to my mom about it. Lucky for me, our principal believes in second chances, even said he felt bad for me. He told my mom, of course, but he kept my secret. He kept everyone’s secret, Campbell gave him a whole list.” Allie remained silent, sensing Harry was going to continue. 

“My mom had a rehab all booked up for the minute school finished. I had three weeks of freedom left and I spent them hating Campbell, resenting Kelly for telling me the truth about myself, and wanting more drugs. Thank god I couldn’t find anyone else to sell to me.” Allie felt tears pricking at her eyes imagining Harry in this desperately lonely state. It wasn’t a Harry she knew, but it broke her heart nonetheless. Too afraid to say the wrong thing, she bit her lip and let a tear escape, wiping it quickly so Harry wouldn’t see. 

“That’s what got me out of bed today...you reminded me of back then and I don’t want to be that person again.” Allie sensed he was finished and took a moment to compose her next words. 

“I’m sorry Harry. I didn’t know any of that. But I definitely don’t think you’re that person anymore.” She said it with kindness and hoped he knew she was sincere. He nodded solemnly and fell quiet again. 

“It must be hard to deal with all of this without Kelly. You can still go to her, you know. She cares about you,” Allie offered up after a second. She knew Kelly definitely did worry deeply about Harry but maybe he didn’t realize. He shook his head in response. 

“Do you know why we broke up?” he asked. 

“No, only the rumors.” 

“I was draining her. I was depressed and self-destructive and she was trying so hard to fix me. After rehab she thought I was brand-new again, back to the old Harry, the Harry I was when I still had my dad. But I just got better at hiding the pain. She had this idea that if she tried hard enough I would get better but I didn’t and it was starting to affect her. She broke up with me to save herself.” He didn’t make eye contact and Allie knew why. He hadn’t told anyone this, and neither did Kelly. The truth behind the Harry Bingham facade. 

She thought to all the times she watched Harry and Kelly laugh together in the lunchroom, and dance together at parties. They always looked so carefree and blissful, she had to actively push away her yearning and jealousy for what they had. She always assumed they were some perfect fairy-tale couple, having the luck of finding their soulmates at the young, ripe age of 16. She would have never believed it if someone told her Harry was broken and Kelly was struggling every day to fix him.

“We’re all a little broken, Harry. Some more than most. But you’ll be able to put the pieces back together.” The words came naturally and Allie hoped they didn’t sound preachy. 

“I don’t know if that’s true,” he replied. 

“The pieces may never fit perfectly again, and there even may be a few missing,” she started but paused. A quote came to mind that seemed fitting and she blurted it out. “We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken.” Harry processed the words and she could see his brain dissecting them behind his tired eyes. He finally turned them to her and she knew the question behind his lips. 

“John Green.” She said it with a smile, knowing that if this were a lighter moment Harry would make fun of her. John Green definitely wasn’t classic literature, but Allie devoured his books when she was younger and memorized a few of her favorite quotes. 

“Not bad,” he said with a small smirk. 

They floated downstream basking in the morning light, talking lightly and pointing out interesting things in the forest surrounding them. It felt different though, like Harry was the kind of comfortable with Allie that he never was before. She always thought about the two sides to Harry Bingham, and today she finally got to be with the one he hides. 

Allie coerced Harry into a game of I Spy where Harry lost when he couldn’t find the squirrel Allie picked that was high up in a tree. She kept the conversation easy, hoping to distract Harry from heavy thoughts. The emotional toll talking about his past had was clear, so Allie kept it casual so he could breathe comfortably. 

She even managed to get a few laughs out of him. First by telling embarrassing stories about herself, and second by showing Harry her latest chemistry homework. He flipped through her answers and shook his head after laughing for a good thirty seconds. 

“You’re really bad at chem,” he commented. Allie narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Thanks, Bingham, real helpful commentary,” she answered back with sarcasm. 

“I’ll tutor you during lunch on Monday,” he offered. 

“So you’re coming back to school?” Allie asked, aware of how hopeful she sounded. He brushed hair away from his eyes to look at her. 

“Of course. You’re gonna fail chem if I don’t.” His smile combined with his playful tone made Allie’s heart burst. 

Allie grabbed onto a tree before they flowed too far downstream. The river was slow-moving enough that the pallet stopped with her force. She indicated for Harry to jump onto the grass. He grabbed her stuff and went to land, Allie following close behind. They dragged the pallet out of the water and left it by the side of the river. Allie felt guilty, but she told herself she’d come back with her dad to clean it up soon. 

It took them half an hour to walk back to the diner and the walk was mostly quiet. The forest muted everything. Their steps were muffled by moss and leaves, their breathing drowned out by the sound of the running river. Allie didn’t mind at all. She could lose herself in nature, in the sounds of birds and bugs, with the sun warming her skin and the breeze cooling it off. 

She gave Harry a few sideways glances just to check on him and he seemed surprisingly content. Considering how quickly his optimism was fading earlier, she was pleased to see that he wasn’t regressing back into himself. But she always thought a good dose of the outdoors could do that for you.

They got to the car and Harry walked to the driver’s side which Allie took as a very good sign. When she opened the door, her mouth began to involuntarily water. The car smelled like sweet donuts. She caught Harry’s eye and he was giving her an amused smile. 

“I took the rest of them to go,” he said buckling himself in. 

“Oh my god, did I ever tell you how great you are?” Harry snickered at her compliment and watched as Allie immediately stuffed donut pieces into her mouth. 

“I don’t know if I can save you any,” Allie said with her mouth full. He laughed.

“All yours,” he replied. They were silent the rest of the car ride, Allie eating her donuts and Harry’s own driving playlist lightly bumping through the car. 

Allie was in a sugar coma when the car stopped. She groaned when she recognized the school parking lot. 

“Why are we here?” she asked, not hiding her displeasure at all. 

“You gotta go to school, Allie.” He said it with authority, but also a hint of kindness. Like he cared about her not getting in trouble. 

“Are you coming?” she asked, trying hard to dampen her hopeful tone. 

“I’m not. But I promise I will on Monday. I just need a little more time.” Without thinking, Allie unbuckled herself and leaned over towards his seat, throwing her arms around his neck. She squeezed tight, and his hands slowly reached around her waist where they settled softly. Allie pulled away and gave him her winning smile. 

“I better see you on Monday, Bingham,” she teased lightly. He grinned back. 

“You’ll see me, promise.” Allie opened the door and pulled herself out but Harry spoke again. She ducked her head in to look at him. 

“I feel like I’ve said this a lot to you...but thanks, Allie, for everything. You’re a really good friend, way better than I deserve.” Allie nodded, trying to push past him calling her a ‘good friend’ again. 

“Anything for you, Bingham,” she replied honestly before closing the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, im the woooorst 
> 
> everything from here on out is hallie heavy, woooo
> 
> enjoy, hope you like it!!!


	16. halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie celebrates Halloween.

Allie was happy. She floated through her weekend on cloud nine, hanging out with Becca, Sam, Grizz, Will, and Kelly at the mall on Saturday and then cozying up on the couch with her family later that night to watch Saving Private Ryan (her dad’s second favorite movie). 

Harry texted her Sunday morning saying he started reading the Dan Brown book so Allie dutifully picked it up and read it too. She stopped on chapter six, unsure of how far Harry was reading and made note of what she liked about it to discuss with him on Monday. 

She knew Cassandra was waiting to talk to her but both their weekends had been filled with plans. Allie was free now, as she was most Sunday nights, lying in bed and studying her chem textbook with little success. But Cass was out on a date with Gordie. Just as with Grizz and Sam, she should have seen it coming but she was too wrapped up in her own drama to notice the way they looked at each other. 

She thought she had gotten away with not giving the play-by-play to Cass about what happened with Harry, but she should never underestimate her sister. Allie was lightly drooling into her palm, half-asleep with her cheek sticking to page 131 of her chem textbook when Cass burst through the door with a big smile on her face. Allie jolted awake. 

“Tell me everything,” Cass demanded, crossing her legs beneath her and sitting across from Allie. Allie blinked a few times and grabbed a tissue to wipe her drool. Cass was dressed in a pretty flowy dress with her hair half-up-half-down. 

“You look pretty,” Allie commented, still bringing her consciousness back to reality. Cass looked shy for a second at the compliment but quickly focused again. 

“What happened with Harry on Friday?” Allie slid her books off the bed and into her bag. She then lifted her comforters and pulled them over herself. She settled into her pillows. 

“It was good,” she said nonchalantly. Cass frowned and waited. Allie huffed at her sister's silent authority. 

“He opened up about a lot of stuff...I think I helped. He said he’s coming back to school Monday.” Cass brightened at that. 

“That’s great, Allie. I’m sure he appreciated you spending time with him...so…” Cass let her sentence runoff, not wanting to push Allie but clearly waiting for the next bit. Allie rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, I still like him. No, I’m not telling him.” Cass sighed deeply as if Allie were just a stubborn child. 

“Allie…” she started in her lecture voice. Allie was not having it. 

“No, Cass. I already made this choice once and it turned out terribly. Harry has become such a big part of my life in such a short period of time, I’m not gonna ruin it by confessing my stupid feelings like last time.” 

“You need to be honest with him or it’s gonna end up hurting you in the long run,” Cass said with more sympathy in her voice than authority. 

“It hurt me when I told the truth last time anyway. Might as well take a chance on the other option,” Allie explained, trying to keep the emotion she felt bubbling beneath the surface out of her voice. She could tell Cass wanted to argue back but was biting her tongue.

“Cass, I’m not ready for my life to implode again. It finally feels like I’ve achieved some normalcy. Just let me enjoy it for a bit?” Cass bit her lip, the same way Allie does whenever she’s thinking. 

“I can’t control your life, I know that. I just worry about you. But you’re smart and I trust you to know what’s best for you. Don’t hesitate to come to me if you need to talk, okay?” Allie nodded and opened her arms wide for a hug. Cass rolled her eyes but complied, snuggling into Allie. The two broke apart and Cass retired to her own room for the night. Allie fell asleep quickly, her consciousness fading back into dreams about failing chemistry, and what it would be like to date Harry. 

* * *

  
  


The school was abuzz with excitement for Halloween weekend. It fell on Saturday night and everyone was looking forward to the annual Halloween bash thrown at none other than Harry Bingham’s mini-mansion. Allie was worried Harry might not be mentally ready for it, but he seemed genuinely enthusiastic about it. 

He came back into school as if nothing had happened at all. He was still king of the lunchroom, sitting on top of the table rather than on the bench, overlooking the crowd. Allie always had her back to him, but after last week she couldn’t help but throw worried glances in his direction to confirm he really was okay. 

He tutored her on Monday and Wednesday, while the very sarcastic Elle sat with them, occasionally poking fun at Harry, but mainly writing down the gossip she gathered from the librarian. Elle was considering starting an anonymous gossip blog for the school at this point, where she wouldn’t identify anyone, but instead, just post snippets of conversation she overheard. Allie loved the idea and encouraged it, but Harry hated it. Elle said that was because he was afraid he would end up on the blog more often than he’d like to admit. 

Ms. Holly was the only person giving Harry a hard time for his absences. She drilled him at rehearsals, making him repeat lines constantly and stay late to practice scenes. If he was annoyed by it, he didn’t show it. Instead, he seemed to be flourishing under the extra pressure, his performances becoming more convincing after each take. 

Allie always watched in awe but tried not to stroke his ego on the car rides home. Instead, she would do her best to sound just like Ms. Holly and criticize his cadence. He would always feign annoyance, and then Allie would give in and tell him he was the best actor the school had ever seen. He beamed at that. 

On Thursday they spent lunch reading together in the library. Harry read faster than her so he had to stop at chapter ten so Allie could catch up. She could feel his eyes on her, watching as she flipped from page to page. It made her cheeks pink but she conveniently used the book to hide it. She wished Elle was here to bother him so his attention wouldn't be so focused on her, but she was practicing for the play. She had a strong feeling Harry was happy to have a break from Elle's relentless teasing. 

She finally hit chapter ten and closed the book dramatically, slamming it shut. Someone yell-whispered 'shhh' from across the room and Allie stifled a giggle. Harry smirked too and asked what she thought so far. They got into an intense discussion about where they thought the plot was heading. They proposed theories for what the big twists were gonna be and even made a bet that whoever was closer had to pay for the next batch of donuts at Earl's. Every time they made plans for the future, Allie always felt butterflies at the thought of having him in her life until a future date. 

The sun bathed him in gold, the way it always seemed to be doing, and Allie gulped and looked away. Harry had been soft today, closer to the Harry from last week than the one who was parading confidently around school boasting about his party. She quietly asked if he felt okay when they first got to the library and he admitted he had a nightmare over the weekend, but he woke up and started reading the book to take his mind off of it. Allie felt a burst of warmth at the confession, partly from him trusting her to see that side of him again, partly because her gift helped him. 

When the lunch bell rang, they walked towards their lockers discussing rehearsals later that day. Very suddenly, Harry reached a hand towards Allie, pushing a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. Allie held her breath, unprepared for the sudden contact and affectionate look in his eye. But in just a split second the moment was gone, Clark joining them at their lockers and joking with Harry about all the hot girls coming to his party Saturday. 

By Friday Allie was sure she completely dreamed the moment up. Harry was so painstakingly popular-rich-boy Harry again, it was like last week never happened at all. He was in high spirits, making an announcement about how his party was going to be 'the littest ever' in the middle of lunch. He invited the whole play cast (which was unheard of) during rehearsals. Allie saw him talking to Natalie after school and she assumed they were probably coordinating matching couples outfits that would make her gouge her eyes out.

On the drive home, he blasted the radio in his car, his party playlist bumping so loudly her body was vibrating. He asked Allie to go with him to purchase liquor and beer for the party but she wasn't bold enough to buy liquor with her fake ID, so he dropped her off at home, but not before planting an unexpected kiss on her cheek. Allie wanted to look into it as a sweet moment, but it really just felt like he was high on life and giving extra attention to anyone and anything near him. 

* * *

On Saturday Allie prepped for the party with Becca and Gwen, letting Becca curl her hair and do her makeup. Cassandra was shockingly coming too, but she and Gordie were getting there on their own. Becca, Allie, and Gwen piled into the backseat of Sam’s car. Grizz was riding shotgun as usual. They picked up Elle, who had become a permanent staple in the group, and she sat squarely on Allie’s lap, her butt bones digging into Allie’s thighs. 

Allie was dressed as a vampire, partly because she didn't plan far enough ahead for a good costume, and partly because she had become recently obsessed with Vampire Diaries. She wore a short, lacy, skin-tight black dress and matched it with a velvet choker, heels, and fake vampire teeth. Becca gave her a smoky eye and drew fake blood dripping from her lip. Becca was a sexy nurse, Gwen was hilariously Dwight from the Office, Elle was a fairy which was very fitting for her, and Sam and Grizz were Mario and Luigi. Allie reminded Sam and Grizz that Mario and Luigi were brothers, not lovers, but they said this was a new spin on it. 

They raced out of Sam’s car and across Harry’s giant lawn, beelining for the bar in the backyard to grab shots of vodka, which was almost becoming a tradition at this point for the start of every party. Grizz was the DD tonight and agreed he would only have a beer, so he longingly watched as they linked arms and downed two shots in a row. 

Becca dragged everyone to the dance floor where they found Will, Kelly, Cassandra, and Gordie. The group quickly merged into one big spot on the dance floor.

"What are you supposed to be, Cass?" Allie asked, eyeing Cassandra's short white dress and black cape. Cass lifted her hand to reveal a gavel. 

"Ruth Bader Ginsburg!" She shouted back over the music enthusiastically. Allie burst out laughing. 

"You did not do a sexy RBG!" Allie shouted in awe, but Cass nodded, very proud of her outfit. Gordie was dressed like a judge too, and Will and Kelly were very cutely peanut butter and jelly. Allie was swaying to the music and letting the alcohol make her think she was a better dancer than she really was. After a while, she got hot and broke off from the crowd towards the beer pong table. A game was just ending as Helena sunk a shot against Clark and a girl Allie didn’t recognize, ending the game. 

“I wanna play!” Allie shouted fast, so no one else would get to the table before her. Helena and Luke smiled in their matching superhero outfits and grinned at her challenge. She was about to call for Becca when Will appeared by her side. 

“Wanna kick their asses?” He asked with a cocked eyebrow. Allie smiled so big it hurt her cheeks and put her hand up for a high-five. Will hit it perfectly, creating a loud smacking sound. 

Allie and Will shared many things in common, but competitiveness was something that bound their friendship together like glue. They loved to compete against each other, but when they competed together against other people, they shone. Allie always prided herself on being Will’s best partner in swimming, running, charades, mario kart, mario tennis, cranium (their favorite board game), and of course, beer pong. Helena and Luke were known for dominating beer pong tables at parties, but the only people who ever challenged their titles were always Allie and Will. 

The two of them only missed three combined shots the whole game. It was merciless, with the game ending only after ten minutes. They celebrated so dramatically it was almost rude, and Allie chugged a beer in celebration along with Will. The next challengers came up to face them and Allie and Will defeated them easily. 

The night continued like this for a while, with Kelly eventually coming to watch and cheer them on. Allie offered her a celebrity shot but Kelly refused, swearing that she would be the reason they lost if Allie let her anywhere near the ball. 

Time flew by and they were on game six before they knew it, facing kids they had never met before from a different school. Harry’s parties were somewhat of local legend, always attracting kids from all around the neighborhood. Allie had been wondering where Harry was, but she tried hard not to think about him too much. She was scared that if she went looking for him, she’d find him making out with Natalie in some dark corner, and Allie wouldn’t be able to stomach it. 

But the random kids were putting up quite the challenge for Allie and Will, distracting her plenty from her own thoughts. After both teams hit most of their shots, the game was winding down and each team had one cup left. The match had grown quite an audience, especially since Allie and Will had been dominating until now. Will talked way too much shit before taking his shot and Allie knew he jinxed it before it left his hand. She was right, and it sailed over the cup by a half-inch. Now it was on her because she had a very strong feeling if she missed, they would hit her cup for sure and her and Will's reign would be over. 

She took a deep breath and focused her eyes on the cup across the table. She made Will move over so she could stand center behind the table and bent her elbow, practicing the shot a few times. Finally, she held her breath and threw the ball with a slight flick of her wrist. It sailed across the table on a pretty arch, and finally landed squarely in their cup. Everyone watching burst into cheers, and Allie felt herself being lifted by Will’s familiar arms. Allie forgot they still had a chance to shoot back, but it didn't matter because they both missed, probably distracted by the crowd. 

She threw her arms in the air in a show of victory, and give Will a hug. He placed her down and high-fived her, then turned to Kelly to plant a kiss on her cheek. Allie scanned the crowd for her friends' faces and paused. 

Standing there with a confused look on his face was Harry. He locked eyes with her and she desperately tried to evaluate why he looked so disappointed, and why that disappointment was directed at her. He turned to leave the living room and walk towards the kitchen. He tilted his head ever so slightly before he turned, and Allie was pretty sure he was indicating for her to follow. She gave a messy excuse to Will and Kelly and wormed her way through the throngs of people, keeping an eye on Harry’s curls a few feet in front of her. 

They entered the kitchen where a few people were scattered about. Most eyed the two of them when they entered but quickly returned their attention back to their own conversations. Harry started rummaging through his fridge and Allie hopped up onto the counter to watch. 

He was dressed in form-fitting black dress pants and a tight black button-down but he left the first few buttons undone. The only other discernable feature of his costume was a black onyx ring. She noticed he had attempted to gel his curls back, but they had already come undone and were beginning to fall over his forehead. Allie tried to put her finger on what his outfit might be but she drew up a blank.

She gave up on guessing in her head and watched as he pulled out raspberries, mint, sprite, and ice cubes. He grabbed vodka and poured about a shot of it into a tall glass with ice cubes. He then threw in the raspberries and mint and took out a spoon to crush them, making small red and green pieces float through the drink. Finally, he poured the sprite to top off the glass and mixed it all together with the spoon for good measure. 

He still hadn’t acknowledged her yet, but now stood across from her and leaned back against the island. He sipped his drink and then offered it up to Allie to try. She took the cold glass out of his hands and took a small sip. It was delicious, but that didn’t surprise her a bit. It was Harry after all, and if he had anything, it was good taste. 

“That’s so good,” she said, handing the glass back to him. Harry nodded and took another sip before placing it down next to him and looking at her. 

“Yes?” She questioned, feeling nerves tingling in her stomach under his gaze. 

“So you and Will are friends again, huh?” He said it in a casual tone, but she sensed the annoyance underneath it. 

“Yeah I apologized to him like two weeks ago and we worked it out,” she said back easily, trying to put a small smile on her face to appease him. Instead, he looked visibly angrier. 

“You apologized to him? What for?” He asked incredulously. 

“I was immature, Harry. He was my friend and I let a silly little crush get in the way of our friendship. I had to admit my own fault in the whole thing...besides he apologized too,” Allie said, trying not to sound too defensive. Harry shook his head disapprovingly. 

“Oh thank god he apologized, I’m sure his words worth a lot. Thanks for telling me by the way,” Harry said with sarcasm and venom. Allie was starting to get annoyed at his pompous attitude towards her. 

“Well I would have told you sooner, but you lashed out at me at the dance and then disappeared for a week. So apologies for the delayed update,” Allie bit back with sarcasm. She knew she was being unfair to bring up the previous week, but she didn’t like his tone and she was going to defend herself. 

“I apologized for the dance!” He said back quickly, voice slightly raised. Allie noticed the couple on the other side of the kitchen now watching them. 

“And Will apologized for our fight! I don’t see the difference here?” She snapped back. She didn’t know why she and Harry were on the verge of a fight over Will but between her confusion and the alcohol, it was starting to make her head hurt. 

“He’s an asshole, Allie!” Harry replied back loudly. Now the five other people in the kitchen were fully watching their fight unfold. Allie’s eyes moved around the room taking in their stares and Harry caught on. He mumbled ‘come on’ under his breath and tugged on her hand. She jumped off the counter and followed him into the hallway off the kitchen. Harry pulled her along, his hand lightly holding hers. They reached the end of the dimly lit hallway and Allie sensed no one would be able to hear them from here. 

Harry dropped her hand and Allie instinctively crossed her arms over her chest. He leaned against the wall for support and faced Allie, sighing. He was quiet and Allie took it upon herself to use the silence to defend herself and Will further. 

“He’s not an asshole. He just made some mistakes, like we all do. You’re really so hard on him, I don’t get it-” Allie was cut off by Harry’s shrill response. 

“He is an asshole, he doesn’t even like Kelly!” Allie felt her blood getting hot. It always came back to Kelly for Harry. Trying to control her jealousy, she focused her thoughts back to defending Will. 

“What are you talking about? He's been in love with her for years, since he met her honestly.” Allie wasn’t sure if Harry knew the extent of Will’s crush, but he must have because his expression didn’t indicate any surprise. 

“Exactly! How are you in love with someone you barely even spoke to? He was in love with the idea of her, Allie. Not the real Kelly, just what he made her out to be in his head. And you know what? He’s gonna break her heart too, just like he did-” Allie fumed at this and jumped in before he could finish. 

“It’s always about Kelly, isn’t it? I thought you said you moved on Harry!” Her jealousy was ripping out of her chest and she could no longer properly form her arguments. Now she was running off of emotion. Seeing Harry with Natalie hurt, but knowing Harry was still in love with Kelly was like a knife in her gut. She couldn’t compete with that. 

“It’s not! It’s about you, Allie!” He said back so fast that Allie almost missed it. This revelation temporarily ceased Allie’s rush of emotions and her train of thought stopped. 

“What-” was all she got out, confusion clear in her tone. Harry continued. 

“You’re still friends with him after what he did to you.” Harry’s voice was strong and clear now, dripping with an emotion Allie couldn’t place. 

“He didn’t do anything, it was my fault-” Allie stammered, but Harry pushed forward, not letting her finish. 

"Allie, he got to spend every day with you for years. And he took it for granted! After all that, he still didn’t realize how goddamn special you are!" Allie paused, confused at the turn in the conversation.

"He did think I was special, we're bestfri-" she started, but Harry interrupted.

"If he knew how special you were, he would have done this a long time ago," Harry said resolutely. And then his hands cupped her face and his lips pressed into hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took 16 chapters to get a kiss, i hate myself!!! 
> 
> as always, thnx for reading & enjoy!!


	17. fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie goes to the beach.

“Did you just kiss me?” were the first words out of Allie’s mouth after Harry’s lips left hers. She wasn’t known for having much tact, but in unpredictable moments like this, she had none at all. The look on Harry’s face made it clear she picked the wrong words. 

Allie knew she should have thought before she spoke, but she was in shock. What she felt during that kiss, she had never felt with anyone else before. It made her whole body buzz like an electric current was running through her that was supplied by him. The minute he pulled away, she felt emptier, like she was hollow. She craved his soft lips, and warm hands, and that pine scent that filled all the space around her for the mere seconds that stretched like an eternity when he kissed her. 

But rather than express to Harry in some way that this was how she felt, she instead stood statute-like during the kiss, arms pinned at her sides, and then asked him that absurd question when it was over. 

“I’m-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” Harry said so low Allie could barely make out the words. Her heart clenched at her misleading reaction causing him to withdraw. She instinctively reached out and grabbed his hand, intertwining her fingers with his. Harry glanced up at her, surprised. 

“No, I am very happy you did that, I swear. I’m just confused...why did you kiss me, Harry?” She bit her lip after she asked, nervous for his reply. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment and there’s nothing more to it? Maybe he’s been drinking and he feels lonely? Allie desperately wanted it to be because he liked her, in the same mind-numbing, body-buzzing, complete way that Allie liked him. But she didn’t think she’d be that lucky. 

Harry took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair, messing with the gel even further. More curls fell out of place haphazardly and Allie managed to control her instinctual reaction to brush them away from his eyes. She knew he was gathering his words carefully (unlike Allie), so he could give her a proper response. Allie waited for what felt like hours, but it had to have only been a few seconds. Their hands remained clasped together, which gave Allie hope that whatever response he was formulating would be positive. 

“Allie…” he finally began. His tone was so gentle and so soft, Allie was sure he was about to break her heart into a million little pieces. 

“I like you so much and I don’t know what to do about it,” he finished. Allie forgot to breathe. The words repeated in her mind like a mantra. She felt light-headed from the relief of his confession, from finally knowing her feelings were matched by his. Before she could spill out her own affinity for him, the door across from them swung open, and a pale, skinny boy from their school named Dewey drunkenly stumbled out. 

“Bingham!” He shouted at Harry goofily, but Harry only responded with a curt nod. He left the door open, revealing a bedroom full of drunk teenagers, two making out, and the others picking through drawers of the dresser. Harry sighed angrily. 

“That’s my mom’s bedroom. I thought I locked it, I need to get them out. Meet me at the beach in twenty?” He asked quickly. Allie nodded automatically. Then Harry added on, “The same spot you found me in last time,” and Allie was immediately brought back to that summer night on the beach when she found Harry alone. He released her hand and she turned back towards the party, knowing she couldn’t deal with drinks, dancing, or people right now. She needed to sort her own thoughts. She headed straight for the beach, hoping it would be as deserted as she found it last time. 

* * *

As she walked down the winding path towards the dunes, she sensed their hope for privacy was a false one. It smelled like a campfire, and she could hear voices drifting through the breeze towards her. The beach was littered with about fifteen people, all scattered around a fire built near the water. Allie could make out the silhouettes and voices of Clark, Jason, and Becca. Before she had a chance to hide among the tall grass of the dunes, she was being beckoned over. 

“Allie, is that you? Come here!” It was Clark, and Allie could see a few people had turned to look at her now. She reluctantly walked in their direction, trying to rub away the goosebumps on her arms from the cool October air. She wouldn’t have alone time, but at least she’d get some warmth by the fire.

“There she is!” Clark shouted happily, slinging an arm over Allie’s shoulder. 

"What's up girlie?" Becca asked. Allie shrugged and gave a small smile. Becca's face immediately fell and Allie knew she needed to get out of her own head. She didn’t want to talk about what happened yet, and she knew Becca would start asking questions if she didn’t liven up. She grabbed the beer that was hanging by her left shoulder in Clark’s hand and chugged it. 

“Yesss! I love when Allie gets wild,” Becca joked, poking her stomach. Allie tossed the empty bottle into the sand and considered that letting go a bit might be useful. Instead of overthinking, she should just go with her gut. Maybe this distraction is exactly what she needs to deal with her feelings and Harry. 

“Damn I wanted that. But I’ll take your presence over the beer,” Clark said, winking down at her. Allie rolled her eyes playfully, used to Clark’s incessant flirting. He didn’t know how to not flirt at all times, which was part of the reason Gwen ended broke up with him. 

Becca probed about what Allie had been up to and she filled her in on the beer pong games with Will but left out the kiss with Harry. She wanted that moment to just be hers for now, because it was still running on a loop in the back of her mind, a blurry movie playing at the edge of her thoughts. She vaguely noticed Clark’s arm remained on her shoulders and although it didn’t particularly bother her, she thought of Harry arriving at the beach and seeing them. He already probably thinks she doesn’t like him, and she didn't want to completely put him off. 

She shrugged a little to see if Clark would get her message, but his arm remained and she sighed. Clark noticed the sigh at least. 

“What’s up?” He asked casually. Allie ducked out of his arm and gave him an apologetic look. 

“Sorry, I only came out here to wait for Harry,” she offered up, even though it wasn’t really an explanation. Clark must have had his own opinions of the two of them though because he smirked. 

“Yeah, I thought there was something going on between the two of you…” Allie began to shake her head to disagree as Clark continued speaking, but she noticed Harry had arrived at the dunes. He spotted her and smiled, walking towards the fire. 

“...but you know back in the summer when Harry told us that he hooked up with you in his room that night, I didn’t believe it at all. I was like Allie Pressman? No way, she’s too good for you Bingham. But Harry always gets the good girls, I should have believed him.” Allie’s brain did that weird thing where it was mainly focused on one thing, but was still taking in background noise. She was watching Harry approach, studying his nervous expression, but her brain was listening in on Clark’s words. And Clark just said Harry started the rumor that the two of them hooked up. 

When she finally caught up with her brain, she ripped her gaze away from Harry and brought it to Clark. 

“What did you just say?” she asked in a tone that she knew was too aggressive. Clark raised a confused eyebrow. 

“That Harry gets what he wants?” Allie shook her head fast. 

“No, that he told you we hooked up,” Allie said. Harry was only a few feet away now. 

“Yeah, the night of his party we all saw you come out of his room. We asked him what happened and he said the two of you hooked up. I thought he was lying because that was way too fast, I always make sure the girl’s enjoying herself you know…” Clarke droned on but Allie stopped listening. She took control of her brain again and focused all her energies on the boy standing in front of her. He must have sensed her mood shift immediately because his nervous expression quickly morphed into concern. 

“What’s wrong Allie?” He asked in that same gentle tone from earlier. Allie felt the fire building fast, burning rapidly inside her and threatening to burst through her skin. But she didn’t act on instinct this time, she composed her thoughts just like he did. 

“You lied to me. You started the rumor that we hooked up at your party,” Allie stated in a shockingly calm tone, given how hot she felt all over. Harry’s mouth opened and closed a few times but no sound came out. She watched as the flames from the makeshift fire cast an orange light onto his face, and she could imagine for a second that she herself was causing the orange glow. She was confident she was burning hotter than the fire on the sand next to her. 

“You acted like we were both victims in someone’s stupid gossip, but you’re the reason the Ashley’s bullied me and Lexi undermined me. People whispered about me in the hallways for weeks because of you.” Allie’s anger usually came out in bursts of toxic venom that she spewed in fiery fights that fizzled quickly. But her rage was different now - it came in a slow-moving wave that felt like it could sustain her fury indefinitely. 

“Allie, I’m-I’m so sorry just let me explain, please. I wanted to tell you but I just couldn’t find the words because it was so awful, I’m so awful I’m sorry…” He fumbled over words just like he had earlier, but this time Allie didn’t find it endearing. Her heart didn’t clench in pain for him, in fact, it felt like cold steel, unmoved by his words and exasperation. She thought of how miserable she was at the beginning of the school year, and how the silver lining to it all was becoming Harry’s friend. To think he was the reason she even needed a respite from the drama. He was the drama. 

“You’re a liar. And I’m done.” She walked away, back towards his house, pulling out her phone and opening the Uber app. She didn’t cause a scene, she kept her words low, sparing him from the embarrassment he caused her a few months ago. Becca didn’t follow, having no idea what happened. Allie was satisfied that Harry didn’t follow either, taking her words at their face value. 

This time no one bumped into her or stopped her from leaving the party. She stood alone on the front lawn waiting for her Uber, letting her temper ebb and flow through her. She didn’t think - she let her mind go blank, and just feel instead. She knew she would be empty soon and the pain would hit. She knew the pain would fuzzy her brain, sending her through memories and thoughts and regrets she didn’t want to stomach right now. So she lived in her anger for as long as she could, just so she could protect her heart a little bit longer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for this short chapter but I knew I wanted to end it there
> 
> i swear it gets better for them soon!!
> 
> thank u for reading!!!


	18. just be happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie confronts Harry.

When Allie awoke, she had multiple missed calls and texts. Many were from her friends asking why she left early, but there were three missed calls from Harry and four texts. She opened his texts first, ignoring the rest of her notifications and read them through vision still blurred by sleep. 

_ Please let me explain Allie, it sounds worse than it is. I’m gonna call you, please pick up  _

_ Please answer  _

_ I can’t lose you Allie  _

_ I’m sorry _

She studied the four bubbles like they were coded with secret messages she had to decrypt. It was self-torture and she knew it, yet she wouldn’t let her screen go dark. She let her eyes go dry from the white light, reading the messages over and over again. The last two texts twisted her insides to the point of real, physical pain. She believed in his electronic words but they didn’t erase the betrayal she felt. And if she couldn’t trust him then, how could she trust him now? 

A small rational voice in the depths of her mind screamed for her to listen to her gut. Her gut felt that his words were true and that she shouldn’t sacrifice happiness over the pit in her stomach; it told Allie she knew him, and she knew he had been sad and drunk that night, and it reminded her that he chose to continue to see her after the party, and was sober most of their friendship. 

But she didn’t want to reason with logic and gut feel right now. She wanted to sink into the betrayal and be angry. She knew he jinxed everything. The minute he confessed his feelings for her, Allie knew she was doomed. Her world tectonically shifted and she was so caught up in the aftermath she didn’t see the tsunami that was following closely behind. 

When his lips touched hers, she felt that sinking feeling blooming but she ignored it. She knew things were too good to be true. That just wasn’t how her life worked. Good was always quickly overshadowed by bad, a harsh reality Allie had come to grow used to for the majority of her life. She remembers the first time she was old enough to understand. 

Allie fought with Cassandra for most of her childhood. They fought over barbies, clothes, boys, their parents' attention. When Allie turned 11 something changed and she and Cass found common ground. They got along for the first time, realizing they were fighting instead of bonding over shared interests. Rather than compete, they joined forces. Three months into their newfound comradery Cassandra had the first attack that landed her in the hospital. She was there for four weeks straight, hooked up to machines at all times, being wheeled away for tests at all hours of the day. That was Allie’s first life lesson about things going too good - the scales would always balance again and pain would follow close behind. 

She rolled herself out of bed, showered, ate a bowl of Cheerios, and sat down to her homework. She got away with her solitude for most of the day, her parents and Cassandra being at Yale for some admissions event. In the early evening, her phone vibrated violently against her desk and she reached for it slowly.

She wanted it to be Harry and she hated herself for hoping that. If it was him, she would answer. Her heart wouldn’t let her keep the void between them. But when she turned over her phone it was Becca FaceTiming her. 

Allie hesitated to answer but decided there was no reason to ignore her best friend. She had lied in her texts and said she just felt sick last night but she had a feeling Becca didn’t believe her. 

“Hey bitch,” Becca greeted casually. Becca’s phone was positioned in such a way that half of her face took up the screen and a big silver pot took up the other half. Allie tilted her head to better look at her friend and Becca picked up the phone, momentarily blocking the camera. 

“I’m helping my mom cook,” she explained, showing the pasta she was stirring on the stovetop. 

“Looks yummy,” Allie replied. Becca put the phone back down on what Allie now realized was her kitchen counter. 

“What’s up? What happened last night?” Becca asked looking into her pot. Allie bit her lip and then quickly stopped, knowing Becca would recognize that bad habit immediately. 

“Nothing, I just felt blah,” Allie said, trying to sound casual. The idea of talking about Harry made her nauseous. She knew she was reverting back to her old ways with this avoidance technique, but she couldn’t help it. She wasn’t ready to talk through and process her emotions with Becca yet. 

Becca brought her face close to the camera and raised an eyebrow suspiciously, but then decided against pushing the topic. Instead she dived into her own night, mainly discussing her interactions with Jason. Allie didn’t like Jason but for good reason. He had been talking to Becca for months but refused to give them a title, instead of convincing Becca that she was being so mature for understanding that they didn't need to label things. Allie thought it was utter bullshit. 

Becca was joyously retelling how Jason said they might plan a vacation together over the summer and Allie rolled her eyes automatically. Becca stopped mid-sentence and picked up the phone. 

“Yes?” She asked with crystal clear displeasure. Allie, Sam, and Gwen had all discussed their worries about Jason at one point or another, but Becca never took it well. 

“Becks, you already know how I feel. He says a lot of nice stuff yet basically won’t be seen with you in public unless it’s at a party. I don’t trust him,” Allie confessed. Becca put the phone back down and stirred her pot. She said nothing for a few moments. Guilt crowded Allie’s head so she tried to soften her previous words. 

“If you’re happy, I’m happy. I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Allie said gently. Becca sighed and shook her head. 

“We’re not all lucky enough to have a Harry in our lives like you. Most guys don’t give any girl the kind of time he gives you.” Allie sensed a hint of bitterness in her tone but knew Becca wasn’t trying to be mean. Unsure how to reply after last night's events, Allie remained silent. She was saved by Becca’s mother entering the kitchen and giving Becca what sounded like instructions in rapid Spanish. 

“Gotta go, love you bye,” Becca said quickly before hanging up. Allie let out a relieved breath. She avoided talking about Harry once, now she just had to keep doing it until people stopped asking. 

* * *

Allie biked to school Monday morning even though the biting cold made her cheeks pink and nose numb. She wanted to avoid her sister because Cassandra had a magical way of getting Allie to spill all of her feelings and problems which was the complete opposite of what she wanted to do right now. 

She got to school two minutes after the bell rang. She felt relieved at her timing, successfully avoiding everyone in the halls because they were in class already. She walked through the deserted corridor, her footsteps echoing. She opened her locker slowly, replacing books in her bag and pulling out pencils and pens from her lemon-themed pencil case. She heard the unmistakable creak of the main doors opening and closing, followed by successive echoed steps in the direction of the lockers behind her. 

It took her a few seconds to realize the prolonged quiet was out of the ordinary. The footsteps of the other late arrival had stopped yet she heard no doors open, not even a locker. She had the distinct feeling of eyes on her, and she knew in her gut exactly who they belonged to before she even turned around. 

She wasted a few more seconds listlessly organizing her locker before closing it and turning to face him. Harry was standing in front of his locker, just feet away from her. His hands fidgeted, first at his sides, then in his pockets, then running through his mess of curls before falling back down to his sides again. Even with the light trace of bags under his eyes, his hair in disarray, and a simple outfit of jeans and a sweatshirt, he still looked breathtakingly handsome. 

Allie instinctively crossed her arms over her chest but said nothing. The gap between them felt like a chasm and Allie wasn’t willing to cross it yet. Harry must have sensed it because he released a deep sigh and mussed his hair two more times before speaking. 

“Allie…” he started in a soft voice. It was enough to make her heart constrict and stomach coil. “Can we talk?” he finished. Her heartbeat so loudly she could barely make out her own thoughts. He looked as though he was going to take a step towards her but then decided against it, rooting himself in place. 

“I don’t know,” she replied, her voice thick with uncertainty. Harry hung his head, unable to meet her eyes. Allie was torn between two wants. One, to stay and hear him out, to mend their relationship and her heart. The other, to put as much distance between them as she possibly could and never look back. 

Her heart won. 

“Let’s go outside,” Allie said and led them through the exit doors. 

  
  


They walked along the east side of the building, the sun bright in Allie’s eyes. She was going to a set of stairs that led to a janitor's closet behind the gym. It was so far along the backside on the building that teachers and security rarely ever came by. The only person to ever catch students cutting here was the janitor, and he was good at keeping a secret (which Allie learned through Elle’s endless knowledge of gossip). 

She sat down on the highest step as close to the rails as she could get. Harry followed suit, putting a good three feet between them. She instinctively brought her knees close to her chest and rested her chin on them. She let out a small breath and watched as the cold air whisked it away. 

She sensed Harry was nervous and waiting for a cue but she wouldn’t give one. Just by agreeing to talk she did her part. Now it was his turn. She could see him fidgeting from the corner of her eye. 

“I know I already said it, but I’m sorry Allie,” he began. Allie concentrated on the large oak tree billowing in the wind across from them. She wasn’t sure if he was expecting a response, but she bit her lip and followed the shaking leaves rather than look at him to check. 

“I know it’s not an excuse but I was drinking and I was upset about Kelly. I didn’t plan to lie, but the looks on the guy's faces when you left my room, it was just too easy to let them think we hooked up.” Allie swallowed hard, imagining Harry showing off about getting with her. Lexi and the Ashley’s flooded her head, their cruel words repeating like a mantra. She couldn’t keep her silence any further. 

“It’s fucked up Harry. You acted like the rumor was hurting you too, meanwhile you started it. But that’s not the worst part,” Allie replied. She paused to look at him now, wanting to see his reaction to her next words. “The worst part was you pretended to be my friend, to care about me. And I believed you.” Pain flashed behind his eyes but he didn’t try to hide it this time. He let it remain there, raw and clear. 

“I care about you Allie and I did then too,” he stated, voice soft. Allie felt her small burst of anger fading from a boil to a simmer. 

“Tell me the truth. Why did you get lunch with me that first week?” Harry broke eye contact and pushed his left hand through his curls. 

“Because of the rumor. I didn’t know the Ashley’s were going to be so nasty to you and I just wanted to do something to make it up to you.”

“Because you felt bad for me,” Allie replied sharply, making sure what was left of her anger surfaced in her tone. 

“No, because I cared about you!” he replied exasperated. Allie paused, feeling the same confusion that clouded her brain when he confessed he liked her. 

“No you didn’t Harry, you barely even knew me.”

“Allie, I’ve had a crush on you for a long time. I just didn’t know it was a crush. I was always looking for your face in the crowds of parties or trying to hear your laughter through the noise of rehearsals. I used to tell Kelly it was because I felt bad that you were Cassandra’s sister, so I was just looking out for you.” Allie was holding her breath at his words now, scared that if she breathed the moment might break and she’d find out it was all some daydream she had while falling asleep in class. 

“The minute I said those words out loud, that we hooked up, I immediately regretted them. It sobered me up so fast. After the rumor flew through school and I saw everyone talking about you I felt like shit. I’d done good avoiding you for most of high school but the day I asked you to get lunch, I was trying to run into you all day.” She released her breath and broke the moment. 

“This sounds like bullshit. You’ve been with Kelly forever, but now you’re saying you had a crush on me? Like what? Harry you barely ever noticed me at all, this all just sounds like a very poorly planned excuse.” She thought about getting up and walking away, somewhat offended by the lie he spun. But she wanted him to convince her it was true, so she remained planted in her spot. 

“It’s not that simple, I loved Kelly and I still do. I wasn’t sitting there thinking about you when I was with Kelly, okay? Like I said before, I didn’t know what I felt. I was drawn to you, you always looked so happy and carefree, running around the hallways with Will, laughing obnoxiously with Becca at lunch. I didn’t even realize I was paying such close attention until Kelly pointed it out after we broke up. Not even maliciously, because she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.” He said the last sentence as a kind of an afterthought, but Allie still nodded imperceptibly to agree. He had a lot of respect for Kelly and so did Allie. She kept her eyes on him, hoping it would urge him on. Bringing Kelly into it made Allie think it was slightly more believable because he knew she could just ask Kelly if it was true. It made Allie’s heart beat faster. 

“After we played Fugitive, Kelly found me in the hallway the next day and just had this coy smile on her face. She said, ‘I always thought it’d be Allie’, and walked away. I knew I was in deep after that because she was right.” He had a small smile now, the memory clearly fond to him. “From that first lunch, you just changed everything. I didn’t even know how dim my world was until you came in and set it ablaze.” 

“I don’t believe you,” Allie said in a small voice after a moment. She wanted to believe him so badly but the mere ounces of self-preservation she had left wasn’t letting her. He frowned but nodded his head. 

“I know,” he replied, looking away towards the oak tree. Allie stood up abruptly, breaking out of her trance. She was protective of her heart, and Harry already hurt it once. She needed space. Concern filled his gaze but she tore her eyes from him and gained her strength. 

“I need to think,” she stated loudly, before walking back towards the school entrance and into class. 

* * *

Allie sat in her usual seat in the library, sun warming her skin as she munched down on pretzels. Elle sat across from her, looking absorbed in the doodle she was creating in her notebook. Allie knew better though. Elle was listening like a hawk, waiting to see if the librarian dropped any more tidbits of drama for the blog she had been working on. 

“Hear anything good?” Allie asked, flipping the page of her chem textbook. Elle shook her head grimacing. 

“No, her life has been oddly free of drama lately. Somethings up,” Elle commented suspiciously. Allie snickered and popped another pretzel into her mouth. 

“I’m so bad at chem, it’s honestly embarrassing,” Allie said after a few minutes. She squinted her eyes at the equations in front of her but none of it was sinking in. 

“Why isn’t Harry tutoring you today? Don’t you have a quiz this week?” Elle asked, now lifting her gaze from her notebook and onto Allie. Allie had the distinct feeling that Elle knew something, because she really always did. 

“Nope,” Allie replied shortly, going back to her textbook. 

“Nope, what? Nope as in ‘nope I don’t have a quiz’ or nope as in ‘nope Harry kissed me and things are weird and I still haven’t told Elle’?” A piece of pretzel crumbled from Allie’s hands. Her mouth was agape and Elle was smirking. 

“So it is true,” Elle commented. 

“How did you know?” Allie asked eagerly. 

“A little birdie told me,” Elle teased. Allie rolled her eyes and demanded the real story. 

“Well as you know I have many agents helping me run my gossip blog. Someone mentioned Harry Bingham was arguing with a blonde girl in his kitchen during the party and then they disappeared. Then someone else told me Harry Bingham was kissing a blonde girl in a dark hallway afterward. I knew it was you immediately. You and Harry had way too much sexual chemistry for it not to be you,” Elle smiled playfully but Allie didn’t return it. More rumors we’re going to spread about her and Harry and now she wasn’t even sure how she felt about him. Elle noticed the somber expression and jumped to fill the seat next to Allie. 

“Wait it wasn’t you? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” Elle apologized, regret in her eyes. Allie shook her head. 

“No, it was me.” Elle’s regret turned to confusion. 

“So what’s wrong?” She asked. 

“Everything,” Allie commented, finally releasing herself of the burden she carried by saying the words out loud. She got through the first half of the school day by pretending she was fine, not letting herself think of Harry at all, but it was a foolish game to play. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elle asked lightly. Allie breathed deep and shook her head. 

“No, not yet. Thanks though.” Elle looked uncertain but nodded and changed the subject. One of Elle’s best qualities was that she never pushed. 

* * *

Allie went through the rest of the day feeling on the verge of mania. Her brain was so flooded with conflicting thoughts, the idea of trying to sort any of them out seemed impossible. By the time the bell rang to end school she decided for the first time ever she would be skipping out on the play rehearsals. She was seconds away from a safe escape when Will called out from behind her. 

“Allie, where you going?” He asked. She pivoted to face him and prepared for her best acting yet. 

“I don’t feel well, I’m gonna head home. I’ll text Ms. Holly.” She held her breath hoping Will would leave it. 

“I’ll drive you. I saw you come in on your bike this morning,” he said casually, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and walking towards her. 

“No, no it's fine. You shouldn’t be late, I’m fine,” Allie replied a bit too forcefully. Will slowed his stride but continued towards her. Now he was studying her face with the kind of detail Allie knew would reveal her hidden emotions. 

“What’s wrong Al?” He asked with unease. 

“Nothing, I’m good,” she replied and tried her best to sell it with a smile. 

“I don’t know if you’re sick or upset but I am gonna find out.” Will pushed through the double doors and into the parking lot. Allie reluctantly followed knowing he was on a mission now. He unlocked his truck and Allie climbed in, momentarily unsettled by how long she hadn’t been in his car. He turned it on and pulled out of school grounds. He didn’t turn in the direction of their houses and Allie immediately knew where they were going. 

“We don’t need to go there Will,” she commented. He shrugged but kept his eyes on the road. After ten minutes or so they pulled up in front of a Moo Moo Treats, a milk-themed bakery Allie adored. Will would often take her here whenever she felt upset. Although she was opposed to spilling her feelings to Will, she couldn’t resist a scoop of milk-and-cookies ice cream that tastes like a mixture of oreos and chocolate milk. They ordered at the counter and sat in what used to be their usual booth by the front window. 

“So you plan on telling me what’s going on?” He asked. 

“No I wasn’t planning too but you’ve now cornered me,” Allie replied with a bit of sarcasm. He smiled. 

“Come on, Al. You can tell me anything, what’s going on?” She sighed into her hands and then peeked through them to see if Will was still studying her. He was. She didn’t know what it was, but something changed. It was like the dam broke and suddenly she wanted to do nothing but tell Will every excruciating detail of how she felt about Harry.

She started off slow, giving the details of how she and Harry met and how they were just friends. How she quickly developed a crush on him but didn’t think he could ever feel that way about her. She talked about his cruel words at homecoming and the disappointment she felt when he came with Natalie. She left out his dark week and just said they bonded emotionally. She even mentioned how she felt like he understood her better than anyone ever had, and Will maybe had a flash of jealousy at that statement, but Allie could have imagined it. 

Will listened silently and carefully. He was always a good listener. Telling Will her problems felt more natural than anything that had happened all year, besides being with Harry. She was finally getting towards the end of her summary and both of their ice cream sundaes remained untouched and slightly melting. 

“Harry kissed me at the party and basically said he liked me. But then I found out from Clark that Harry was the one who started the rumor about us hooking up at the start of the year.” Will had a visible reaction to this, fists clenching and unclenching. 

“So I left the party and then Harry sent me these texts about not wanting to lose me. So this morning we talked. He said all these things about having a crush on me for so long and how everything changed when we started hanging out and I just don’t know if I believe any of it.” Allie met Will’s eyes now and saw his mind analyzing every word she just said. 

“I still think Harry is kind of an asshole,” Will began. Allie resisted the temptation to roll her eyes. She knew he wasn’t wrong. 

“And honestly, if my opinion mattered on this, I would say fuck him you’ll find better.” Allie said nothing, a sinking feeling in her stomach. She almost wanted someone to tell her to just forgive him and be happy, but she knew that might just be taking the easy way out. 

“But my opinion doesn’t matter. And I know you really like him...and I think he really likes you.” Allie raised an eyebrow at this and urged Will on, wanting a further explanation. 

“The night of homecoming when Harry showed up with Natalie, Kelly shook her head like she was disappointed. It bothered me because I thought she might like him still or something but she kept saying that wasn’t it. I pressed her and she finally told me.” 

“What did she tell you?” Allie asked without hesitation. 

“It was when you and Clark were escaping the librarian. Harry was watching you, seething. He got up and followed you guys out. Kelly pointed this all out to me and told me she was pretty sure Harry really liked you. And she thought you were good for Harry, but that he was determined to fuck it up. She was disappointed he brought Natalie because she knew he only did it so he could keep pretending he didn’t like you.” Allie sat very still, processing his words. 

“Did Kelly say anything else?” Allie asked. 

“Not much, mainly because she knows I don’t like hearing about Harry. She did tell me Harry had a spark back in his eyes once he started hanging out with you. She said he hadn’t had it for a long time, but just a few hours with you and it was like he was alive again.” Allie finally scooped ice cream and brought the semi-melted chocolatey goodness to her mouth. Realizing how good it was, she started eating it quickly. 

“Slow down crazy,” Will joked, eating his ice cream at normal speed. 

“I’m even more conflicted now,” Allie admitted after a few more spoonfuls. Will looked at her thoughtfully. 

“Does he make you happy, Allie?”

“Yeah, very,” she responded quietly. Will smiled earnestly. 

“Then you should just be happy.” 

And that was that. Will didn’t bring up Harry the rest of their trip and Allie didn’t either. They bonded over tv shows and discussed the play and planned for a Monopoly night soon. 

* * *

The next morning Allie planned something she knew Cassandra wouldn’t approve of, so she naturally told her sister nothing about it. She sent the text message to set it all up and then got on her bike, better prepared for the cold this time, and made the long trek to her destination. She wasn’t sure if he’d even show, but she wanted to do it right. 

Her legs burned from the trip when she finally made it to Earl’s Diner. She propped her bike against the front wall and headed inside. Deb smiled at her and pointed to the booth she had shared with Harry the past two times they came. Allie expected the booth to be empty, but the sight of his brown curls made her breath catch. She thought he’d show up after her, and that she’d have a few minutes to think and order donuts. 

She approached the booth cautiously and slid in across from him. His lips curved upwards but went back to a straight line when he took in her expression. Allie realized her apprehension must be clear on her face. She smiled to reassure him. 

“Hey,” she said. 

“Hey,” he repeated back to her. Allie knew it was her turn to talk first and explain but she wasn’t sure where to start now that she had no prep time. She took a big sip of the water Deb placed in front of her and cleared her mind. She was better at working without a plan anyway. 

“So I wanted to give you a better response to the stuff we talked about yesterday. I owe you that much,” she began. He looked uncertain of where she was going. 

“You’re an asshole for starting that rumor and for what you said at homecoming,” he flinched at her words but said nothing. “But, aside from that you’ve been pretty good to me and I love hanging out with you. I don’t know if I believe what you said yesterday, but it doesn’t matter. I like you Harry and I don’t think I can stop.” He broke out into a smile. 

“And that's all I have to say,” she finished. She couldn’t help but mirror him and found a smile playing on her own lips. 

“I like you, Allie, a lot. I’m sorry for how stupid I’ve been, but let’s start over?” Hope was so clear in his eyes it made her chest bloom with warmth. 

“I don’t want to start over. There was so much good that happened, I don’t want to pretend it didn't,” she replied, thinking of all their car rides and inside jokes. The kiss. He nodded. 

“You make me want to better Allie, I won’t forgive myself for hurting you. But I won’t do it again, I swear,” he said with emotion thick in his voice. Allie shook her head lightly. 

“You might hurt me again, but I’m learning that’s okay. That’s life, you know? I got some really good advice yesterday. Someone told me to ‘just be happy’ and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. And you make me happier than anyone.” Harry smirked and Allie forgot how much she enjoyed seeing his stupid, cocky smile. 

“You’re definitely Ivy League, Pressman.” Allie laughed remembering that conversation and relishing the use of her last name. 

“Let’s order donuts, I’m starving Bingham,” she demanded, happy that things finally felt back to normal. She was studying the menu now trying to decide which donuts she wanted most. 

“Fine, but let me do something first,” he said back. Allie glanced up and watched as he got up and slid into her booth.

“Can I kiss you again?” he whispered. Allie lost all control of her voice and nodded her head. Harry placed a hand on her cheek and placed his lips to hers softly. Allie melted into the kiss, her brain going blank, only absorbing the warmth of his hand and lips. He pulled away smiling and tucked a loose curl behind her ear. 

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you since you sat next to me on the beach that night,” he said, holding her gaze. 

“Well you can keep kissing me for as long as you like...once you get me some donuts. Stop being such a romantic and order our food, Bingham.” Allie nudged him off the booth and he returned to his own seat. They stared at each other for a moment, smiling. Allie noticed Deb watching them, a disapproving look on her face. 

“So are you going to explain to Deb we aren’t cousins or are you gonna let her think we’re into incest?” Allie asked, pointing to Deb. Harry glanced back and choked on his water from laughter. 

“This is on you Pressman, you're the one who said we're cousins,” he remarked, still laughing. Allie sighed dramatically and turned her attention back to her menu. 

“I am literally wasting away right now and you still haven’t ordered our food,” she complained once Harry composed himself. His signature smirk returned. 

“Glad to see you’re the same Allie I fell for,” he said in a sugary sweet voice, but Allie sensed mischief in his eyes. He continued.  “Annoying, bossy, and only ever worried about food.” Allie rolled her eyes at the quip but a smile remained pasted on her face. 

“Get used to it Bingham, I have no intention of bettering myself,” Allie said back snarkily. 

“Good, I wouldn’t want you any other way.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii, i know it has been wayyy too long but I rewrote this chapter like 5 times (i suck) 
> 
> i hate writing endings, i think I'm so bad at them but hopefully this is somewhat satisfying
> 
> thank you for reading as always, i appreciate all the kudos and comments so much! reading your feedback made me want to keep writing more and more, so thank u!!!
> 
> i do write original stories on wattpadd if anyone is interested in reading my stuff there!!
> 
> love u allll xoxoxo


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